Take stock of past year before setting your sights on next
Stress for Success
December 27, 2011


How was your 2011? Did you accomplish your 2011 New Year’s resolutions like lose those ten pounds or save more money?

In approaching the New Year we typically think of what we’ll resolve to do in the next year. However, first taking stock of the year you just lived helps you better plan for the next.

At the beginning of 2011, if you had answered the following “magic questions” what would your answers have been?
· What did you want more of? E.g., more time with family, more energy, more savings
· What did you want less of? E.g., fewer arguments, less TV watching, less debt

Your answers make up your desires and wants; your potential goals. Write your answers as they would have been last January.

Next, assess how you did in reaching your goals. Then determine how important each was and still is to you.

If you didn’t make progress on your objectives, why didn’t you? Were your sights set too high? If so, cut them down into more digestible, bite-size targets: instead of losing 20 pounds shoot to lose ten.

Determine how badly you wanted to accomplish them. I believe ultimately we do what we truly want to do. So if you vowed you wanted to have fewer arguments with your spouse but that didn’t happen, what might you be getting out of the continuation of the arguments? Are you a controller and convinced you’re right and s/he’s wrong and it would be going against your own beliefs to back down so you keep arguing? To prove you’re right? Or do the arguments supply the drama you grew up with and grew accustomed to? An absence of this might make you feel uncomfortable.
Also, look at how the goal above is phrased: “to want fewer arguments,” versus “to have fewer arguments.” The former is a desire, the latter requires changing your behavior. Make your new 2012 goal into a specific, measurable behavioral change: “To decrease arguments with my spouse by 50% by June 2012.” This requires you to start by counting how many arguments you presently have before you can begin to decrease them by 50%. It also requires you to have a strategy of how to stop arguing. What is that strategy? Will you deep breathe each time you feel your blood pressure go up with him/her to calm yourself? Will you program yourself to stop arguing, like, “I respond calmly and avoid arguments.”

The truth is, if you don’t really want to accomplish your goals you won’t. And holding onto an unattained goal is stressful. So, set yourself up for success by creating goals:
· You truly want to accomplish;
· That once you achieve them you’ll feel better about yourself;
· That are realistic and measurable;
· That are written down on paper;

The New Year can be a symbolic new beginning and a potentially good time to commit to desired, realistic and rewarding change.

Happy New Year.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Positive life values can ease holiday stress
Stress for Success
December 20, 2011


Are holiday shopping, cooking - not to mention working - exhausting you?

To make this hectic time less overwhelming let your positive life values serve as your problem-solving and decision-making compass.

Your values determine what you think is right and wrong. They help you plot a course through your stressful world with greater clarity and purpose versus allowing prevailing winds dictate your actions.

Your values determine your character and affect everything you are and do. For example, a store clerk gives you too much change. Valuing honesty over money means you'll return it.

You need clear values and an unwavering commitment to them according to "Stress: Living and Working in a Changing World," by Manning, Curtis and McMillan. They believe "arrested development" occurs when you fail to complete any of the following requirements:
· Know your values
· Cherish them
· Declare them
· Act habitually on them

Consciously choose which values you want to guide your behavior such as:

Acceptance of others as they are
Fairness
Personal growth
Achievement
Family
Personal power
Appearance
Fitness
Physical health
Arts
Honesty
Privacy
Career
Leisure
Quiet time
Creativity
Love
Recognition
Education
Loyalty
Relationships
Enjoyment
Money
Respect for self/others

If you value quiet time but have a house-full of guests consciously allow your values of family and relationships to prevail during their stay. You’re not giving up your quiet time value; you’re just choosing to temporarily accentuate relationships.

To de-stress when someone pushes in front of you, consciously remind yourself that you value “patience” and “acceptance of others.”

Diminish becoming frenzied as you madly dash around making final preparations by focusing on those you’re doing everything for. Ask why you’re doing it, which exposes your values:
· “It brings me joy to please those I love.” Values of “pleasing others”, “love”, and “relationships” are present. As the pressure mounts, remind yourself consciously of these values to de-stress.
· Answers can also uncover stressful values like perfectionism or meeting others’ expectations of you. “I’m doing this because I should; because no one else does it as well as I; if I don’t no one else will; everybody expects me to.” If pleasing others is fear-driven it’s a negative value that can only lead to holiday stress.

Ask yourself, “What do I want to do (vs. have to do)? What do I prefer happen (vs. what should happen)?” To free yourself pursue what you want and prefer vs. what you should or have to do.

Before potentially stressful events, identify which values to honor. For instance, you and your nemesis attend the same Christmas party. Your typical reactions to each other are competitive and defensive. To honor the values you want to display repeat a mantra over and over affirming them: “I respect him and accept him as he is.” Repetitively recite this to yourself before and during the party to act in accordance with your values.

Look ahead to the stressful holiday challenges. Consciously choose the positive values you want to express to serve as your behavioral compass.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Domestic violence from the victim’s point of view
Stress for Success
December 6, 2011


October was Awareness Month for both Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence (DV). Since it’s difficult to be noticed while competing with breast cancer awareness I’m focusing on domestic violence this month.

To increase understanding of DV I’ve enlisted the help of Abuse Counseling and Treatment (ACT) community educator Christine Kobie.

During stressful times, family arguments over such issues as housework, finances, parenting styles, or sex tend to increase. How each person handles their issues determines whether the conflicts become opportunities to strengthen their relationship or become a matter of power and control. Quarrels accompanied by alcohol and drugs can escalate violence. A relationship becomes unhealthy when jealousy, money, coercion, insults, threats, manipulation or physical violence are used to win arguments or to control the other person.

Those affected by domestic violence go into a survival mode, which creates an overall stress consuming their entire being. Physical signs of stress can include changes in eating patterns, body aches, fatigue, headaches, and of course pain from actual physical abuse. Emotional and psychological effects may include feelings of numbness, isolation, depression, confusion, and constant fear, while being hyper-alert.

Societal opinions and ignorance regarding abusive relationship dynamics often blame the victim creating a fear of judgment from loved ones. One client reported feeling as if everyone knew her secret; her neighbors, friends, family and co-workers. Victims often isolate themselves for fear of someone getting close and finding out the truth of what is going on in the home. When there’s noticeable evidence of violence the victim invents believable excuses for those around her.

Victims of DV can become paralyzed by their fears and worries over increased violence, keeping the peace, the effects on the kids, saving enough money to move to a safe place, and finding the strength to keep trying. It’s common that children are used as pawns in a game through threats to take them away.

Domestic violence also impacts employers when an employee misses work due to an injury. Some abusive partners also create problems by repeatedly calling the workplace, showing up and causing a disruption or by not allowing the employee to leave for work, forcing her to be late or to miss work. The victim is usually in a constant state of fear of losing her job; getting fired means financial dependence giving the abusive partner even more control.

The stress of living with family violence can be alleviated through:
· Counseling: many clients find common ground with others in their session. ACT provides counseling, helps create safety plans and offers emergency shelter for victims, their children and pets. The 24-hour hotline is (239) 939-3112.
· Daily journaling, reading, warm baths and walks outside help clear the mind and relax the body.

Christine Kobie, international speaker and ACT public educator, teaches healthy parenting and violence prevention throughout Lee County to parents and in schools, medical settings, and detention centers. Christine has appeared on many local and national radio and talk shows. Schedule a presentation or request more information by emailing her at ckobie@actabuse.com.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Home not always place to find respite, safety
Stress for Success
November 30, 2011


Home is supposed to be welcoming, comfortable and pleasant; a respite away from your active and often stressful public life.

But what if you don’t feel safe in your own home? What if your home is more of a prison than a refuge? What if you fear for not only your own safety but for that of your children? The stress this creates is something families free of domestic violence can only attempt to understand.

October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month, competing with Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So I’ve waited until now to address the potentially extreme stress of domestic violence.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, National Center for Victims of Crime, and WomensLaw.org, domestic violence includes:
· A pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.
· It can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.

Physical abuse includes:
· Hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, etc.
· It also includes denying a partner medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use upon him or her.

Sexual abuse is:
· Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact or behavior without consent including but not limited to marital rape, attacks on sexual parts of the body, forcing sex after physical violence has occurred, or treating one in a sexually demeaning manner.

Emotional abuse is:
· Undermining someone’s sense of self-worth and/or self-esteem.
· This may include constant criticism, diminishing one's abilities, name-calling, or damaging one's relationship with his or her children.

Economic abuse:
· Making or attempting to make an individual financially dependent by maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding one's access to money, or forbidding one's attendance at school or employment.

Psychological abuse:
· Causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner's family or friends; destruction of pets and property; and forcing isolation from family, friends, or school and/or work.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. It occurs in both opposite-sex and same-sex relationships and can happen to intimate partners who are married, living together, or dating.

Domestic violence not only affects those who are abused, but also has a substantial effect on family members, friends, co-workers, other witnesses, and the community at large. Children, who grow up witnessing domestic violence, are among those seriously affected by this crime. Frequent exposure to violence in the home not only predisposes children to numerous social and physical problems, but also teaches them that violence is a normal way of life therefore, increasing their risk of becoming society's next generation of victims and abusers.

If you need help, call the National domestic violence hotlines:
· 800-799-SAFE (7293)
· 800-787-3224

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Being grateful balances stress
Stress for Success
November 22, 2011


Thanksgiving reminds us to be grateful for what we have. This balances stress by providing a better perspective on life.

Listing what you’re grateful for in difficult situations also limits their ability to overwhelm you. So, if you’re stressed by a traffic jam remind yourself you’re grateful you’re A-C works, there’s good music to listen to, etc.

Today I challenge you to stretch your conscious awareness of what you’re grateful for. This serves as a reminder that life is significantly better than you sometimes think.

Here’s my partial list. I’ll start at the beginning.

I’m grateful I was born to my parents who encouraged in all of us kids curiosity, personal responsibility, self-confidence, kindness, etc. They passed on their love of music and supported our vocal and instrumental musical development. This gave me the wonderful skill of reading music, opening up a life-time of joy. The challenge of reading, learning and performing with the Symphonic Chorale of SW FL (our new name) gives me bliss.

I’m also grateful my parents encouraged me to pursue whatever I wanted, which led me to a great education and a 27-month stint in the Peace Corps. This experience greatly expanded my mind through adventures, learning a second language and fascinating relationships. It made me realize I needed to work in the world of ideas, which has fueled my motivation since the 1970s.

I’m eternally grateful that I married a loving, kind, intelligent, creative and funny man; my best friend for almost 35 years. I’m thankful for the trust we have and the security that engenders. This loving existence almost certainly contributes to our on-going good health, for which I’m eternally thankful.

I’m also eternally grateful for our wide circle of dear friends. We’ve helped each other through great times and not-so-great ones. We’re always there for each other. We laugh and we cry - together.

I must include our local weather: no hurricanes this year, just plenty of nourishing rain, and an early fall, always good for my thinning MN blood.

We’re grateful our house sale, finding and buying a new one and moving are behind us. Good grief! We’re thankful our beloved cat, who went missing for two weeks after moving into our new neighborhood, found his way back home. We’re so impressed with the many kind neighbors who helped us look for him.

I’m grateful for sunsets and sun rises, the sound of the wind through the pine trees, no mortgage, funny people, my husband’s great cooking, the sweet premature babies I volunteer with at Health Park and the incredible nurses who run the Progressive Care Nursery. I’m thankful for a good night’s sleep, meditation, a commitment to things that are bigger than myself, that I virtually never get bored, and summers off – soon.

What are you thankful for? Make a very long list. Review it, especially when times are difficult. In anxious situations list a few things about that very situation for which you’re grateful. You minimize your stress each time you do this.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Cause of your stress not always what you think
Stress for Success
November 15, 2011


Do you assume you usually know what causes your stress? Are you sure you’re right?

Often what you think is stressing you really isn’t. That’s why accurately identifying the actual cause of your stress is the first step in managing it.

To do this you need to understand the most important point in stress management: stress is in the mind of the beholder. What stresses you may or may not stress me and vice versa. In other words, more often than not, your stress is in how you interpret situations; more often than not much if not most of your stress is in your head.

For example, what’s your attitude toward our winter visitors? If you’re grateful for the business they represent you’re probably not, in general, be stressed by them. But if you find traffic jams and long lines at area restaurants aggravating you’re stressed and may wish the Snow Birds would go back home!

I hate to tell you this, but the Snow Birds aren’t causing your stress. If they were, everyone would have to be equally stressed by them.

It’s not to say you should or shouldn’t think about our tourist season in any certain way. The point is that stress is in the mind of the beholder. When you behold irritation and inconvenience you’re stressed. When you behold economic gain you’re not.

To complicate the picture, every day humans find what they look for. If you perceive the tourist season to be a hassle, you’ll look for and find evidence of it. If you see economic benefits you’ll look for and find confirmation of that.

Miss this point and you’ll miss great opportunities for problem-solving, therefore stress reduction. Here’s why.

Your perception or interpretation of stressors determines the options you can see to solve them. Assuming tourists stress you leaves you with no real options for problem-solving because your view suggests the tourists must change for you to feel better. When will this happen? Don’t hold your breath! Tourists are beyond your control. Effective problem-solving requires you to invest your energy into that which is within your control.

What is within your control is your choice of reactions. “In all situations that stress you, you have a minimum of two options. You can go crazy or you can go peacefully. The choice is always yours.” – Adelle Greenfield.

If you want to go more peacefully and lower your stress coping with heavy traffic and the busyness tourism brings to our area, what are your options? You could put on relaxing music when stuck in traffic, avoid traffic when possible during rush hours, leave early, you could focus on the benefits of tourism, or you could find some humor in frustrating situations. It’s really up to you how much stress you experience.

So what’s it going to be? Do you want to go crazy or go peacefully? The choice truly is yours. Make your choice soon because with any luck we’ll have a great and busy upcoming season.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Post-traumatic Stress sufferers need security
Insecurity at root of fear, overreactions
Stress for Success
September 13, 2011


The American Legion has supported veterans suffering from combat stress since World War I, when returned vets were turning up in jails, hospitals, asylums and on street corners, haunted by battles long-gone. Legion research exposed this problem, which helped create the VA.

Decades of wars and research later combat stress is now known as post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD. The Legion dropped “disorder” because of its stigmatizing implication since many soldiers avoid treatment for fear it will hurt their careers. So I’ll refer to the condition as PTS.

About 20% of Iraq/Afghanistan soldiers are returning with PTS or depression, which is compounded by traumatic brain injury (TBI) and sexual assaults, states a 2008 study by the RAND Corporation. Approximately half have sought treatment from the VA.

According to the cover story of the September 2011 The American Legion magazine, “The War Within: the battle against post-traumatic stress,” today’s vets have benefitted from earlier vets’ experiences. Upon returning home, Viet Nam veterans rejected the diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia says Ken Jones, a veteran of that war. He says, “We don’t know what we are, but we aren’t that.” Back before PTS was understood, clinicians diagnosed many vets with paranoid schizophrenia due to their reported symptoms like flashbacks and hyper-vigilance that resembled schizophrenia’s diagnostic criteria of hallucinations and paranoia. Viet Nam era soldiers’ experiences brought PTS to the attention of the medical and research communities and has helped all sufferers of post-trauma stress.

What struck me from the article was a statement made by returning soldier’s wife, Melissa Seligman, when her husband described the aftermath of a suicide bombing he witnessed in Iraq. She said, “There’s something so horrible about somebody being so traumatized … (and) there’s no emotion attached.”

Imagine what the brain must do to detach so from the trauma.

I spoke about PTS with a dear friend, Dr. John Klebba, PhD, Physiological Psychology, a retired Naval Reserve Captain in Naval Intelligence. Jack participated in debriefing of prisoners of war from Viet Nam in 1973 so has first-hand experience with survivors of war trauma.


Dr. Klebba said, “I believe the essential aspect of treating PTSD is the rebuilding of self-confidence and security. Fear is a severe feeling of insecurity. After experiencing the traumas associated with combat those personnel afflicted with PTSD are sensitized to endocrine-neurologically over-react to almost any event they perceive as threatening their sense of security.

“The civilian aspects of coping (achieving security) involve good relationships with family, friends and co-workers. The more competently the PTSD person can handle these situations, the less fearful will be their life-space, and less often will the sympathetic (fight-or-flight) nervous system be called into play.

“In many cases there will be instances when the chimeras come storming back, so it is important that the PTSD person be given ‘go-to’ strategies such as whom to call (e.g., VA crisis line: 800-273-8255, press 1), Transcendental Meditation, physical exercise, etc. The more secure and the better they cope the less anxious, misbehaved or depressed they’ll be.”

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Transcendental Meditation can balance the PTSD brain
Do it twice a day to reduce stress
Stress for Success
September 6, 2011


If you suffer from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder due to repetitive childhood trauma and/or from serving in war zones would you be interested in significantly reducing your symptoms through a natural and free practice? Would it be worth developing this technique and practicing it daily?

Transcendental Meditation, T.M., is the technique I’m referring to. It was introduced by Maharishi Mahesh Yogii in 1957. Contrary to what some believe TM isn’t a religion nor based on any religious teaching requiring any particular set of beliefs.

Scores of independent scientific studies have established TM’s value. The Journal of Clinical Psychology in 1989, for example, compared the effectiveness of different relaxation techniques in lowering anxiety. TM was found to make the greatest difference. TM was found to help decrease depression, digestive problems, insomnia, psychosomatic disease, and reliance on smoking (for more information go to www.natural-healing-for-all.com).

It’s applicability to treating PTSD was established by University of CO neurophysiologist Dr. James Austin who documented through the fMRI how T.M. rewires brain circuitry for greater calmness that the trauma wired for anxiety. Also, a pilot study published in the June 2011 issue of Military Medicine found military veterans experienced a 50% reduction in PTSD symptoms after only eight weeks of practicing T.M.

To learn T.M.:
1. Choose a mantra, which is a sound, syllable, word or phrase on which to focus; e.g., “God is love,” “I’m relaxed.”
2. Get comfortable in a quiet place eliminating distractions like kids and telephones. To successfully meditate you must focus. You can lie or sit down.
3. Close your eyes and relax each separate part of your body starting with your feet, working to the top of your head. This becomes easier with practice.
4. Deepen your relaxation by breathing deeper and slower. Consciously inhale slowly and deeply; exhale slowly. Exhale more deeply than you inhale. Count your breaths: inhale to the count of six; hold your breath for four counts; exhale to nine, and hold again for four counts; do over and over. Notice your mind and body relaxing more and more.
5. Focus on your mantra. Repeat it softly for one minute. Each time say it more and more softly. Once you’ve said it as softly as you can, repeat your mantra only in your mind. Don’t force yourself to concentrate on it but feel it relax you. You may become easily distracted at first. If so, deep breathe and refocus on your mantra. Your focus will improve dramatically with practice.
6. Focus on feeling your connection to life itself, while continuing to mentally repeat your mantra for about twenty minutes. When distracting thoughts come to your mind, or if you forget your mantra, calmly allow it to come back and return to focus back on your mantra.

Return your attention to your surroundings naturally after twenty minutes. Always stretch before you get up.

If you suffer from PTSD practice TM twice daily for at least two months to see if it begins to diminish your symptoms. You have nothing to lose but stress.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Repetitive trauma rewires human brain
Vivid memories, hormones protect us from threats
Stress for Success
August 23, 2011


Those who’ve experienced repetitive trauma have probably experienced the re-wiring of their brains for survival purposes. This re-wiring can also cause great distress through Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD - symptoms like nightmares, panic attacks, depression, etc.

But why are some people more vulnerable to developing these symptoms than others who’ve gone through the same experiences, like war time trauma?

Here’s an abbreviated explanation, adapted from Pamela Wolf’s book, “Finding Balance after the War Zone,” minus the scientific terminology, to gain a better understanding of how the brain functions to protect you from threat.

The brain structures that regulate our stress reactions include the:
· Primitive “Reptilian Brain” stem;
· More recent limbic system or “Mammalian Brain”, especially the amygdala;
· Highest and most recently developed cerebral cortex;

The most powerful player is the amygdala, whose purpose is to protect us like a guard dog responding to threat. It stores unconscious emotional “flashbulb memories” and reacts to incoming stimuli by recalling memories that might be related. So a gunshot and a car backfiring can be perceived to be the same. When the amygdala receives signals that remind it of past threats, even if very different from previous threats, it recalls those memories as if they were happening now, releasing powerful hormones:
· Sympathetic nervous system’s (SNS) adrenaline, norepinephrine, etc., which are meant for vigorous exercise like the physical fight/flight in response to threat;
· Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) hormones like cortisol, oxytocin, etc.;

An important job of the brain is to create resiliency for bouncing back after stress by balancing the SNS and PSN chemical systems.

Our astonishing brains have also developed more sophisticated structures to help the primitive amygdala understand what’s really happening, to decide whether or not to release stress hormones, and when to stop by:
· Providing conscious, detailed memories of what happened in the past to put into perspective what’s happening now.
· Helping reason with the amygdala by working with other brain regions when the amygdala overreacts.
· Assessing the threat, weighing the options and consequences and coming up with a plan to calm the amygdala.

All of these are meant to facilitate handling present day stress, slow down reaction time to stress to allow for better problem-solving, and to self-soothe.

A problem for some PTSD sufferers however, is these higher brain regions that balance the reactive amygdala are developed during one’s brain growth-spurt in infancy, through loving caregivers who:
· Provide important receptive face-to-face contact;
· Demonstrate an understanding of our needs and feelings;
· Respond to our stress in soothing ways that in turn teach us to self-soothe;
· Validate the world is generally a safe place;

But if your trauma is childhood abuse you were less likely to experience this calming caregiving. According to Wolfe, over-development of the emotional sections of your brain and under-development of the higher brain functions can make you more vulnerable to developing PTSD symptoms. Next week we’ll consider ways to diminish those symptoms.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

PTSD likely the result of an overtaxed brain
Stress for Success
August 16, 2011


Those suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, experience many symptoms: flashbacks, nightmares, angry outbursts, depression, unemployment, homelessness, nightmares and panic attacks; all normal reactions to trauma, especially repetitive trauma.

Thanks to the recent explosion in brain research a greater understanding of PTSD is emerging along with promising treatments giving hope to its sufferers, whether military veterans, childhood abuse or violent crime survivors.

To better appreciate PTSD, it’s important to understand how the brain and body handle threats. We’ll look at this from a soldier’s point of view.

Pamela Wolf, author of “Finding Balance after the War Zone,” says a soldier’s neurological stress and survival systems keep him alert to protect him. But these systems were never meant to stay on high alert for weeks or months on end. Humans were designed to handle short-term stress, followed by periods of rest that allow our stress systems to return to balance. This balance of stress and rest protects us from illness, disease development and PTSD.

Heightened alertness for extended periods of time, whether from military redeployments or repetitive childhood abuse, inhibits the higher brain regions from regulating the amygdala, the primitive brain structure responsible for forming and storing memories associated with emotion. It’s the most powerful player in regulating stress reactions and protecting us from threats.

The amygdala is like your survival system’s guard dog. It’s always looking for threats, and when it perceives one it attacks first and asks questions later. When the amygdala is on high alert for months and months, it creates PTSD symptoms in some.

The amygdala stores unconscious pieces of memories like pictures, sounds, scents and feelings. When the brain’s relay system, the thalamus, sends the amygdala signals that remind it of past threats, even if these indicators are very different from earlier threats, the amygdala goes on the defense by bringing up those memories as if they were happening now, setting off the chemical fight/flight/freeze response.

Our bodies always strive for balance even with significant stress through allostasis— the process of achieving stability through physiological or behavioral change. It’s similar to extending out your arms leaning from side to side when trying to balance walking on a narrow plank.

The autonomic nervous system, which controls metabolism, heart rate, breathing, etc., strives for balance through its two “arms” that rise and fall in relation to the other:
· Sympathetic nervous system (SNS): speeds up our stress response processes like heart rate, breathing, metabolism, muscle tightening, energy, etc., to fight or flee from our temporary stress;
· Parasympathetic nervous system (PNS): attempts to keep us safe when we are helpless, and quiets down the SNS to return to physical balance;

These natural, automatic stress and survival systems protect us from threat, but when imbalanced from being on high alert too long can also cause great distress.

The return to physiological balance is what we need to do to protect ourselves from the ravages of stress. For suffers of PTSD, there are treatments that can help restore this healthier balance; more on this next week.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder help available
Stress for Success
August 9, 2011

My heart goes out to those who’ve experienced trauma, especially repetitive trauma, like soldiers after multiple deployments to Iraq and/or Afghanistan. The repetitive nature of war stress increases soldiers’ vulnerability to developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD.

Dr. Prakash Nagarkatti, University of South Carolina associate dean, says more than 35% of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans have received mental health diagnoses -- the most prevalent being PTSD. The latest military mental health survey found fewer than 46% seek help leaving untreated soldiers more vulnerable to unemployment, domestic abuse, divorce, homelessness and suicide.

According to Pamela Wolf, author of “Finding Balance after the War Zone,” post-deployment stress effects fall along continuums:
• From acute stress symptoms to chronic PTSD;
• From a mild loss of energy to major depression;
• From trouble at work to unemployment;
• From a few problems at home to divorce or domestic violence;
• From blowing off steam to serious problems with the law;
• From a few drinking binges to a fifth-a-day habit;

For those suffering from PTSD, regardless of the source of their trauma whether from war stress, violent crime or childhood abuse, during the days, weeks and months following the traumatic event(s) more serious stress symptoms surface. Reality sets in. They feel more alone, helpless and overwhelmed than before the event(s).

The following symptoms are normal reactions to abnormal events - and there is help. Symptoms last for a few days to several weeks or longer according to the DSM IV (diagnostic guide for clinicians) and include:
· Repeated and stressful dreams, thoughts or images of the stressor event;
· Flashbacks making it feel like the events are happening again;
· Physiological stress reactions, e.g., rapid heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, panic attacks;
· Mental reactions develop to cues that are reminders of the traumatic event;
· Avoidance of anything that triggers these reactions by:
o Avoiding feelings, thoughts or conversations about traumatic experiences;
o Avoiding activities, people or places that remind you of it;
o Having trouble recalling important aspects of it;
o Feeling detached or isolated from others;
o Restricting your ability to love or feel other strong emotions;
· Sufferers experience symptoms of post-trauma hyper-arousal like:
o Insomnia
o Angry outbursts or irritability
o Poor concentration
o Excessive vigilance
o Increased startle response

Wolf says PTSD sufferers’ stress systems respond to intense or unrelenting stress and thereby develop chemical imbalances. It’s common the sufferer instinctively attempts to self-medicate with alcohol, street drugs or misuse of prescription medications. When these drugs leave the person’s system, unconscious, trauma symptoms like stored memories emerge with possibly higher levels of intensity. Hiding or diminishing post-trauma symptoms may be easier than hiding the self-medication.

There is good news, too. PTSD need not be dire. New understanding of what causes it and new treatment options are expanding. Those suffering from PTSD can also be impressively resilient. They’ve accepted they aren’t weak or crazy. They’ve learned how the brain is structured and how it works to understand PTSD’s symptoms, my topic for next week.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Reduce job hunting stress
Stress for Success
July 12, 2011


There’s significant stress when under- or unemployed. You can’t eliminate all of it but you can manage much of it. Here are some considerations:
· Get your budget under control: What have you cut? Where can you cut more? What’s your Plan B if you don’t get a job soon: bring in renters to help with your mortgage? Move in with family until you’re back on your feet?
· Gain perspective: Ask yourself, “What’s the worst, best and most likely outcome of my situation?” Plan for the worst and hope for the best. Your answers could range from getting a job today to ending up on the streets.
· Be grateful for your options, like accepting public assistance or family loans.
· Create an employment file to avoid reinventing the wheel for every job application. Include the paperwork you’ll repetitively need: diplomas, certificates, and cover letter template that you customize for each submission.
· Stick to a disciplined schedule: It’s easy to become a depressed couch potato when out of work so schedule your days to instill discipline. Perhaps Mondays you’ll check opportunities on-line and follow-up on existing contacts, Tuesdays you’ll network, etc. Schedule breaks, too.
· Develop a job hunting plan: Don’t apply for every opening just to stay busy. Why go through unnecessary rejections with jobs you don’t fit? Instead, identify employers you’d like to work for and those for whom you’re qualified to work.

Next, set realistic, specific goals and time frames for contacting prospective employers. E.g., apply for at least three positions weekly, spend four hours daily networking and researching, update resume by this Friday, etc.
· Use a data base with its invaluable follow-up reminders to manage your contacts, results, follow-up, etc.
· Research the unlimited on-line information for likely interview questions, resume writing tips, etc.
· Rehearse interviewing with friends or family using plausible interview questions.
· Stand out from the crowd in this competitive environment: Be punctual, dress appropriately, use good grammar, etc.
· Update your skills for your area’s job market realities.
· Get help and network: Get a coach if you can afford one. Network with others in your industry to stay up on trends and opportunities. Volunteer to get the skills you need. Ask for help for any skills you lack from budgeting to interviewing.
· Seek a balance between making things happen and letting them happen. Avoid becoming obsessed with your job search. Balance it with recreation and time with family and friends. However, if you’re on a perpetual break, you need to put more energy into making your job search happen.
· Learn from each rejection. If someone else got the job, seek to understand why you didn’t. Learn from each “failed” interview to improve for your next.
· Protect your health by eating and sleeping well. Exercise daily and find humor in your circumstance to create emotional balance.

Job hunting is stressful enough. Manage what you can so your resilience will be greater for what you can’t control.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Perfectionism, procrastination, pessimism sabotage job hunts
Stress for Success
July 5, 2011


If you’re going through a stressful job search, I hope you allowed yourself to enjoy the holiday weekend and took time off to relax and renew. Now it’s back to the job of finding a job.

How much stress you face when unemployed is influenced by several factors, including:
· Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
· Are you mostly unflappable? Or do even small disappointments throw you off balance?
· Do you react to life circumstances with guilt or are you relatively free of this emotion?
· Were you an executive with a generous severance package or were you laid off without notice?
· Have you lived within your means or paycheck to paycheck?

These considerations contribute to the degree to which you feel out of control due to your job loss. The sense of losing control creates anxiety and prospective employers can smell insecurity a mile away.

Establishing greater personal control reduces anxiety, which allows your enthusiasm, self-confidence and composure to shine through. Reduced anxiety also helps you stand out from your competitors by positively influencing how you feel about and how you project yourself, like during interviews.

To reduce your anxiety, avoid these three traits:
· Perfectionism: Getting lost in making every detail of your updated resume or your job search tracking system perfect wastes time. Reduce how your perfectionism expresses itself. Only allow yourself to be “perfect” in areas that are very important to your job search.
· Procrastination: Putting off the undesirable, normal as it is, also causes anxiety. Perfectionism is often a method of procrastination. To minimize it write your specific job search goals along with the steps to achieve them with firm deadlines for each step. Assign your spouse, a friend or a coach to keep your toes to the fire to meet these deadlines. Be forgiving of yourself if you don’t meet a goal here or there. But if you miss most of your deadlines, you’re procrastinating.

For example, estimate how much time is required to apply for three jobs weekly then establish a firm schedule to accomplish this. If researching, contacting possible employers, sending out resumes and following up require four hours then set aside an untouchable four-hour time frame to get it done. The sooner in the week the better as it helps you feel better about your accomplishments, which can motivate you to apply for more jobs this week.
· Pessimism: It’s easy to feel down when you’re down. Counter all negative assumptions with real evidence – not just positivity. Counter “I’ll never get a job in this competitive market,” with reminding yourself of other jobs or assignments you’ve landed that were also competitive. Every time your mind goes to the negative, refresh your memory with your successes. Focus on your strengths, the benefits you offer a prospective employer and on what’s hopeful rather than your anxieties.

Tempering these traits reduces fear, which automatically increases personal control, leaving space for your hope and energy to expand.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Grief is natural after loss of job
Stress for Success
June 28, 2011


Have you lost a job during the Great Recession? Job loss is one of today’s most stressful experiences because it strikes at the very core of modern humans’ sense of survival.

Your job can represent much of your identity, meaning, as well as give your life structure. Losing it may hurt your self-esteem and confidence, disrupt your daily routine, and remove a significant part of your social network.

Here are five must-dos to help you through this stressful time.

1. Grief is your natural response to dramatic loss giving way to feelings of anger, fear, guilt, or depression. It’s important to acknowledge and face these normal feelings of loss.

One healthy way to grieve is to journal. It’s best to dump out your heart when you feel the most emotionally vulnerable; when your emotions are on the surface. Regular (daily) journaling releases your emotions, loosening their grip on you; you’ll find you obsess less.

Identify your repetitive and fearful thoughts. If they’re not helping you find another job, challenge them. If you call yourself a “loser” for having lost your job, challenge that by writing down as many of your life successes as you can think of. Get others to add to your list if you find it difficult.

2. If you’re holding on to your anger over being laid off, write your employer four letters you never send. Usually, the first letter is full of venom and hostility. Maybe your second letter will have a bit more understanding of why you were let go. Hopefully, your third and fourth letters allow you to move onto problem-solving and let go of your anger.

3. Accept your new reality. The sooner you do the sooner you’ll move on to replacing your income. Journaling and talking with others help do this making switching your focus from the past to the future easier.

4. Be kind to yourself. Let go of criticizing or blaming yourself, which dismantles your confidence when you need it the most. Knowing you’re not alone probably doesn’t help much but it can relieve you of some of your self-blaming.


5. Identify the lessons you need to learn from your experience and apply them to creating a more successful and secure future. So, if you spent excessively and didn’t save much during the good years, learn from this versus beating yourself up over it. Make a plan to live within your means not just now but for the rest of your life. Maybe your lesson is to work fewer hours and spend more time with family. Or to get the education you’ve always wanted.

For some it may turn out to be a golden opportunity to figure out what you really want to do professionally. It can motivate you to evaluate your life, to rethink your career goals, and rediscover what truly makes you happy.

Which lessons do you need to learn? Successfully moving through this difficult time can make you stronger if you apply what you’ve learned – no small accomplishment.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Best motivator for employees is greater control
Stress for Success
June 21, 2011

For years my husband kept a great customer service poster in his business office. It’s of Norman Rockwell painting a portrait of himself by looking at himself in a mirror. The caption reads, “Every job you do is a portrait of yourself.”

The portrait you paint of yourself through the quality of your efforts determines your self-esteem, which strongly determines your motivation.

Help your employees paint beautiful portraits of themselves and watch their motivation soar.

Supervisors and managers make or break an organization. Have you trained yours to encourage employee motivation? If not, it may be the main reason many of your employees walk out your door when the economy improves.

As tight as budgets are today management can still help create an environment that encourages individual motivation including:
· Generously giving out sincere recognition and appreciation
· Providing for professional growth opportunities

An even more important motivator is to increase worker control as much as possible. Increase their sense of being the author of their own actions, which leads to a sense of “personal causation.” This means the person feels in control of her life. She sees her efforts produce her desired outcomes all leading to greater intrinsic motivation.

Let’s look at its opposite: external control.

When a worker feels controlled by his boss, for example, it usually leads him to one of two reactions:
1. Compliance: doing what he’s told, which leads to alienation and disengagement because personal causation is lower.
2. Defiance: do the opposite of what’s expected; e.g., an employee’s reaction to a micro-managing boss is often passive aggressive, like sabotaging.

Neither of these dysfunctional reactions is good for productivity, innovation or employee retention. The less control a worker feels the lower his sense of personal causation, which creates more stress and the more compliant or defiant he becomes.

To foster greater autonomy in your employees give them more choice, therefore control. It’s a cost-effective - usually free - way to increase motivation. Consider these ideas:
· Micro-manage less (not at all is better);
· Improve delegation: describe your desired outcome and let the employee decide upon her own way of doing the job, with an appropriate amount of supervisory guidance, versus telling her how to do it. Personal causation could be much greater when allowed to figure out how to accomplish a job versus following directions.
· More involvement in problem solving and decision making where appropriate. Implement helpful employee ideas. Asking for their input then ignoring it only increases cynicism.
· Increase responsibility with the requisite training;
· Quick resolution of customer service problems to make workers’ jobs easier;
· Make work more interesting through cross training and job rotation;
· Make work more meaningful by showing how it fits into the organization’s larger mission and goals. Show how even mundane work contributes to the whole.
· Flextime for dealing with personal responsibilities;

Zig Ziglar once said, “Motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing. That’s why it’s recommended daily.”

What can you do daily to foster greater employee motivation?

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Fathers go through pregnancy too
Stress for Success
June 14, 2011


I was incredibly fortunate to have had a wonderfully loving, strong, father – who wasn’t even at my birth. He attended a high school basketball game that night. Being the sixth and final baby, it seems delivery had become old hat to him.

Times have changed, though. The big message for expectant fathers from Michele Hakakha, MD, award winning obstetrician/gynecologist in Beverly Hills, and Ari Brown, MD, FAAP, an Austin, TX pediatrician, children’s health expert for WebMD and advisor for Parents magazine: It's your pregnancy too.

Hakakha and Brown, coauthors of “Expecting 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Pregnancy” (Windsor Peak Press, 2010), wrote their book for both expectant moms and dads. It’s the only pregnancy guide written by two MDs who are moms, and part of the bestselling book series that includes Baby 411 and Toddler 411.

Expectant fathers are much more involved in pregnancy and childbirth today. In fact, some are so intertwined with the pregnancy they experience symptoms like weight gain, nausea, insomnia, and even labor pains, called Couvade Syndrome.

Here are seven tips for dads adapted from their book:
1. Mind your own baby bump. Are you eating for two along with your wife? Your wife will lose a lot of her weight automatically when she has the baby - you won't!
2. Take one for the team. Get your TdaP shot as well as seasonal flu and H1N1 vaccines to protect your precious cargo. Seventy percent of babies who get whooping cough are infected by immediate family members like you.
3. Baby yourself. Have you been to a physician lately? Studies show many men ages 25-45 don't even have primary care physicians. Get a checkup. Find out how your health is doing so you can be around for your growing child.
4. Mind your moods. Research shows that partners are not only at risk for gaining sympathy weight; they may also suffer postpartum depression. Seek help if you feel overwhelming sadness, lack of desire to be around family and friends, severe fatigue, or trouble eating or sleeping after delivery.
5. Prepare for a dry spell. There can't be intercourse for six weeks after the baby is born. But, barring any health issues, you and your wife can have sex up until the last day before she delivers. Sex does not trigger labor - that's an old wives' tale.
6. Engage in baby talk. Babies recognize their parents' voices from inside the womb. So sing Hank Williams songs, recite poetry, or chat with your unborn baby. When your baby is born, she or he will already know you.
7. Dads can nest too. Expectant dads often feel an overwhelming need during pregnancy to rev up the power tools. Paint, spackle, drill, and build to your heart's content, but avoid toxic materials and fumes in the baby's room.

Enjoy the experience of becoming a father and growing as a family. On your deathbed, it’s largely what matters.

And, Happy Father’s Day to all fathers.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Four tips to help conquer your procrastination
Stress for Success
June 7, 2011


In spite of our survival brains contributing to procrastination by living more in the moment to survive versus the future where goals reside, you can overcome your delaying habits. Timothy A. Pychyl, procrastination researcher at Ottawa's Carlton University suggests the following. Use his ideas in sequence since each follows on the previous one.

1. Neutralize the irrationality of human nature: Researcher Piers Steel, University of Calgary, has shown that humans are predictably illogical. We perceive future rewards as less important than the task at hand, especially if the present task is more pleasant. To counter this, use specific mental images of your future as though it were happening right now. For example, if you’ve put off saving for retirement imagine your detailed, limited retirement budget and how difficult it will be to live on it. Include inflation and the toll it takes on just getting by. Imagine perhaps having to make a choice between eating tonight and taking prescribed medication. You can’t afford both. How does this make you feel?

2. Call on emotional intelligence: When willpower fails, it’s often because short-term emotional needs become more important than long-term goals: Like procrastinating on anxiety-producing tasks by indulging in distractions thereby putting off your responsibility. The greater your emotional intelligence the more likely you can overcome this tendency by acknowledging your negative emotions but not giving in to them. Progress on goals provides the motivation for taking another step so just get started. The negative emotions will pass.

3. Reduce uncertainty and distractions: How meaningful your task is helps determine your ability to overcome inertia. The less meaningful the goal, the less likely you’ll get started. You’re most likely to procrastinate:
a. On undesirable tasks
b. When you’re uncertain how to proceed
c. When the task lacks structure

Along with making your task concrete (tip #1) you need to reduce the uncertainty about how to proceed. Planning is very important for movement. When it’s time to act you’ll also need to reduce distractions. Stop checking email, seek privacy as much as possible, and create an environment that supports your willpower and focus.

4. Cultivate your willpower: Much recent research shows that willpower is like a muscle. You can extinguish it more quickly than you might imagine. When you do, a very negative consequence is losing some ability to control your behavior. To strengthen your resolve and stay on task:
a. Identify a positive value that’s relevant to your task at hand. Values are wonderfully motivating. If you value independence you won’t want to depend upon anyone in retirement. Putting away more savings now would honor this value and strengthen your willpower.
b. Mindfulness: Awareness is the first step in self-control, so keeping focused attention on your retirement savings goal will help you procrastinate less by strengthening self-regulation.

Understandable as procrastination is, ultimately you must put your energy where your goals are. If you don’t attain them, make them smaller and easier to attain expanding your goals as you progress toward them.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Low tolerance for frustration leads to procrastination
Stress for Success
May 31, 2011


To successfully procrastinate use the sure-fire “yes-but” technique: "Yes I know that I need to get that done, but not now." It typically works wonderfully. "I'd love to apply for that job, but I'm probably not qualified." The yes indicates your interest in the job. The but is your excuse for not applying.

Are you a yes-buter? Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose DeWolf, authors of The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make, say a common reason you may procrastinate in uncomfortable situations is because you have a low tolerance for frustration. Since frustration is a fact of life you'll need to tolerate disagreeable circumstances better if you expect to overcome this very effective stalling practice.

Acknowledging the unpleasantness of your task can help. But don’t go overboard. If you exaggerate how distasteful the job is you’ll be right back into “yes-but.” Instead, consciously acknowledge the due date of your commitment and at minimum create a plan of action as described below.

To move forward change your “yes-but” to “yes-and.” Instead of, "I'd love to apply for that job, but I doubt I'm qualified", say "I'd love to apply for that job and I need to find out about the required qualifications." “Yes-but” gives you excuses. “Yes-and” shows you the steps you’ll need to take.

"Delay is the deadliest form of denial," C. Northcote Parkinson said. So when you hear yourself use the “yes-but” as an excuse for procrastination immediately do the following:
· Write your project’s goal, e.g., "To land this job."
· List all of the steps you’d need to take to get it, breaking them down
into bite-size pieces:
o Get the contact information for the organization for which you want to work.
o Find out the qualifications.
o If you meet them, fill out an application.
o Follow up with a phone call to the employer.
o Etc.
· Write down a deadline for each and every step.
· Commit to each step, one by one.

If you’re unwilling to follow through with these steps, you can decrease your stress by admitting to yourself that you have no intention of looking into this job. Being honest with yourself requires being conscious of your choices. “I choose not to pursue this job because I assume I’m not qualified.”

Staying conscious increases the likelihood that one day you’ll make a different choice. Perhaps you’ll even pursue a job you fear you’re not qualified for by throwing caution to the wind and researching whether or not you are.

Get out of the procrastination mode and instead focus on a starting point. Each time you hear yourself say “yes-but” stop and instead say “yes-and” to see what the implied required steps are so you can start your action plan. Often, overcoming procrastination is simply taking that first step.

Mao Tse-tung once said, "The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." Move toward your goal by taking one step at a time.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Active procrastinators: just get going
Stress for Success
May 24, 2011


"Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow." -- Mark Twain

Seriously, procrastination is a frustrating habit. Since it’s a learned one it can be overcome but only if you become conscious when you’re doing it.

If you’re a professional procrastinator you need to acknowledge when you say "later" you really don't mean it. Thousands of “laters” create thousands of opportunities lost. To stay conscious, when you say "later" follow up with, "Later to me means never. Do I really want to get this done or not?"

Also become very cognizant of your avoidance habits, which you’ve probably perfected to the point that you engage in them automatically and unconsciously whenever you face an unpleasant task. Keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions when you're delaying. Follow these steps:
· Choose something you procrastinate on regularly.
· Describe the activity you put off. Is it unpleasant, confusing, uncomfortable or threatening?
· Write what you’re thinking and feeling when you begin to delay. For instance, "I can’t concentrate enough right now." Continue to record what you say and/or what you do to prolong your postponement.
· Ask yourself why you're avoiding action. Is it a legitimate reason or just an excuse? Also answer, "What discomfort am I evading?" Usually your answer is based on some unfounded fear.
· What’s your outcome?

To get going try these ideas:
· Timothy A. Pychyl, of Ottawa's Carlton University, runs a procrastination research group and suggests, "Follow the 10-minute rule.” Acknowledge your desire to procrastinate then do the task for 10 minutes anyway. Initiating is the hardest step for chronic procrastinators. After working on it for 10 minutes decide whether to continue. Once you're involved, it's easy to stay with the task.
· If you have something to do, do it now or schedule it. If it's not worth the amount of time it takes to schedule, it's not going to get done later.
· For larger projects write out your goal and list each step you have to take to accomplish it. Schedule each step in your calendar.
· Invest your energy on the important and ignore the trivial.
· Don't demean yourself when you dally because it makes more likely you’ll continue procrastinating.
· Keep a next steps list for all projects with an estimate of how long it’ll take to accomplish each one. If you have 15 minutes, look over your lists for something you can get done in less than 15 minutes. This furthers your progress in bits and pieces, which is great for those who procrastinate.
· Put the task right in front of you to avoid “out of sight out of mind.”
· Public commitment: Tell someone what you’re working on and when you’ll have it finished.
· Reward yourself when you’ve completed it. Do something just for fun. Give yourself a mental complement.

For chronic procrastinators remember the most important thing to do is just start! So get going!

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Survival instincts may be cause of procrastination
Stress for Success
May 17, 2011


Do you repeatedly procrastinate? Do you wonder why you don’t just get on with it? If procrastination is a “gap between intention and action” what keeps you from putting your intention into action?

You’re in good company since virtually everyone procrastinates. But not everyone is a procrastinator. Those reporting they procrastinate swelled from only 5% in 1978, to 20 – 25% today based on two recent large studies by psychologist Joseph Ferrari of DePaul University.

Procrastination is impulsivity winning out over future rewards. This is probably why it’s on the increase: our modern world has limitless distractions too many TV channels, electronic games and Internet temptations. Referring to all of these amusements, University of Calgary psychologist Piers Steel speaking of procrastination says, “You couldn’t design a worse working environment if you tried.”

Historically, it was said procrastination was caused by perfectionism, fear of failure, and rebellion against overbearing parents that one has never outgrown. Then there were the thrill seekers who profess they work best under pressure and use procrastination to create that pressure.

Steel reviewed 553 studies of procrastination and concluded it has four related variables regarding your task:
1. Your confidence in your ability to do it;
2. Its value;
3. Your need for immediate gratification and sensitivity to its delay;
4. Impulsiveness;

He suggests about the task:
· The more confident you are, the less you’ll delay.
· Its value is determined by how much fun it will be and its meaning to you. The more fun or the more meaningful the less you’ll procrastinate.
· The need for instant gratification looks at both how much time will pass before you’re rewarded for doing the assignment and how badly you need a reward to work on it. You’re more likely to finish a job due next week if it results in an immediate reward. If the reward comes much later, dawdling increases.
· Impulsiveness is determined by how easily distracted you are. The more distractible you are, the more likely you are to procrastinate.
He created a formula to predict your procrastination likelihood: Your confidence multiplied by the task’s importance/fun, divided by how badly you need the reward for finishing it, multiplied by how easily distractible you are.

Impulsivity, he says, is the most important part of his equation. “There’s a huge correlation between procrastination and impulsivity … that has to do with evolution. Procrastination reflects the difficulty of coping with some aspects of modern society with hunter-gatherer brains because our forebears lived in a world without delay. For them … meat kept for three days and danger lurked around every corner. It was a very immediate environment. We learned to value the now much more than the later to survive.”

Without going into the details about the functioning of our survival brain, he says we do less well planning for the future, where goals exist. “So, a second piece of chocolate cake wins out over a trim figure down the road.”

Next week we’ll look at ideas to get going.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Excessive stress can end up in workplace violence
Stress for Success
May 10, 2011


Work shouldn’t be a scary place. But it is for many people. Unfortunately, America has the highest violent crime rate of any industrialized nation. On average 20 workers are murdered each week in the U. S. making homicide the second highest cause of workplace deaths and the leading cause for women. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that over two million Americans are affected by workplace violence annually.

What can you do to protect yourself? Be on the lookout for tell-tales signs that trouble is brewing.

Rich Cordivari, V-P of Learning and Development at Allied Barton Security Services, which provides security personnel, shares the following warning signs as originally reported in a 2004 USA Today analysis of deadly workplace violence incidents. Anyone exhibiting these traits may need help and you should notify someone in authority.

1. A normally prompt employee is excessively late or absent; or one who has consistently worked full days leaves work without authorization or gives frequent excuses for shortening the work day;
2. An experienced employee who requires increased supervision;
3. A classic warning sign of employee dissatisfaction is when a normally efficient and productive employee displays a sudden or dramatic drop in performance. Meet with her immediately to develop a plan of action.
4. Significant change in someone’s work habits;
5. Mounting signs of stress may signal trouble is brewing and is often a significant contributor to workplace violence: Like a normally safety-minded employee suddenly is involved in accidents or safety violations; or someone who has trouble focusing and concentrating. Notify the manager who can encourage him to get help.
6. A persistent change in attitude and behavior can be a red flag the person is having problems. Since you’re probably familiar with her personality you’re in a position to notice these changes.
7. A classic warning sign is when a person has a weapons fascination! Don’t ignore this. Report it.
8. Watch for changes in a person’s temperament when under the influence of drugs or alcohol because it’s often associated with violence in the workplace. Follow your organization’s procedure to identify and assist drug or alcohol abusers.
9. Another classic red flag easy to identify but usually ignored is when a person frequently uses excuses and blames others rather than takes personal responsibility for their own actions. A worker who engages in this behavior is typically signaling a need for assistance and may require counseling.

Don’t assume everyone who exhibits any of the behaviors is going to behave violently, however. Consider telling someone about your suspicions when:
· A colleague exhibits a noticeable change in any of the above behaviors;
· When the behavior is displayed constantly;
· Or when any of these behaviors are observed in combination;

These are just a few of the possible warning signs of possible workplace violence. As with any work related issue, report unusual behavior to a manager or someone who has the authority to take action instead of waiting until it’s too late.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Does volunteering protect you from the damage of stress?
Stress for Success
May 3, 2011


I know I admonish you to lower stress through a variety of ways like exercise (to which I can hear your collective eye-rolling), relaxing, etc. Regularly doing so protects you from the damage of excessive stress hormones.

There are other non-eye-rolling ways to reduce stress, too. Since National Volunteer Week is in April, let me suggest volunteering as a way to balance your stress.

Volunteering can be an especially rewarding stress break because it’s believed you release the hormone oxytocin when you connect and bond with people, which is believed to protect you from the ravages of stress. Plus, some believe it’s actually impossible to be depressed when you help someone.

I’ve personally volunteered at something all of my life: tutored inner-city kids in Spanish, served in the Peace Corps for over two years, sat on countless boards of directors, and helped the Red Cross after Hurricane Charley. For the past five years I’ve volunteered weekly at Healthpark as a cuddler working with premature babies and sing in and am now on the organizing board for the newly formed Symphonic Chorale of SW FL, formerly known as the SW FL Symphony Chorus.

Sure, some nights I’m exhausted and don’t want to go out and honor these commitments. But once there I realize these activities are my reward: the music we sing fills my heart in a way that nothing else can and the babies, well, they’re adorable little babies.

To reduce your stress, check out volunteer options such as:
· Volunteermatch.org: This matches up volunteer opportunities with over 70,000 nonprofit organizations;
· AmeriCorps: Each year, AmeriCorps offers opportunities for adults of all ages and backgrounds to serve through partnerships with local and national nonprofit groups. Members who complete service may be eligible for an education award of up to $4,725 to pay for college, graduate school, or to pay back qualified student loans. You receive a living allowance during your term of service;
· Points of Light Institute: a national nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to engaging more people and resources in solving serious social problems;
· The Red Cross: helps prepare communities for emergencies;
· SCORE: Senior Corps of Retired Executives is a nonprofit organization which provides small business counseling and training under a grant from the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA). SCORE members are successful, retired business men and women who volunteer their time to assist aspiring entrepreneurs and small business owners. There are SCORE chapters in every state. My husband and I had a wonderful SCORE counselor who helped us when we started my husband’s business. We met monthly and felt a commitment to him to have our homework done and to meet the goals we set with his help.
· Help a neighbor in need;

What better use of your spare time is there than to help others? Whether you’re a medical professional, attorney, retired businessperson or a stay-at-home parent, do your stress level and the world a favor; share your talents with those who need them.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.

Exercise can help improve your mental health
Stress for Success
April 26, 2011

Depressed? Anxious? Obsessive?

These conditions along with scores of physical conditions present yet one more reason to exercise. Research has long shown exercise to be an effective but under-prescribed treatment for mild to moderate depression and anxiety.

For some, getting out of bed feels overwhelming making exercise seem impossible. But the degree of mood improvement with regular exercise is so significant that many researchers believe it’s more effective than counseling and anti-depressants.

We’ve known for quite some time that exercise:
· Reduces stress, anxiety and depression;
· Boosts self-esteem;
· Improves sleep;
· Lowers blood pressure and strengthens your heart;
· Increases energy;
· Improves muscle tone and strength;
· Strengthens, builds bones;
· Reduces body fat;
· Makes you look and feel fit and healthy;

It’s not completely understood why exercise is so effective but it’s probably due to the reduction of cortisol, the stress hormone, and increased body temperature, which may have calming effects.

The psychological boosts from exercise seem due to endorphin releases, which interact with brain receptors that reduce your perception of pain. Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine, producing the “runners’ high” and typically accompanied by greater optimism.

Exercise is also a great substitute for the obsessive thinking that drives these difficult emotions. It burns up your fight/flight energy in a positive way while distracting you from obsessive thinking about how miserable life is.

To decide which exercise to do answer these WebMD published questions:
· Which physical activities do I enjoy?
· Do I prefer group or individual activities?
· Which program best fit my schedule?
· Do I have a physical condition that limits my choice?
· What are my goals? Weight loss? Muscle strengthening? Flexibility? Mood enhancement?

To ease your depressive symptoms work toward 20 to 30 minutes of exercise, three times a week; four or five times a week is even better.

But any amount of exercise is better than none and can prevent a relapse after treatment for depression. Kristin Vickers-Douglas, Ph.D., Mayo Clinic psychologist, says, “Small bouts of exercise may be a great way to a get started if it’s initially too difficult to do more.” If ten minutes is all you’ll do, then do ten minutes. Instead of beating yourself up for not doing more pat yourself on the back for starting then gradually increase to 30 minutes.

If you haven’t exercised for a long time, check with your physician. If you feel pain two hours after exercising, you probably overexerted yourself so decrease your activity level. Never ignore pain.

Finally, take advice from Dr. Mary Ann Chapman, “The key to breaking a bad habit (doing nothing) and adopting a good one (exercising)” is to:
Minimize the immediate reward of doing nothing (relief from successfully avoiding exercising);
Make the long-term negative consequences of not exercising (continued depression/anxiety/anger) seem more imminent;

In other words, instead of excuse after excuse to avoid exercise, remind yourself how exhausted you are of being emotionally stuck.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization. Register for Administrative Professionals Day, April 27, at 239-425-3273.

Effective treatment available for low-grade depression
Stress for Success
April 19, 2011


Every day looks gloomy. There isn’t much to enjoy. Feeling like a failure is all too familiar leading to a life of withdrawal and inactivity. With plenty to worry about sleep is elusive. Drugs and alcohol ease the pain. It seems that life has always been this way; it seems “normal.” Isn’t this how most people live?

No, it isn’t. If you see life this way you may be diagnosed with dysthymia, a milder but more continuing type of depression with continuous depressed mood for at least two years. It affects significantly more women than men.

For children, the duration is only one year. Kids’ major symptom may be irritability vs. depression. Since this on-going state of depression seems normal it usually goes undiagnosed, therefore untreated.

It’s typical dysthymia sufferers don’t seek help for a decade or longer, which is unfortunate since there is effective treatment. For children, being diagnosed early and getting treatment may help avoid more serious mood disorders, substance abuse and other painful school and relationship problems later.

It’s estimated that at any point, 3% of the population is affected by dysthymia. Those with immediate relatives who’ve had major depressive disorders are at greater risk. It usually develops early in one’s life although the person is unlikely to seek help unless she develops major depression (about 10% do).

The clinician’s guide to diagnosis, the DSM IV, states at least two of the following symptoms must also be present for this diagnosis:
· Overeating or lack of appetite;
· Sleeping too much or having difficulty sleeping;
· Fatigue, lack of energy;
· Poor self-esteem;
· Difficulty with concentration, decision-making;
· Hopelessness;

If this describes you most days, what can you do to feel better?
· Talk to a psychiatrist who may prescribe an anti-depressant. Anti-depressants can take weeks to have an effect and you may have to try several to find one that works well for you. It’s worth it, though, to discover that life can be much brighter and more enjoyable.
· Engage in a hobby that you enjoy and are good at. At first you may not have the energy but make yourself do it at least once a week. With time you’ll look forward to it.
· Volunteer regularly. Helping others works better at decreasing depression than almost anything. It takes your mind off your own troubles and helps you feel better about yourself and the world when you connect with others.
· Consult with your physician about getting regular exercise. Exercise at least 30 minutes 4 times/week if you want it to lift your mood.
· Eat nutritionally well.
· Avoid drugs and alcohol; both make depression worse.

Dysthymia is very treatable. The worst-case scenario is that it’ll be difficult to make yourself take better care of your moods. The best outcome is you’ll feel better and wonder what took you so long to address this seemingly “normal” condition. You deserve to feel better and you’re the only one who can make it happen.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Seek immediate professional help when suicidal Stress for Success April 5, 2011 Depressed people who are in imminent danger of committing suicide, which requires immediate help, often exhibit specific behaviors, says David Rudd, dean, college of social and behavioral science at the University of Utah. A Rudd chaired joint American Association of Suicidology and National Institutes of Health working group compiled a list of the most serious behaviors: · Putting affairs in order: e.g., changing a will; · Behaving recklessly: displaying a death wish by driving carelessly with escalation to show they’re serious; · Dramatic mood shifts: being extremely low to being anxious or agitated; · Discussing suicide: up to 85% of those who commit suicide told someone about their plans or communicated them in a poem or diary. Adolescents may even leave their journal out for someone to see; · Talking about feeling worthless: abuse victims especially feel hopeless and shameful; · Losing interest in life: emotional emptiness is a sign of escalating depression; Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) are an excellent and immediate source of help. I interviewed Judy Anderson, LMHC, CEAP, EAP Consultants, Inc., Fort Myers, about these services. Here are my questions and her edited answers. Q: Which signs of depression indicate a person should get help? A: Most notice their range of emotion narrows: less positive anticipation and happiness and more sadness, anxiety, irritability and loneliness. Nothing seems to feel good. Also: · Changes in sleep patterns: difficulty falling asleep and/or waking early, not getting back to sleep; · Decreased appetite, or increased appetite, especially for “comfort” food; · Difficulty concentrating; · Indecisiveness; · Distorted perspective: notice only losses, failures, and problems versus pleasure, peace, and happiness; · Thinking about dying or suicide; Q: What is an EAP and what do you offer? A: These are employer-offered services promoting employee wellness helping employees be more effective both at work and at home. They’re encouraged to use their EAP before their life suffers through: · Assistance identifying and resolving emotional struggles, marital and family problems, substance abuse, stress; · Referrals to local resources for help with legal questions, elder/child care and financial problems; Q: What are the costs? A: These services are provided, without accessing health insurance plans, at no cost to the employee, including no co-pay. Employers pay a small monthly fee per employee so services are available to any employee at any time. Q: Is it confidential? A: Yes. EAP counselors are licensed mental health providers and covered by confidentiality laws. It’s also confidential who accesses EAPs. Q: How many counseling sessions are involved? A: Depending on the employer, from 3 to as many as 8 or more. Q: Are there other non-counselor services? A: Workshops, support groups, classes, and books, websites or movies are sometimes recommended. Q: For those who don’t have an EAP, whom should they call for help? A: Local mental health center, Primary Care Physician for referrals, health insurance may cover counseling with preferred providers locally; spiritual advisor may offer counseling or support groups; Depression in lonely; don’t go through it alone. Please, reach out to someone. Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Depression can be treated Stress for Success March 29, 2011 Might your moodiness be clinical depression? Everyone feels “blue” at times but clinical depression runs more deeply. A diagnosis of depression requires the presence of one of two features for most of the day, nearly every day for two-weeks: · Depressed mood; · Loss of interest or pleasure in activities; Symptoms include: · Change in appetite and weight: You seldom feel hungry and may forget to eat. You have to force yourself to eat even a few bites. Preparing meals requires too much energy. Significant weight loss may occur. · Or an increase in appetite and weight gain; craving certain foods such as sweets or carbohydrates; · Trouble sleeping; · Or sleeping too much; · Overly agitated - difficulty sitting still, pacing and fidgeting; · Slowed down - sluggish movements, slumped while sitting, avert your eyes, speak slowly and sparsely in a monotone with low volume, pausing before responding to questions, slower thinking ; · Decreased energy, feeling tired and fatigued: Simple day-to-day tasks seem overwhelming. You may tire quickly in everything you do. Your work at home and at the office suffers. · Feeling worthless or guilty: You focus on past failures, personalize trivial events, see minor mistakes as proof that you’re inadequate. You blame yourself for all that goes wrong. You hate yourself and think you’re a bad person. · Thinking problems: Negative and pessimistic thoughts increase your belief that nothing can get better; trouble with thinking, concentrating or making decisions especially if your work is mentally challenging · Feeling sad, depressed, blue, empty, hopeless, helpless; Hopelessness is having a negative view of your future; an assumption that pain and unhappiness will continue. You’re quite sure your life won’t get better. Helplessness is a negative view of yourself; you lack self-confidence and believe it’s not possible to feel better. “What’s the use?” sums it up. Strong feelings of helplessness can lead to thoughts of suicide. If you contemplate suicide you should consult a professional immediately. Symptoms include: · Often on the edge of crying; · Depressed appearance (facial expressions, disposition); · Overly irritable; · Physical problems, especially chronic headaches, stomachaches, joint and back pain, indigestion, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome; The second feature of depression is a significant loss of interest or pleasure in most activities nearly every day for at least two-weeks. “I just don’t care anymore,” explains your feelings toward things you once enjoyed. Your detachment is noticeable to your friends and family, too. If you’re depressed, consider what I wrote last week: depressive symptoms may be a normal response to what’s wrong in your life and may facilitate you focusing like a laser beam on solving it. And get professional help (next week’s topic). With today’s treatments there’s simply no reason to go through life assuming it can be no better. Your depression may improve with no treatment, and it may return. The degree of hopelessness and helplessness determines whether or not you seek help. Sometimes it’s up to loved ones to get you the treatment you need and deserve. Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Depression can be treated
Stress for Success
March 22, 2011


Might your moodiness be clinical depression?

Everyone feels “blue” at times but clinical depression runs more deeply. A diagnosis of depression requires the presence of one of two features for most of the day, nearly every day for two-weeks:
· Depressed mood;
· Loss of interest or pleasure in activities;

Symptoms include:
· Change in appetite and weight: You seldom feel hungry and may forget to eat. You have to force yourself to eat even a few bites. Preparing meals requires too much energy. Significant weight loss may occur.
· Or an increase in appetite and weight gain; craving certain foods such as sweets or carbohydrates;
· Trouble sleeping;
· Or sleeping too much;
· Overly agitated - difficulty sitting still, pacing and fidgeting;
· Slowed down - sluggish movements, slumped while sitting, avert your eyes, speak slowly and sparsely in a monotone with low volume, pausing before responding to questions, slower thinking ;
· Decreased energy, feeling tired and fatigued: Simple day-to-day tasks seem overwhelming. You may tire quickly in everything you do. Your work at home and at the office suffers.
· Feeling worthless or guilty: You focus on past failures, personalize trivial events, see minor mistakes as proof that you’re inadequate. You blame yourself for all that goes wrong. You hate yourself and think you’re a bad person.
· Thinking problems: Negative and pessimistic thoughts increase your belief that nothing can get better; trouble with thinking, concentrating or making decisions especially if your work is mentally challenging
· Feeling sad, depressed, blue, empty, hopeless, helpless;

Hopelessness is having a negative view of your future; an assumption that pain and unhappiness will continue. You’re quite sure your life won’t get better.

Helplessness is a negative view of yourself; you lack self-confidence and believe it’s not possible to feel better. “What’s the use?” sums it up. Strong feelings of helplessness can lead to thoughts of suicide. If you contemplate suicide you should consult a professional immediately. Symptoms include:
· Often on the edge of crying;
· Depressed appearance (facial expressions, disposition);
· Overly irritable;
· Physical problems, especially chronic headaches, stomachaches, joint and back pain, indigestion, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome;

The second feature of depression is a significant loss of interest or pleasure in most activities nearly every day for at least two-weeks. “I just don’t care anymore,” explains your feelings toward things you once enjoyed. Your detachment is noticeable to your friends and family, too.

If you’re depressed, consider what I wrote last week: depressive symptoms may be a normal response to what’s wrong in your life and may facilitate you focusing like a laser beam on solving it.

And get professional help (next week’s topic). With today’s treatments there’s simply no reason to go through life assuming it can be no better. Your depression may improve with no treatment, and it may return. The degree of hopelessness and helplessness determines whether or not you seek help. Sometimes it’s up to loved ones to get you the treatment you need and deserve.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.