Do more of what gives you pleasure
Stress for Success
May 15, 2007

On your deathbed how will you finish off this incomplete statement, “Gee, I wish I would have done more …?”

I bet your answer wasn’t work or clean your house more. You probably said you wished you’d traveled more or spent more time with your family.

Here’s a related challenge. Take thirty seconds and count on your fingers the number of things you do regularly, whether daily, weekly, monthly or even annually, that gives you pleasure, passion and/or joy. Go ahead. Count them up.

Some of you quickly list several enjoyable things you do regularly while others are scratching their heads coming up with nothing.

Your answers to these are telling you what you’d better get started doing now!

They’re also related to what Positive Psychology (PP) is all about.

Unlike traditional psychology which focuses on mental illness, PP focuses on mental health, on human strengths rather than weaknesses. It teaches you to nurture happiness by identifying and using your strengths and positive traits in your work and in your daily life vs. trying to “fix” your weaknesses and limitations.

By living your life according to your "signature strengths" you create more happiness and meaning, which buffers you against life’s misfortunes and negative emotions, and makes your life more positive. Pursuing what gives you pleasure, passion and/or joy requires the use of some of your signature strengths.

Unrelated research out of the University of Arizona found that retired people’s two biggest regrets were not being assertive enough and not taking more risks. Think of these answers in relation to doing that which gives you joy. Doesn’t it suggest that you’d better get going now and not wait until it’s too late?

So what gives you joy or pleasure? Is there something you used to do, like a sport or a hobby that you stopped when you started a new job or a family? Could you get back into that? You wouldn’t have to commit vast amounts of time to it; just a little for now.

Over the next couple of weeks, notice what you see and do that brings a smile to your face and a lightness to your heart. What makes you laugh out loud? What motivates you to get out of that TV chair? Which activities challenge your skills and strengths? Do more of these things.

Once you identify activities that please you the challenge is to make time for them; you may need to literally schedule them. The more you do these things, while still honoring your regular commitments, the lighter your heart becomes. The joy these activities bring you becomes the motivation to keep doing them.

Some of you think you’re too busy to do more of what you want or may feel guilty when you do. Again I ask, on your deathbed what will you say you wished you’d done more of? Do it now. Create the habit of increasingly doing what gives you pleasure, passion and/or joy so when you’re actually on your deathbed you’ll have no regrets.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., of InterAction Associates, is a trainer and a Stress Coach. E-mail her at www.jackieferguson.com with your questions or for information about her workshops on this and other topics and to invite her to speak to your organization.