Low tolerance for frustration leads to procrastination
Stress for Success
May 31, 2011


To successfully procrastinate use the sure-fire “yes-but” technique: "Yes I know that I need to get that done, but not now." It typically works wonderfully. "I'd love to apply for that job, but I'm probably not qualified." The yes indicates your interest in the job. The but is your excuse for not applying.

Are you a yes-buter? Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose DeWolf, authors of The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make, say a common reason you may procrastinate in uncomfortable situations is because you have a low tolerance for frustration. Since frustration is a fact of life you'll need to tolerate disagreeable circumstances better if you expect to overcome this very effective stalling practice.

Acknowledging the unpleasantness of your task can help. But don’t go overboard. If you exaggerate how distasteful the job is you’ll be right back into “yes-but.” Instead, consciously acknowledge the due date of your commitment and at minimum create a plan of action as described below.

To move forward change your “yes-but” to “yes-and.” Instead of, "I'd love to apply for that job, but I doubt I'm qualified", say "I'd love to apply for that job and I need to find out about the required qualifications." “Yes-but” gives you excuses. “Yes-and” shows you the steps you’ll need to take.

"Delay is the deadliest form of denial," C. Northcote Parkinson said. So when you hear yourself use the “yes-but” as an excuse for procrastination immediately do the following:
· Write your project’s goal, e.g., "To land this job."
· List all of the steps you’d need to take to get it, breaking them down
into bite-size pieces:
o Get the contact information for the organization for which you want to work.
o Find out the qualifications.
o If you meet them, fill out an application.
o Follow up with a phone call to the employer.
o Etc.
· Write down a deadline for each and every step.
· Commit to each step, one by one.

If you’re unwilling to follow through with these steps, you can decrease your stress by admitting to yourself that you have no intention of looking into this job. Being honest with yourself requires being conscious of your choices. “I choose not to pursue this job because I assume I’m not qualified.”

Staying conscious increases the likelihood that one day you’ll make a different choice. Perhaps you’ll even pursue a job you fear you’re not qualified for by throwing caution to the wind and researching whether or not you are.

Get out of the procrastination mode and instead focus on a starting point. Each time you hear yourself say “yes-but” stop and instead say “yes-and” to see what the implied required steps are so you can start your action plan. Often, overcoming procrastination is simply taking that first step.

Mao Tse-tung once said, "The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." Move toward your goal by taking one step at a time.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.