Fathers go through pregnancy too
Stress for Success
June 14, 2011


I was incredibly fortunate to have had a wonderfully loving, strong, father – who wasn’t even at my birth. He attended a high school basketball game that night. Being the sixth and final baby, it seems delivery had become old hat to him.

Times have changed, though. The big message for expectant fathers from Michele Hakakha, MD, award winning obstetrician/gynecologist in Beverly Hills, and Ari Brown, MD, FAAP, an Austin, TX pediatrician, children’s health expert for WebMD and advisor for Parents magazine: It's your pregnancy too.

Hakakha and Brown, coauthors of “Expecting 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Pregnancy” (Windsor Peak Press, 2010), wrote their book for both expectant moms and dads. It’s the only pregnancy guide written by two MDs who are moms, and part of the bestselling book series that includes Baby 411 and Toddler 411.

Expectant fathers are much more involved in pregnancy and childbirth today. In fact, some are so intertwined with the pregnancy they experience symptoms like weight gain, nausea, insomnia, and even labor pains, called Couvade Syndrome.

Here are seven tips for dads adapted from their book:
1. Mind your own baby bump. Are you eating for two along with your wife? Your wife will lose a lot of her weight automatically when she has the baby - you won't!
2. Take one for the team. Get your TdaP shot as well as seasonal flu and H1N1 vaccines to protect your precious cargo. Seventy percent of babies who get whooping cough are infected by immediate family members like you.
3. Baby yourself. Have you been to a physician lately? Studies show many men ages 25-45 don't even have primary care physicians. Get a checkup. Find out how your health is doing so you can be around for your growing child.
4. Mind your moods. Research shows that partners are not only at risk for gaining sympathy weight; they may also suffer postpartum depression. Seek help if you feel overwhelming sadness, lack of desire to be around family and friends, severe fatigue, or trouble eating or sleeping after delivery.
5. Prepare for a dry spell. There can't be intercourse for six weeks after the baby is born. But, barring any health issues, you and your wife can have sex up until the last day before she delivers. Sex does not trigger labor - that's an old wives' tale.
6. Engage in baby talk. Babies recognize their parents' voices from inside the womb. So sing Hank Williams songs, recite poetry, or chat with your unborn baby. When your baby is born, she or he will already know you.
7. Dads can nest too. Expectant dads often feel an overwhelming need during pregnancy to rev up the power tools. Paint, spackle, drill, and build to your heart's content, but avoid toxic materials and fumes in the baby's room.

Enjoy the experience of becoming a father and growing as a family. On your deathbed, it’s largely what matters.

And, Happy Father’s Day to all fathers.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.