Problem-solve what you can control is important to health
Stress for Success
May 1, 2007


Stress management boils down to problem-solving; something’s stressing you so solve it, even if the only solution is to tolerate it. This is my Mind Management Truism - general rules that apply to all stress - #5: problem-solve on what’s within your control. (To read about the others click on “Jackie’s blog” at my web site.)

Before jumping into problem-solving, however, first figure out what regarding your stressor what’s within and what’s beyond your control (MMT #2). For example, your boss has delegated entirely too much work for the allotted time.
§ Beyond your control: her expectations, decisions, personality
§ Within your control: identifying your options, your reactions including emotional ones

Regarding the elements beyond your control is there something within your control that you can do about them? Your boss’s expectations are beyond your control but you could educate her on your responsibilities that make it impossible to get everything done within her timeframe.

Next, problem-solve on what’s within your control.

If it’s a small problem you’ll likely solve it automatically by routinely scanning for options. In the above example your options include:
§ Scramble to get everything done
§ Grumble to coworkers
§ Ask your boss to prioritize your work so if something doesn’t get done it’ll be something less important
§ Educate her on your workload, etc.
You then choose the best option to lower your stress.

If you’re not solving your problem quickly, go through the more structured problem-solving steps.

The first and most important step is to ask questions about your challenge. If you ask no questions your stressor tosses you around like clothes in a dryer; round and round. Ask no questions and you’ll find no answers.

In fact, Stanford University’s Rochelle Myers and Michael Ray (authors of Creativity in Business) say that the quality of your solutions is determined by the quality of your questions. If you haven’t solved a stressor it’s because you haven’t asked good enough questions.
Questions lead you. They lead to more questions, which lead to answers and eventually to solutions. They dig underneath symptoms to get closer to the underlying cause; the real problem.

Sometimes you don’t want to know an answer because it would demand that you do something uncomfortable. But your subconscious mind is fully aware of what you’re avoiding so you’re really dodging nothing. You’re in denial and your stressor is still bothering you. E.g., Denial allows you to conveniently think you’re sick because others are spreading a cold when actually you’re sick because the hidden stress is depressing your immune system.

Ask the questions about your stressor anyway. You don’t have to act on your answers immediately. Being consciously aware of them prepares you to act when you’re ready.

To get a great solution you’ve got to ask great questions. The only dumb question is the one you don’t ask. Ask the journalists’ questions about your stressors: who, what, when, where, why and how. Explore your answers, which may generate more questions, and eventually expose your solution.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., of InterAction Associates, is a trainer and a Stress Coach. E-mail her at www.jackieferguson.com with your questions or for information about her workshops on this and other topics and to invite her to speak to your organization.