Grief is natural after loss of job
Stress for Success
June 28, 2011
Have you lost a job during the Great Recession? Job loss is one of today’s most stressful experiences because it strikes at the very core of modern humans’ sense of survival.
Your job can represent much of your identity, meaning, as well as give your life structure. Losing it may hurt your self-esteem and confidence, disrupt your daily routine, and remove a significant part of your social network.
Here are five must-dos to help you through this stressful time.
1. Grief is your natural response to dramatic loss giving way to feelings of anger, fear, guilt, or depression. It’s important to acknowledge and face these normal feelings of loss.
One healthy way to grieve is to journal. It’s best to dump out your heart when you feel the most emotionally vulnerable; when your emotions are on the surface. Regular (daily) journaling releases your emotions, loosening their grip on you; you’ll find you obsess less.
Identify your repetitive and fearful thoughts. If they’re not helping you find another job, challenge them. If you call yourself a “loser” for having lost your job, challenge that by writing down as many of your life successes as you can think of. Get others to add to your list if you find it difficult.
2. If you’re holding on to your anger over being laid off, write your employer four letters you never send. Usually, the first letter is full of venom and hostility. Maybe your second letter will have a bit more understanding of why you were let go. Hopefully, your third and fourth letters allow you to move onto problem-solving and let go of your anger.
3. Accept your new reality. The sooner you do the sooner you’ll move on to replacing your income. Journaling and talking with others help do this making switching your focus from the past to the future easier.
4. Be kind to yourself. Let go of criticizing or blaming yourself, which dismantles your confidence when you need it the most. Knowing you’re not alone probably doesn’t help much but it can relieve you of some of your self-blaming.
5. Identify the lessons you need to learn from your experience and apply them to creating a more successful and secure future. So, if you spent excessively and didn’t save much during the good years, learn from this versus beating yourself up over it. Make a plan to live within your means not just now but for the rest of your life. Maybe your lesson is to work fewer hours and spend more time with family. Or to get the education you’ve always wanted.
For some it may turn out to be a golden opportunity to figure out what you really want to do professionally. It can motivate you to evaluate your life, to rethink your career goals, and rediscover what truly makes you happy.
Which lessons do you need to learn? Successfully moving through this difficult time can make you stronger if you apply what you’ve learned – no small accomplishment.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Best motivator for employees is greater control
Stress for Success
June 21, 2011
For years my husband kept a great customer service poster in his business office. It’s of Norman Rockwell painting a portrait of himself by looking at himself in a mirror. The caption reads, “Every job you do is a portrait of yourself.”
The portrait you paint of yourself through the quality of your efforts determines your self-esteem, which strongly determines your motivation.
Help your employees paint beautiful portraits of themselves and watch their motivation soar.
Supervisors and managers make or break an organization. Have you trained yours to encourage employee motivation? If not, it may be the main reason many of your employees walk out your door when the economy improves.
As tight as budgets are today management can still help create an environment that encourages individual motivation including:
· Generously giving out sincere recognition and appreciation
· Providing for professional growth opportunities
An even more important motivator is to increase worker control as much as possible. Increase their sense of being the author of their own actions, which leads to a sense of “personal causation.” This means the person feels in control of her life. She sees her efforts produce her desired outcomes all leading to greater intrinsic motivation.
Let’s look at its opposite: external control.
When a worker feels controlled by his boss, for example, it usually leads him to one of two reactions:
1. Compliance: doing what he’s told, which leads to alienation and disengagement because personal causation is lower.
2. Defiance: do the opposite of what’s expected; e.g., an employee’s reaction to a micro-managing boss is often passive aggressive, like sabotaging.
Neither of these dysfunctional reactions is good for productivity, innovation or employee retention. The less control a worker feels the lower his sense of personal causation, which creates more stress and the more compliant or defiant he becomes.
To foster greater autonomy in your employees give them more choice, therefore control. It’s a cost-effective - usually free - way to increase motivation. Consider these ideas:
· Micro-manage less (not at all is better);
· Improve delegation: describe your desired outcome and let the employee decide upon her own way of doing the job, with an appropriate amount of supervisory guidance, versus telling her how to do it. Personal causation could be much greater when allowed to figure out how to accomplish a job versus following directions.
· More involvement in problem solving and decision making where appropriate. Implement helpful employee ideas. Asking for their input then ignoring it only increases cynicism.
· Increase responsibility with the requisite training;
· Quick resolution of customer service problems to make workers’ jobs easier;
· Make work more interesting through cross training and job rotation;
· Make work more meaningful by showing how it fits into the organization’s larger mission and goals. Show how even mundane work contributes to the whole.
· Flextime for dealing with personal responsibilities;
Zig Ziglar once said, “Motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing. That’s why it’s recommended daily.”
What can you do daily to foster greater employee motivation?
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Stress for Success
June 21, 2011
For years my husband kept a great customer service poster in his business office. It’s of Norman Rockwell painting a portrait of himself by looking at himself in a mirror. The caption reads, “Every job you do is a portrait of yourself.”
The portrait you paint of yourself through the quality of your efforts determines your self-esteem, which strongly determines your motivation.
Help your employees paint beautiful portraits of themselves and watch their motivation soar.
Supervisors and managers make or break an organization. Have you trained yours to encourage employee motivation? If not, it may be the main reason many of your employees walk out your door when the economy improves.
As tight as budgets are today management can still help create an environment that encourages individual motivation including:
· Generously giving out sincere recognition and appreciation
· Providing for professional growth opportunities
An even more important motivator is to increase worker control as much as possible. Increase their sense of being the author of their own actions, which leads to a sense of “personal causation.” This means the person feels in control of her life. She sees her efforts produce her desired outcomes all leading to greater intrinsic motivation.
Let’s look at its opposite: external control.
When a worker feels controlled by his boss, for example, it usually leads him to one of two reactions:
1. Compliance: doing what he’s told, which leads to alienation and disengagement because personal causation is lower.
2. Defiance: do the opposite of what’s expected; e.g., an employee’s reaction to a micro-managing boss is often passive aggressive, like sabotaging.
Neither of these dysfunctional reactions is good for productivity, innovation or employee retention. The less control a worker feels the lower his sense of personal causation, which creates more stress and the more compliant or defiant he becomes.
To foster greater autonomy in your employees give them more choice, therefore control. It’s a cost-effective - usually free - way to increase motivation. Consider these ideas:
· Micro-manage less (not at all is better);
· Improve delegation: describe your desired outcome and let the employee decide upon her own way of doing the job, with an appropriate amount of supervisory guidance, versus telling her how to do it. Personal causation could be much greater when allowed to figure out how to accomplish a job versus following directions.
· More involvement in problem solving and decision making where appropriate. Implement helpful employee ideas. Asking for their input then ignoring it only increases cynicism.
· Increase responsibility with the requisite training;
· Quick resolution of customer service problems to make workers’ jobs easier;
· Make work more interesting through cross training and job rotation;
· Make work more meaningful by showing how it fits into the organization’s larger mission and goals. Show how even mundane work contributes to the whole.
· Flextime for dealing with personal responsibilities;
Zig Ziglar once said, “Motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing. That’s why it’s recommended daily.”
What can you do daily to foster greater employee motivation?
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Fathers go through pregnancy too
Stress for Success
June 14, 2011
I was incredibly fortunate to have had a wonderfully loving, strong, father – who wasn’t even at my birth. He attended a high school basketball game that night. Being the sixth and final baby, it seems delivery had become old hat to him.
Times have changed, though. The big message for expectant fathers from Michele Hakakha, MD, award winning obstetrician/gynecologist in Beverly Hills, and Ari Brown, MD, FAAP, an Austin, TX pediatrician, children’s health expert for WebMD and advisor for Parents magazine: It's your pregnancy too.
Hakakha and Brown, coauthors of “Expecting 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Pregnancy” (Windsor Peak Press, 2010), wrote their book for both expectant moms and dads. It’s the only pregnancy guide written by two MDs who are moms, and part of the bestselling book series that includes Baby 411 and Toddler 411.
Expectant fathers are much more involved in pregnancy and childbirth today. In fact, some are so intertwined with the pregnancy they experience symptoms like weight gain, nausea, insomnia, and even labor pains, called Couvade Syndrome.
Here are seven tips for dads adapted from their book:
1. Mind your own baby bump. Are you eating for two along with your wife? Your wife will lose a lot of her weight automatically when she has the baby - you won't!
2. Take one for the team. Get your TdaP shot as well as seasonal flu and H1N1 vaccines to protect your precious cargo. Seventy percent of babies who get whooping cough are infected by immediate family members like you.
3. Baby yourself. Have you been to a physician lately? Studies show many men ages 25-45 don't even have primary care physicians. Get a checkup. Find out how your health is doing so you can be around for your growing child.
4. Mind your moods. Research shows that partners are not only at risk for gaining sympathy weight; they may also suffer postpartum depression. Seek help if you feel overwhelming sadness, lack of desire to be around family and friends, severe fatigue, or trouble eating or sleeping after delivery.
5. Prepare for a dry spell. There can't be intercourse for six weeks after the baby is born. But, barring any health issues, you and your wife can have sex up until the last day before she delivers. Sex does not trigger labor - that's an old wives' tale.
6. Engage in baby talk. Babies recognize their parents' voices from inside the womb. So sing Hank Williams songs, recite poetry, or chat with your unborn baby. When your baby is born, she or he will already know you.
7. Dads can nest too. Expectant dads often feel an overwhelming need during pregnancy to rev up the power tools. Paint, spackle, drill, and build to your heart's content, but avoid toxic materials and fumes in the baby's room.
Enjoy the experience of becoming a father and growing as a family. On your deathbed, it’s largely what matters.
And, Happy Father’s Day to all fathers.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Stress for Success
June 14, 2011
I was incredibly fortunate to have had a wonderfully loving, strong, father – who wasn’t even at my birth. He attended a high school basketball game that night. Being the sixth and final baby, it seems delivery had become old hat to him.
Times have changed, though. The big message for expectant fathers from Michele Hakakha, MD, award winning obstetrician/gynecologist in Beverly Hills, and Ari Brown, MD, FAAP, an Austin, TX pediatrician, children’s health expert for WebMD and advisor for Parents magazine: It's your pregnancy too.
Hakakha and Brown, coauthors of “Expecting 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Pregnancy” (Windsor Peak Press, 2010), wrote their book for both expectant moms and dads. It’s the only pregnancy guide written by two MDs who are moms, and part of the bestselling book series that includes Baby 411 and Toddler 411.
Expectant fathers are much more involved in pregnancy and childbirth today. In fact, some are so intertwined with the pregnancy they experience symptoms like weight gain, nausea, insomnia, and even labor pains, called Couvade Syndrome.
Here are seven tips for dads adapted from their book:
1. Mind your own baby bump. Are you eating for two along with your wife? Your wife will lose a lot of her weight automatically when she has the baby - you won't!
2. Take one for the team. Get your TdaP shot as well as seasonal flu and H1N1 vaccines to protect your precious cargo. Seventy percent of babies who get whooping cough are infected by immediate family members like you.
3. Baby yourself. Have you been to a physician lately? Studies show many men ages 25-45 don't even have primary care physicians. Get a checkup. Find out how your health is doing so you can be around for your growing child.
4. Mind your moods. Research shows that partners are not only at risk for gaining sympathy weight; they may also suffer postpartum depression. Seek help if you feel overwhelming sadness, lack of desire to be around family and friends, severe fatigue, or trouble eating or sleeping after delivery.
5. Prepare for a dry spell. There can't be intercourse for six weeks after the baby is born. But, barring any health issues, you and your wife can have sex up until the last day before she delivers. Sex does not trigger labor - that's an old wives' tale.
6. Engage in baby talk. Babies recognize their parents' voices from inside the womb. So sing Hank Williams songs, recite poetry, or chat with your unborn baby. When your baby is born, she or he will already know you.
7. Dads can nest too. Expectant dads often feel an overwhelming need during pregnancy to rev up the power tools. Paint, spackle, drill, and build to your heart's content, but avoid toxic materials and fumes in the baby's room.
Enjoy the experience of becoming a father and growing as a family. On your deathbed, it’s largely what matters.
And, Happy Father’s Day to all fathers.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Four tips to help conquer your procrastination
Stress for Success
June 7, 2011
In spite of our survival brains contributing to procrastination by living more in the moment to survive versus the future where goals reside, you can overcome your delaying habits. Timothy A. Pychyl, procrastination researcher at Ottawa's Carlton University suggests the following. Use his ideas in sequence since each follows on the previous one.
1. Neutralize the irrationality of human nature: Researcher Piers Steel, University of Calgary, has shown that humans are predictably illogical. We perceive future rewards as less important than the task at hand, especially if the present task is more pleasant. To counter this, use specific mental images of your future as though it were happening right now. For example, if you’ve put off saving for retirement imagine your detailed, limited retirement budget and how difficult it will be to live on it. Include inflation and the toll it takes on just getting by. Imagine perhaps having to make a choice between eating tonight and taking prescribed medication. You can’t afford both. How does this make you feel?
2. Call on emotional intelligence: When willpower fails, it’s often because short-term emotional needs become more important than long-term goals: Like procrastinating on anxiety-producing tasks by indulging in distractions thereby putting off your responsibility. The greater your emotional intelligence the more likely you can overcome this tendency by acknowledging your negative emotions but not giving in to them. Progress on goals provides the motivation for taking another step so just get started. The negative emotions will pass.
3. Reduce uncertainty and distractions: How meaningful your task is helps determine your ability to overcome inertia. The less meaningful the goal, the less likely you’ll get started. You’re most likely to procrastinate:
a. On undesirable tasks
b. When you’re uncertain how to proceed
c. When the task lacks structure
Along with making your task concrete (tip #1) you need to reduce the uncertainty about how to proceed. Planning is very important for movement. When it’s time to act you’ll also need to reduce distractions. Stop checking email, seek privacy as much as possible, and create an environment that supports your willpower and focus.
4. Cultivate your willpower: Much recent research shows that willpower is like a muscle. You can extinguish it more quickly than you might imagine. When you do, a very negative consequence is losing some ability to control your behavior. To strengthen your resolve and stay on task:
a. Identify a positive value that’s relevant to your task at hand. Values are wonderfully motivating. If you value independence you won’t want to depend upon anyone in retirement. Putting away more savings now would honor this value and strengthen your willpower.
b. Mindfulness: Awareness is the first step in self-control, so keeping focused attention on your retirement savings goal will help you procrastinate less by strengthening self-regulation.
Understandable as procrastination is, ultimately you must put your energy where your goals are. If you don’t attain them, make them smaller and easier to attain expanding your goals as you progress toward them.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Stress for Success
June 7, 2011
In spite of our survival brains contributing to procrastination by living more in the moment to survive versus the future where goals reside, you can overcome your delaying habits. Timothy A. Pychyl, procrastination researcher at Ottawa's Carlton University suggests the following. Use his ideas in sequence since each follows on the previous one.
1. Neutralize the irrationality of human nature: Researcher Piers Steel, University of Calgary, has shown that humans are predictably illogical. We perceive future rewards as less important than the task at hand, especially if the present task is more pleasant. To counter this, use specific mental images of your future as though it were happening right now. For example, if you’ve put off saving for retirement imagine your detailed, limited retirement budget and how difficult it will be to live on it. Include inflation and the toll it takes on just getting by. Imagine perhaps having to make a choice between eating tonight and taking prescribed medication. You can’t afford both. How does this make you feel?
2. Call on emotional intelligence: When willpower fails, it’s often because short-term emotional needs become more important than long-term goals: Like procrastinating on anxiety-producing tasks by indulging in distractions thereby putting off your responsibility. The greater your emotional intelligence the more likely you can overcome this tendency by acknowledging your negative emotions but not giving in to them. Progress on goals provides the motivation for taking another step so just get started. The negative emotions will pass.
3. Reduce uncertainty and distractions: How meaningful your task is helps determine your ability to overcome inertia. The less meaningful the goal, the less likely you’ll get started. You’re most likely to procrastinate:
a. On undesirable tasks
b. When you’re uncertain how to proceed
c. When the task lacks structure
Along with making your task concrete (tip #1) you need to reduce the uncertainty about how to proceed. Planning is very important for movement. When it’s time to act you’ll also need to reduce distractions. Stop checking email, seek privacy as much as possible, and create an environment that supports your willpower and focus.
4. Cultivate your willpower: Much recent research shows that willpower is like a muscle. You can extinguish it more quickly than you might imagine. When you do, a very negative consequence is losing some ability to control your behavior. To strengthen your resolve and stay on task:
a. Identify a positive value that’s relevant to your task at hand. Values are wonderfully motivating. If you value independence you won’t want to depend upon anyone in retirement. Putting away more savings now would honor this value and strengthen your willpower.
b. Mindfulness: Awareness is the first step in self-control, so keeping focused attention on your retirement savings goal will help you procrastinate less by strengthening self-regulation.
Understandable as procrastination is, ultimately you must put your energy where your goals are. If you don’t attain them, make them smaller and easier to attain expanding your goals as you progress toward them.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Low tolerance for frustration leads to procrastination
Stress for Success
May 31, 2011
To successfully procrastinate use the sure-fire “yes-but” technique: "Yes I know that I need to get that done, but not now." It typically works wonderfully. "I'd love to apply for that job, but I'm probably not qualified." The yes indicates your interest in the job. The but is your excuse for not applying.
Are you a yes-buter? Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose DeWolf, authors of The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make, say a common reason you may procrastinate in uncomfortable situations is because you have a low tolerance for frustration. Since frustration is a fact of life you'll need to tolerate disagreeable circumstances better if you expect to overcome this very effective stalling practice.
Acknowledging the unpleasantness of your task can help. But don’t go overboard. If you exaggerate how distasteful the job is you’ll be right back into “yes-but.” Instead, consciously acknowledge the due date of your commitment and at minimum create a plan of action as described below.
To move forward change your “yes-but” to “yes-and.” Instead of, "I'd love to apply for that job, but I doubt I'm qualified", say "I'd love to apply for that job and I need to find out about the required qualifications." “Yes-but” gives you excuses. “Yes-and” shows you the steps you’ll need to take.
"Delay is the deadliest form of denial," C. Northcote Parkinson said. So when you hear yourself use the “yes-but” as an excuse for procrastination immediately do the following:
· Write your project’s goal, e.g., "To land this job."
· List all of the steps you’d need to take to get it, breaking them down
into bite-size pieces:
o Get the contact information for the organization for which you want to work.
o Find out the qualifications.
o If you meet them, fill out an application.
o Follow up with a phone call to the employer.
o Etc.
· Write down a deadline for each and every step.
· Commit to each step, one by one.
If you’re unwilling to follow through with these steps, you can decrease your stress by admitting to yourself that you have no intention of looking into this job. Being honest with yourself requires being conscious of your choices. “I choose not to pursue this job because I assume I’m not qualified.”
Staying conscious increases the likelihood that one day you’ll make a different choice. Perhaps you’ll even pursue a job you fear you’re not qualified for by throwing caution to the wind and researching whether or not you are.
Get out of the procrastination mode and instead focus on a starting point. Each time you hear yourself say “yes-but” stop and instead say “yes-and” to see what the implied required steps are so you can start your action plan. Often, overcoming procrastination is simply taking that first step.
Mao Tse-tung once said, "The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." Move toward your goal by taking one step at a time.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Stress for Success
May 31, 2011
To successfully procrastinate use the sure-fire “yes-but” technique: "Yes I know that I need to get that done, but not now." It typically works wonderfully. "I'd love to apply for that job, but I'm probably not qualified." The yes indicates your interest in the job. The but is your excuse for not applying.
Are you a yes-buter? Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose DeWolf, authors of The 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make, say a common reason you may procrastinate in uncomfortable situations is because you have a low tolerance for frustration. Since frustration is a fact of life you'll need to tolerate disagreeable circumstances better if you expect to overcome this very effective stalling practice.
Acknowledging the unpleasantness of your task can help. But don’t go overboard. If you exaggerate how distasteful the job is you’ll be right back into “yes-but.” Instead, consciously acknowledge the due date of your commitment and at minimum create a plan of action as described below.
To move forward change your “yes-but” to “yes-and.” Instead of, "I'd love to apply for that job, but I doubt I'm qualified", say "I'd love to apply for that job and I need to find out about the required qualifications." “Yes-but” gives you excuses. “Yes-and” shows you the steps you’ll need to take.
"Delay is the deadliest form of denial," C. Northcote Parkinson said. So when you hear yourself use the “yes-but” as an excuse for procrastination immediately do the following:
· Write your project’s goal, e.g., "To land this job."
· List all of the steps you’d need to take to get it, breaking them down
into bite-size pieces:
o Get the contact information for the organization for which you want to work.
o Find out the qualifications.
o If you meet them, fill out an application.
o Follow up with a phone call to the employer.
o Etc.
· Write down a deadline for each and every step.
· Commit to each step, one by one.
If you’re unwilling to follow through with these steps, you can decrease your stress by admitting to yourself that you have no intention of looking into this job. Being honest with yourself requires being conscious of your choices. “I choose not to pursue this job because I assume I’m not qualified.”
Staying conscious increases the likelihood that one day you’ll make a different choice. Perhaps you’ll even pursue a job you fear you’re not qualified for by throwing caution to the wind and researching whether or not you are.
Get out of the procrastination mode and instead focus on a starting point. Each time you hear yourself say “yes-but” stop and instead say “yes-and” to see what the implied required steps are so you can start your action plan. Often, overcoming procrastination is simply taking that first step.
Mao Tse-tung once said, "The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." Move toward your goal by taking one step at a time.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Active procrastinators: just get going
Stress for Success
May 24, 2011
"Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow." -- Mark Twain
Seriously, procrastination is a frustrating habit. Since it’s a learned one it can be overcome but only if you become conscious when you’re doing it.
If you’re a professional procrastinator you need to acknowledge when you say "later" you really don't mean it. Thousands of “laters” create thousands of opportunities lost. To stay conscious, when you say "later" follow up with, "Later to me means never. Do I really want to get this done or not?"
Also become very cognizant of your avoidance habits, which you’ve probably perfected to the point that you engage in them automatically and unconsciously whenever you face an unpleasant task. Keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions when you're delaying. Follow these steps:
· Choose something you procrastinate on regularly.
· Describe the activity you put off. Is it unpleasant, confusing, uncomfortable or threatening?
· Write what you’re thinking and feeling when you begin to delay. For instance, "I can’t concentrate enough right now." Continue to record what you say and/or what you do to prolong your postponement.
· Ask yourself why you're avoiding action. Is it a legitimate reason or just an excuse? Also answer, "What discomfort am I evading?" Usually your answer is based on some unfounded fear.
· What’s your outcome?
To get going try these ideas:
· Timothy A. Pychyl, of Ottawa's Carlton University, runs a procrastination research group and suggests, "Follow the 10-minute rule.” Acknowledge your desire to procrastinate then do the task for 10 minutes anyway. Initiating is the hardest step for chronic procrastinators. After working on it for 10 minutes decide whether to continue. Once you're involved, it's easy to stay with the task.
· If you have something to do, do it now or schedule it. If it's not worth the amount of time it takes to schedule, it's not going to get done later.
· For larger projects write out your goal and list each step you have to take to accomplish it. Schedule each step in your calendar.
· Invest your energy on the important and ignore the trivial.
· Don't demean yourself when you dally because it makes more likely you’ll continue procrastinating.
· Keep a next steps list for all projects with an estimate of how long it’ll take to accomplish each one. If you have 15 minutes, look over your lists for something you can get done in less than 15 minutes. This furthers your progress in bits and pieces, which is great for those who procrastinate.
· Put the task right in front of you to avoid “out of sight out of mind.”
· Public commitment: Tell someone what you’re working on and when you’ll have it finished.
· Reward yourself when you’ve completed it. Do something just for fun. Give yourself a mental complement.
For chronic procrastinators remember the most important thing to do is just start! So get going!
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Stress for Success
May 24, 2011
"Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow." -- Mark Twain
Seriously, procrastination is a frustrating habit. Since it’s a learned one it can be overcome but only if you become conscious when you’re doing it.
If you’re a professional procrastinator you need to acknowledge when you say "later" you really don't mean it. Thousands of “laters” create thousands of opportunities lost. To stay conscious, when you say "later" follow up with, "Later to me means never. Do I really want to get this done or not?"
Also become very cognizant of your avoidance habits, which you’ve probably perfected to the point that you engage in them automatically and unconsciously whenever you face an unpleasant task. Keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions when you're delaying. Follow these steps:
· Choose something you procrastinate on regularly.
· Describe the activity you put off. Is it unpleasant, confusing, uncomfortable or threatening?
· Write what you’re thinking and feeling when you begin to delay. For instance, "I can’t concentrate enough right now." Continue to record what you say and/or what you do to prolong your postponement.
· Ask yourself why you're avoiding action. Is it a legitimate reason or just an excuse? Also answer, "What discomfort am I evading?" Usually your answer is based on some unfounded fear.
· What’s your outcome?
To get going try these ideas:
· Timothy A. Pychyl, of Ottawa's Carlton University, runs a procrastination research group and suggests, "Follow the 10-minute rule.” Acknowledge your desire to procrastinate then do the task for 10 minutes anyway. Initiating is the hardest step for chronic procrastinators. After working on it for 10 minutes decide whether to continue. Once you're involved, it's easy to stay with the task.
· If you have something to do, do it now or schedule it. If it's not worth the amount of time it takes to schedule, it's not going to get done later.
· For larger projects write out your goal and list each step you have to take to accomplish it. Schedule each step in your calendar.
· Invest your energy on the important and ignore the trivial.
· Don't demean yourself when you dally because it makes more likely you’ll continue procrastinating.
· Keep a next steps list for all projects with an estimate of how long it’ll take to accomplish each one. If you have 15 minutes, look over your lists for something you can get done in less than 15 minutes. This furthers your progress in bits and pieces, which is great for those who procrastinate.
· Put the task right in front of you to avoid “out of sight out of mind.”
· Public commitment: Tell someone what you’re working on and when you’ll have it finished.
· Reward yourself when you’ve completed it. Do something just for fun. Give yourself a mental complement.
For chronic procrastinators remember the most important thing to do is just start! So get going!
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Survival instincts may be cause of procrastination
Stress for Success
May 17, 2011
Do you repeatedly procrastinate? Do you wonder why you don’t just get on with it? If procrastination is a “gap between intention and action” what keeps you from putting your intention into action?
You’re in good company since virtually everyone procrastinates. But not everyone is a procrastinator. Those reporting they procrastinate swelled from only 5% in 1978, to 20 – 25% today based on two recent large studies by psychologist Joseph Ferrari of DePaul University.
Procrastination is impulsivity winning out over future rewards. This is probably why it’s on the increase: our modern world has limitless distractions too many TV channels, electronic games and Internet temptations. Referring to all of these amusements, University of Calgary psychologist Piers Steel speaking of procrastination says, “You couldn’t design a worse working environment if you tried.”
Historically, it was said procrastination was caused by perfectionism, fear of failure, and rebellion against overbearing parents that one has never outgrown. Then there were the thrill seekers who profess they work best under pressure and use procrastination to create that pressure.
Steel reviewed 553 studies of procrastination and concluded it has four related variables regarding your task:
1. Your confidence in your ability to do it;
2. Its value;
3. Your need for immediate gratification and sensitivity to its delay;
4. Impulsiveness;
He suggests about the task:
· The more confident you are, the less you’ll delay.
· Its value is determined by how much fun it will be and its meaning to you. The more fun or the more meaningful the less you’ll procrastinate.
· The need for instant gratification looks at both how much time will pass before you’re rewarded for doing the assignment and how badly you need a reward to work on it. You’re more likely to finish a job due next week if it results in an immediate reward. If the reward comes much later, dawdling increases.
· Impulsiveness is determined by how easily distracted you are. The more distractible you are, the more likely you are to procrastinate.
He created a formula to predict your procrastination likelihood: Your confidence multiplied by the task’s importance/fun, divided by how badly you need the reward for finishing it, multiplied by how easily distractible you are.
Impulsivity, he says, is the most important part of his equation. “There’s a huge correlation between procrastination and impulsivity … that has to do with evolution. Procrastination reflects the difficulty of coping with some aspects of modern society with hunter-gatherer brains because our forebears lived in a world without delay. For them … meat kept for three days and danger lurked around every corner. It was a very immediate environment. We learned to value the now much more than the later to survive.”
Without going into the details about the functioning of our survival brain, he says we do less well planning for the future, where goals exist. “So, a second piece of chocolate cake wins out over a trim figure down the road.”
Next week we’ll look at ideas to get going.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Stress for Success
May 17, 2011
Do you repeatedly procrastinate? Do you wonder why you don’t just get on with it? If procrastination is a “gap between intention and action” what keeps you from putting your intention into action?
You’re in good company since virtually everyone procrastinates. But not everyone is a procrastinator. Those reporting they procrastinate swelled from only 5% in 1978, to 20 – 25% today based on two recent large studies by psychologist Joseph Ferrari of DePaul University.
Procrastination is impulsivity winning out over future rewards. This is probably why it’s on the increase: our modern world has limitless distractions too many TV channels, electronic games and Internet temptations. Referring to all of these amusements, University of Calgary psychologist Piers Steel speaking of procrastination says, “You couldn’t design a worse working environment if you tried.”
Historically, it was said procrastination was caused by perfectionism, fear of failure, and rebellion against overbearing parents that one has never outgrown. Then there were the thrill seekers who profess they work best under pressure and use procrastination to create that pressure.
Steel reviewed 553 studies of procrastination and concluded it has four related variables regarding your task:
1. Your confidence in your ability to do it;
2. Its value;
3. Your need for immediate gratification and sensitivity to its delay;
4. Impulsiveness;
He suggests about the task:
· The more confident you are, the less you’ll delay.
· Its value is determined by how much fun it will be and its meaning to you. The more fun or the more meaningful the less you’ll procrastinate.
· The need for instant gratification looks at both how much time will pass before you’re rewarded for doing the assignment and how badly you need a reward to work on it. You’re more likely to finish a job due next week if it results in an immediate reward. If the reward comes much later, dawdling increases.
· Impulsiveness is determined by how easily distracted you are. The more distractible you are, the more likely you are to procrastinate.
He created a formula to predict your procrastination likelihood: Your confidence multiplied by the task’s importance/fun, divided by how badly you need the reward for finishing it, multiplied by how easily distractible you are.
Impulsivity, he says, is the most important part of his equation. “There’s a huge correlation between procrastination and impulsivity … that has to do with evolution. Procrastination reflects the difficulty of coping with some aspects of modern society with hunter-gatherer brains because our forebears lived in a world without delay. For them … meat kept for three days and danger lurked around every corner. It was a very immediate environment. We learned to value the now much more than the later to survive.”
Without going into the details about the functioning of our survival brain, he says we do less well planning for the future, where goals exist. “So, a second piece of chocolate cake wins out over a trim figure down the road.”
Next week we’ll look at ideas to get going.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Excessive stress can end up in workplace violence
Stress for Success
May 10, 2011
Work shouldn’t be a scary place. But it is for many people. Unfortunately, America has the highest violent crime rate of any industrialized nation. On average 20 workers are murdered each week in the U. S. making homicide the second highest cause of workplace deaths and the leading cause for women. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that over two million Americans are affected by workplace violence annually.
What can you do to protect yourself? Be on the lookout for tell-tales signs that trouble is brewing.
Rich Cordivari, V-P of Learning and Development at Allied Barton Security Services, which provides security personnel, shares the following warning signs as originally reported in a 2004 USA Today analysis of deadly workplace violence incidents. Anyone exhibiting these traits may need help and you should notify someone in authority.
1. A normally prompt employee is excessively late or absent; or one who has consistently worked full days leaves work without authorization or gives frequent excuses for shortening the work day;
2. An experienced employee who requires increased supervision;
3. A classic warning sign of employee dissatisfaction is when a normally efficient and productive employee displays a sudden or dramatic drop in performance. Meet with her immediately to develop a plan of action.
4. Significant change in someone’s work habits;
5. Mounting signs of stress may signal trouble is brewing and is often a significant contributor to workplace violence: Like a normally safety-minded employee suddenly is involved in accidents or safety violations; or someone who has trouble focusing and concentrating. Notify the manager who can encourage him to get help.
6. A persistent change in attitude and behavior can be a red flag the person is having problems. Since you’re probably familiar with her personality you’re in a position to notice these changes.
7. A classic warning sign is when a person has a weapons fascination! Don’t ignore this. Report it.
8. Watch for changes in a person’s temperament when under the influence of drugs or alcohol because it’s often associated with violence in the workplace. Follow your organization’s procedure to identify and assist drug or alcohol abusers.
9. Another classic red flag easy to identify but usually ignored is when a person frequently uses excuses and blames others rather than takes personal responsibility for their own actions. A worker who engages in this behavior is typically signaling a need for assistance and may require counseling.
Don’t assume everyone who exhibits any of the behaviors is going to behave violently, however. Consider telling someone about your suspicions when:
· A colleague exhibits a noticeable change in any of the above behaviors;
· When the behavior is displayed constantly;
· Or when any of these behaviors are observed in combination;
These are just a few of the possible warning signs of possible workplace violence. As with any work related issue, report unusual behavior to a manager or someone who has the authority to take action instead of waiting until it’s too late.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Stress for Success
May 10, 2011
Work shouldn’t be a scary place. But it is for many people. Unfortunately, America has the highest violent crime rate of any industrialized nation. On average 20 workers are murdered each week in the U. S. making homicide the second highest cause of workplace deaths and the leading cause for women. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that over two million Americans are affected by workplace violence annually.
What can you do to protect yourself? Be on the lookout for tell-tales signs that trouble is brewing.
Rich Cordivari, V-P of Learning and Development at Allied Barton Security Services, which provides security personnel, shares the following warning signs as originally reported in a 2004 USA Today analysis of deadly workplace violence incidents. Anyone exhibiting these traits may need help and you should notify someone in authority.
1. A normally prompt employee is excessively late or absent; or one who has consistently worked full days leaves work without authorization or gives frequent excuses for shortening the work day;
2. An experienced employee who requires increased supervision;
3. A classic warning sign of employee dissatisfaction is when a normally efficient and productive employee displays a sudden or dramatic drop in performance. Meet with her immediately to develop a plan of action.
4. Significant change in someone’s work habits;
5. Mounting signs of stress may signal trouble is brewing and is often a significant contributor to workplace violence: Like a normally safety-minded employee suddenly is involved in accidents or safety violations; or someone who has trouble focusing and concentrating. Notify the manager who can encourage him to get help.
6. A persistent change in attitude and behavior can be a red flag the person is having problems. Since you’re probably familiar with her personality you’re in a position to notice these changes.
7. A classic warning sign is when a person has a weapons fascination! Don’t ignore this. Report it.
8. Watch for changes in a person’s temperament when under the influence of drugs or alcohol because it’s often associated with violence in the workplace. Follow your organization’s procedure to identify and assist drug or alcohol abusers.
9. Another classic red flag easy to identify but usually ignored is when a person frequently uses excuses and blames others rather than takes personal responsibility for their own actions. A worker who engages in this behavior is typically signaling a need for assistance and may require counseling.
Don’t assume everyone who exhibits any of the behaviors is going to behave violently, however. Consider telling someone about your suspicions when:
· A colleague exhibits a noticeable change in any of the above behaviors;
· When the behavior is displayed constantly;
· Or when any of these behaviors are observed in combination;
These are just a few of the possible warning signs of possible workplace violence. As with any work related issue, report unusual behavior to a manager or someone who has the authority to take action instead of waiting until it’s too late.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Does volunteering protect you from the damage of stress?
Stress for Success
May 3, 2011
I know I admonish you to lower stress through a variety of ways like exercise (to which I can hear your collective eye-rolling), relaxing, etc. Regularly doing so protects you from the damage of excessive stress hormones.
There are other non-eye-rolling ways to reduce stress, too. Since National Volunteer Week is in April, let me suggest volunteering as a way to balance your stress.
Volunteering can be an especially rewarding stress break because it’s believed you release the hormone oxytocin when you connect and bond with people, which is believed to protect you from the ravages of stress. Plus, some believe it’s actually impossible to be depressed when you help someone.
I’ve personally volunteered at something all of my life: tutored inner-city kids in Spanish, served in the Peace Corps for over two years, sat on countless boards of directors, and helped the Red Cross after Hurricane Charley. For the past five years I’ve volunteered weekly at Healthpark as a cuddler working with premature babies and sing in and am now on the organizing board for the newly formed Symphonic Chorale of SW FL, formerly known as the SW FL Symphony Chorus.
Sure, some nights I’m exhausted and don’t want to go out and honor these commitments. But once there I realize these activities are my reward: the music we sing fills my heart in a way that nothing else can and the babies, well, they’re adorable little babies.
To reduce your stress, check out volunteer options such as:
· Volunteermatch.org: This matches up volunteer opportunities with over 70,000 nonprofit organizations;
· AmeriCorps: Each year, AmeriCorps offers opportunities for adults of all ages and backgrounds to serve through partnerships with local and national nonprofit groups. Members who complete service may be eligible for an education award of up to $4,725 to pay for college, graduate school, or to pay back qualified student loans. You receive a living allowance during your term of service;
· Points of Light Institute: a national nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to engaging more people and resources in solving serious social problems;
· The Red Cross: helps prepare communities for emergencies;
· SCORE: Senior Corps of Retired Executives is a nonprofit organization which provides small business counseling and training under a grant from the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA). SCORE members are successful, retired business men and women who volunteer their time to assist aspiring entrepreneurs and small business owners. There are SCORE chapters in every state. My husband and I had a wonderful SCORE counselor who helped us when we started my husband’s business. We met monthly and felt a commitment to him to have our homework done and to meet the goals we set with his help.
· Help a neighbor in need;
What better use of your spare time is there than to help others? Whether you’re a medical professional, attorney, retired businessperson or a stay-at-home parent, do your stress level and the world a favor; share your talents with those who need them.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Stress for Success
May 3, 2011
I know I admonish you to lower stress through a variety of ways like exercise (to which I can hear your collective eye-rolling), relaxing, etc. Regularly doing so protects you from the damage of excessive stress hormones.
There are other non-eye-rolling ways to reduce stress, too. Since National Volunteer Week is in April, let me suggest volunteering as a way to balance your stress.
Volunteering can be an especially rewarding stress break because it’s believed you release the hormone oxytocin when you connect and bond with people, which is believed to protect you from the ravages of stress. Plus, some believe it’s actually impossible to be depressed when you help someone.
I’ve personally volunteered at something all of my life: tutored inner-city kids in Spanish, served in the Peace Corps for over two years, sat on countless boards of directors, and helped the Red Cross after Hurricane Charley. For the past five years I’ve volunteered weekly at Healthpark as a cuddler working with premature babies and sing in and am now on the organizing board for the newly formed Symphonic Chorale of SW FL, formerly known as the SW FL Symphony Chorus.
Sure, some nights I’m exhausted and don’t want to go out and honor these commitments. But once there I realize these activities are my reward: the music we sing fills my heart in a way that nothing else can and the babies, well, they’re adorable little babies.
To reduce your stress, check out volunteer options such as:
· Volunteermatch.org: This matches up volunteer opportunities with over 70,000 nonprofit organizations;
· AmeriCorps: Each year, AmeriCorps offers opportunities for adults of all ages and backgrounds to serve through partnerships with local and national nonprofit groups. Members who complete service may be eligible for an education award of up to $4,725 to pay for college, graduate school, or to pay back qualified student loans. You receive a living allowance during your term of service;
· Points of Light Institute: a national nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to engaging more people and resources in solving serious social problems;
· The Red Cross: helps prepare communities for emergencies;
· SCORE: Senior Corps of Retired Executives is a nonprofit organization which provides small business counseling and training under a grant from the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA). SCORE members are successful, retired business men and women who volunteer their time to assist aspiring entrepreneurs and small business owners. There are SCORE chapters in every state. My husband and I had a wonderful SCORE counselor who helped us when we started my husband’s business. We met monthly and felt a commitment to him to have our homework done and to meet the goals we set with his help.
· Help a neighbor in need;
What better use of your spare time is there than to help others? Whether you’re a medical professional, attorney, retired businessperson or a stay-at-home parent, do your stress level and the world a favor; share your talents with those who need them.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Exercise can help improve your mental health
Stress for Success
April 26, 2011
Depressed? Anxious? Obsessive?
These conditions along with scores of physical conditions present yet one more reason to exercise. Research has long shown exercise to be an effective but under-prescribed treatment for mild to moderate depression and anxiety.
For some, getting out of bed feels overwhelming making exercise seem impossible. But the degree of mood improvement with regular exercise is so significant that many researchers believe it’s more effective than counseling and anti-depressants.
We’ve known for quite some time that exercise:
· Reduces stress, anxiety and depression;
· Boosts self-esteem;
· Improves sleep;
· Lowers blood pressure and strengthens your heart;
· Increases energy;
· Improves muscle tone and strength;
· Strengthens, builds bones;
· Reduces body fat;
· Makes you look and feel fit and healthy;
It’s not completely understood why exercise is so effective but it’s probably due to the reduction of cortisol, the stress hormone, and increased body temperature, which may have calming effects.
The psychological boosts from exercise seem due to endorphin releases, which interact with brain receptors that reduce your perception of pain. Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine, producing the “runners’ high” and typically accompanied by greater optimism.
Exercise is also a great substitute for the obsessive thinking that drives these difficult emotions. It burns up your fight/flight energy in a positive way while distracting you from obsessive thinking about how miserable life is.
To decide which exercise to do answer these WebMD published questions:
· Which physical activities do I enjoy?
· Do I prefer group or individual activities?
· Which program best fit my schedule?
· Do I have a physical condition that limits my choice?
· What are my goals? Weight loss? Muscle strengthening? Flexibility? Mood enhancement?
To ease your depressive symptoms work toward 20 to 30 minutes of exercise, three times a week; four or five times a week is even better.
But any amount of exercise is better than none and can prevent a relapse after treatment for depression. Kristin Vickers-Douglas, Ph.D., Mayo Clinic psychologist, says, “Small bouts of exercise may be a great way to a get started if it’s initially too difficult to do more.” If ten minutes is all you’ll do, then do ten minutes. Instead of beating yourself up for not doing more pat yourself on the back for starting then gradually increase to 30 minutes.
If you haven’t exercised for a long time, check with your physician. If you feel pain two hours after exercising, you probably overexerted yourself so decrease your activity level. Never ignore pain.
Finally, take advice from Dr. Mary Ann Chapman, “The key to breaking a bad habit (doing nothing) and adopting a good one (exercising)” is to:
Minimize the immediate reward of doing nothing (relief from successfully avoiding exercising);
Make the long-term negative consequences of not exercising (continued depression/anxiety/anger) seem more imminent;
In other words, instead of excuse after excuse to avoid exercise, remind yourself how exhausted you are of being emotionally stuck.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization. Register for Administrative Professionals Day, April 27, at 239-425-3273.
Stress for Success
April 26, 2011
Depressed? Anxious? Obsessive?
These conditions along with scores of physical conditions present yet one more reason to exercise. Research has long shown exercise to be an effective but under-prescribed treatment for mild to moderate depression and anxiety.
For some, getting out of bed feels overwhelming making exercise seem impossible. But the degree of mood improvement with regular exercise is so significant that many researchers believe it’s more effective than counseling and anti-depressants.
We’ve known for quite some time that exercise:
· Reduces stress, anxiety and depression;
· Boosts self-esteem;
· Improves sleep;
· Lowers blood pressure and strengthens your heart;
· Increases energy;
· Improves muscle tone and strength;
· Strengthens, builds bones;
· Reduces body fat;
· Makes you look and feel fit and healthy;
It’s not completely understood why exercise is so effective but it’s probably due to the reduction of cortisol, the stress hormone, and increased body temperature, which may have calming effects.
The psychological boosts from exercise seem due to endorphin releases, which interact with brain receptors that reduce your perception of pain. Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine, producing the “runners’ high” and typically accompanied by greater optimism.
Exercise is also a great substitute for the obsessive thinking that drives these difficult emotions. It burns up your fight/flight energy in a positive way while distracting you from obsessive thinking about how miserable life is.
To decide which exercise to do answer these WebMD published questions:
· Which physical activities do I enjoy?
· Do I prefer group or individual activities?
· Which program best fit my schedule?
· Do I have a physical condition that limits my choice?
· What are my goals? Weight loss? Muscle strengthening? Flexibility? Mood enhancement?
To ease your depressive symptoms work toward 20 to 30 minutes of exercise, three times a week; four or five times a week is even better.
But any amount of exercise is better than none and can prevent a relapse after treatment for depression. Kristin Vickers-Douglas, Ph.D., Mayo Clinic psychologist, says, “Small bouts of exercise may be a great way to a get started if it’s initially too difficult to do more.” If ten minutes is all you’ll do, then do ten minutes. Instead of beating yourself up for not doing more pat yourself on the back for starting then gradually increase to 30 minutes.
If you haven’t exercised for a long time, check with your physician. If you feel pain two hours after exercising, you probably overexerted yourself so decrease your activity level. Never ignore pain.
Finally, take advice from Dr. Mary Ann Chapman, “The key to breaking a bad habit (doing nothing) and adopting a good one (exercising)” is to:
Minimize the immediate reward of doing nothing (relief from successfully avoiding exercising);
Make the long-term negative consequences of not exercising (continued depression/anxiety/anger) seem more imminent;
In other words, instead of excuse after excuse to avoid exercise, remind yourself how exhausted you are of being emotionally stuck.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html and request she speak to your organization. Register for Administrative Professionals Day, April 27, at 239-425-3273.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Effective treatment available for low-grade depression
Stress for Success
April 19, 2011
Every day looks gloomy. There isn’t much to enjoy. Feeling like a failure is all too familiar leading to a life of withdrawal and inactivity. With plenty to worry about sleep is elusive. Drugs and alcohol ease the pain. It seems that life has always been this way; it seems “normal.” Isn’t this how most people live?
No, it isn’t. If you see life this way you may be diagnosed with dysthymia, a milder but more continuing type of depression with continuous depressed mood for at least two years. It affects significantly more women than men.
For children, the duration is only one year. Kids’ major symptom may be irritability vs. depression. Since this on-going state of depression seems normal it usually goes undiagnosed, therefore untreated.
It’s typical dysthymia sufferers don’t seek help for a decade or longer, which is unfortunate since there is effective treatment. For children, being diagnosed early and getting treatment may help avoid more serious mood disorders, substance abuse and other painful school and relationship problems later.
It’s estimated that at any point, 3% of the population is affected by dysthymia. Those with immediate relatives who’ve had major depressive disorders are at greater risk. It usually develops early in one’s life although the person is unlikely to seek help unless she develops major depression (about 10% do).
The clinician’s guide to diagnosis, the DSM IV, states at least two of the following symptoms must also be present for this diagnosis:
· Overeating or lack of appetite;
· Sleeping too much or having difficulty sleeping;
· Fatigue, lack of energy;
· Poor self-esteem;
· Difficulty with concentration, decision-making;
· Hopelessness;
If this describes you most days, what can you do to feel better?
· Talk to a psychiatrist who may prescribe an anti-depressant. Anti-depressants can take weeks to have an effect and you may have to try several to find one that works well for you. It’s worth it, though, to discover that life can be much brighter and more enjoyable.
· Engage in a hobby that you enjoy and are good at. At first you may not have the energy but make yourself do it at least once a week. With time you’ll look forward to it.
· Volunteer regularly. Helping others works better at decreasing depression than almost anything. It takes your mind off your own troubles and helps you feel better about yourself and the world when you connect with others.
· Consult with your physician about getting regular exercise. Exercise at least 30 minutes 4 times/week if you want it to lift your mood.
· Eat nutritionally well.
· Avoid drugs and alcohol; both make depression worse.
Dysthymia is very treatable. The worst-case scenario is that it’ll be difficult to make yourself take better care of your moods. The best outcome is you’ll feel better and wonder what took you so long to address this seemingly “normal” condition. You deserve to feel better and you’re the only one who can make it happen.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Stress for Success
April 19, 2011
Every day looks gloomy. There isn’t much to enjoy. Feeling like a failure is all too familiar leading to a life of withdrawal and inactivity. With plenty to worry about sleep is elusive. Drugs and alcohol ease the pain. It seems that life has always been this way; it seems “normal.” Isn’t this how most people live?
No, it isn’t. If you see life this way you may be diagnosed with dysthymia, a milder but more continuing type of depression with continuous depressed mood for at least two years. It affects significantly more women than men.
For children, the duration is only one year. Kids’ major symptom may be irritability vs. depression. Since this on-going state of depression seems normal it usually goes undiagnosed, therefore untreated.
It’s typical dysthymia sufferers don’t seek help for a decade or longer, which is unfortunate since there is effective treatment. For children, being diagnosed early and getting treatment may help avoid more serious mood disorders, substance abuse and other painful school and relationship problems later.
It’s estimated that at any point, 3% of the population is affected by dysthymia. Those with immediate relatives who’ve had major depressive disorders are at greater risk. It usually develops early in one’s life although the person is unlikely to seek help unless she develops major depression (about 10% do).
The clinician’s guide to diagnosis, the DSM IV, states at least two of the following symptoms must also be present for this diagnosis:
· Overeating or lack of appetite;
· Sleeping too much or having difficulty sleeping;
· Fatigue, lack of energy;
· Poor self-esteem;
· Difficulty with concentration, decision-making;
· Hopelessness;
If this describes you most days, what can you do to feel better?
· Talk to a psychiatrist who may prescribe an anti-depressant. Anti-depressants can take weeks to have an effect and you may have to try several to find one that works well for you. It’s worth it, though, to discover that life can be much brighter and more enjoyable.
· Engage in a hobby that you enjoy and are good at. At first you may not have the energy but make yourself do it at least once a week. With time you’ll look forward to it.
· Volunteer regularly. Helping others works better at decreasing depression than almost anything. It takes your mind off your own troubles and helps you feel better about yourself and the world when you connect with others.
· Consult with your physician about getting regular exercise. Exercise at least 30 minutes 4 times/week if you want it to lift your mood.
· Eat nutritionally well.
· Avoid drugs and alcohol; both make depression worse.
Dysthymia is very treatable. The worst-case scenario is that it’ll be difficult to make yourself take better care of your moods. The best outcome is you’ll feel better and wonder what took you so long to address this seemingly “normal” condition. You deserve to feel better and you’re the only one who can make it happen.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Seek immediate professional help when suicidal Stress for Success April 5, 2011 Depressed people who are in imminent danger of committing suicide, which requires immediate help, often exhibit specific behaviors, says David Rudd, dean, college of social and behavioral science at the University of Utah. A Rudd chaired joint American Association of Suicidology and National Institutes of Health working group compiled a list of the most serious behaviors: · Putting affairs in order: e.g., changing a will; · Behaving recklessly: displaying a death wish by driving carelessly with escalation to show they’re serious; · Dramatic mood shifts: being extremely low to being anxious or agitated; · Discussing suicide: up to 85% of those who commit suicide told someone about their plans or communicated them in a poem or diary. Adolescents may even leave their journal out for someone to see; · Talking about feeling worthless: abuse victims especially feel hopeless and shameful; · Losing interest in life: emotional emptiness is a sign of escalating depression; Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) are an excellent and immediate source of help. I interviewed Judy Anderson, LMHC, CEAP, EAP Consultants, Inc., Fort Myers, about these services. Here are my questions and her edited answers. Q: Which signs of depression indicate a person should get help? A: Most notice their range of emotion narrows: less positive anticipation and happiness and more sadness, anxiety, irritability and loneliness. Nothing seems to feel good. Also: · Changes in sleep patterns: difficulty falling asleep and/or waking early, not getting back to sleep; · Decreased appetite, or increased appetite, especially for “comfort” food; · Difficulty concentrating; · Indecisiveness; · Distorted perspective: notice only losses, failures, and problems versus pleasure, peace, and happiness; · Thinking about dying or suicide; Q: What is an EAP and what do you offer? A: These are employer-offered services promoting employee wellness helping employees be more effective both at work and at home. They’re encouraged to use their EAP before their life suffers through: · Assistance identifying and resolving emotional struggles, marital and family problems, substance abuse, stress; · Referrals to local resources for help with legal questions, elder/child care and financial problems; Q: What are the costs? A: These services are provided, without accessing health insurance plans, at no cost to the employee, including no co-pay. Employers pay a small monthly fee per employee so services are available to any employee at any time. Q: Is it confidential? A: Yes. EAP counselors are licensed mental health providers and covered by confidentiality laws. It’s also confidential who accesses EAPs. Q: How many counseling sessions are involved? A: Depending on the employer, from 3 to as many as 8 or more. Q: Are there other non-counselor services? A: Workshops, support groups, classes, and books, websites or movies are sometimes recommended. Q: For those who don’t have an EAP, whom should they call for help? A: Local mental health center, Primary Care Physician for referrals, health insurance may cover counseling with preferred providers locally; spiritual advisor may offer counseling or support groups; Depression in lonely; don’t go through it alone. Please, reach out to someone. Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Depression can be treated Stress for Success March 29, 2011 Might your moodiness be clinical depression? Everyone feels “blue” at times but clinical depression runs more deeply. A diagnosis of depression requires the presence of one of two features for most of the day, nearly every day for two-weeks: · Depressed mood; · Loss of interest or pleasure in activities; Symptoms include: · Change in appetite and weight: You seldom feel hungry and may forget to eat. You have to force yourself to eat even a few bites. Preparing meals requires too much energy. Significant weight loss may occur. · Or an increase in appetite and weight gain; craving certain foods such as sweets or carbohydrates; · Trouble sleeping; · Or sleeping too much; · Overly agitated - difficulty sitting still, pacing and fidgeting; · Slowed down - sluggish movements, slumped while sitting, avert your eyes, speak slowly and sparsely in a monotone with low volume, pausing before responding to questions, slower thinking ; · Decreased energy, feeling tired and fatigued: Simple day-to-day tasks seem overwhelming. You may tire quickly in everything you do. Your work at home and at the office suffers. · Feeling worthless or guilty: You focus on past failures, personalize trivial events, see minor mistakes as proof that you’re inadequate. You blame yourself for all that goes wrong. You hate yourself and think you’re a bad person. · Thinking problems: Negative and pessimistic thoughts increase your belief that nothing can get better; trouble with thinking, concentrating or making decisions especially if your work is mentally challenging · Feeling sad, depressed, blue, empty, hopeless, helpless; Hopelessness is having a negative view of your future; an assumption that pain and unhappiness will continue. You’re quite sure your life won’t get better. Helplessness is a negative view of yourself; you lack self-confidence and believe it’s not possible to feel better. “What’s the use?” sums it up. Strong feelings of helplessness can lead to thoughts of suicide. If you contemplate suicide you should consult a professional immediately. Symptoms include: · Often on the edge of crying; · Depressed appearance (facial expressions, disposition); · Overly irritable; · Physical problems, especially chronic headaches, stomachaches, joint and back pain, indigestion, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome; The second feature of depression is a significant loss of interest or pleasure in most activities nearly every day for at least two-weeks. “I just don’t care anymore,” explains your feelings toward things you once enjoyed. Your detachment is noticeable to your friends and family, too. If you’re depressed, consider what I wrote last week: depressive symptoms may be a normal response to what’s wrong in your life and may facilitate you focusing like a laser beam on solving it. And get professional help (next week’s topic). With today’s treatments there’s simply no reason to go through life assuming it can be no better. Your depression may improve with no treatment, and it may return. The degree of hopelessness and helplessness determines whether or not you seek help. Sometimes it’s up to loved ones to get you the treatment you need and deserve. Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Depression can be treated
Stress for Success
March 22, 2011
Might your moodiness be clinical depression?
Everyone feels “blue” at times but clinical depression runs more deeply. A diagnosis of depression requires the presence of one of two features for most of the day, nearly every day for two-weeks:
· Depressed mood;
· Loss of interest or pleasure in activities;
Symptoms include:
· Change in appetite and weight: You seldom feel hungry and may forget to eat. You have to force yourself to eat even a few bites. Preparing meals requires too much energy. Significant weight loss may occur.
· Or an increase in appetite and weight gain; craving certain foods such as sweets or carbohydrates;
· Trouble sleeping;
· Or sleeping too much;
· Overly agitated - difficulty sitting still, pacing and fidgeting;
· Slowed down - sluggish movements, slumped while sitting, avert your eyes, speak slowly and sparsely in a monotone with low volume, pausing before responding to questions, slower thinking ;
· Decreased energy, feeling tired and fatigued: Simple day-to-day tasks seem overwhelming. You may tire quickly in everything you do. Your work at home and at the office suffers.
· Feeling worthless or guilty: You focus on past failures, personalize trivial events, see minor mistakes as proof that you’re inadequate. You blame yourself for all that goes wrong. You hate yourself and think you’re a bad person.
· Thinking problems: Negative and pessimistic thoughts increase your belief that nothing can get better; trouble with thinking, concentrating or making decisions especially if your work is mentally challenging
· Feeling sad, depressed, blue, empty, hopeless, helpless;
Hopelessness is having a negative view of your future; an assumption that pain and unhappiness will continue. You’re quite sure your life won’t get better.
Helplessness is a negative view of yourself; you lack self-confidence and believe it’s not possible to feel better. “What’s the use?” sums it up. Strong feelings of helplessness can lead to thoughts of suicide. If you contemplate suicide you should consult a professional immediately. Symptoms include:
· Often on the edge of crying;
· Depressed appearance (facial expressions, disposition);
· Overly irritable;
· Physical problems, especially chronic headaches, stomachaches, joint and back pain, indigestion, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome;
The second feature of depression is a significant loss of interest or pleasure in most activities nearly every day for at least two-weeks. “I just don’t care anymore,” explains your feelings toward things you once enjoyed. Your detachment is noticeable to your friends and family, too.
If you’re depressed, consider what I wrote last week: depressive symptoms may be a normal response to what’s wrong in your life and may facilitate you focusing like a laser beam on solving it.
And get professional help (next week’s topic). With today’s treatments there’s simply no reason to go through life assuming it can be no better. Your depression may improve with no treatment, and it may return. The degree of hopelessness and helplessness determines whether or not you seek help. Sometimes it’s up to loved ones to get you the treatment you need and deserve.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Stress for Success
March 22, 2011
Might your moodiness be clinical depression?
Everyone feels “blue” at times but clinical depression runs more deeply. A diagnosis of depression requires the presence of one of two features for most of the day, nearly every day for two-weeks:
· Depressed mood;
· Loss of interest or pleasure in activities;
Symptoms include:
· Change in appetite and weight: You seldom feel hungry and may forget to eat. You have to force yourself to eat even a few bites. Preparing meals requires too much energy. Significant weight loss may occur.
· Or an increase in appetite and weight gain; craving certain foods such as sweets or carbohydrates;
· Trouble sleeping;
· Or sleeping too much;
· Overly agitated - difficulty sitting still, pacing and fidgeting;
· Slowed down - sluggish movements, slumped while sitting, avert your eyes, speak slowly and sparsely in a monotone with low volume, pausing before responding to questions, slower thinking ;
· Decreased energy, feeling tired and fatigued: Simple day-to-day tasks seem overwhelming. You may tire quickly in everything you do. Your work at home and at the office suffers.
· Feeling worthless or guilty: You focus on past failures, personalize trivial events, see minor mistakes as proof that you’re inadequate. You blame yourself for all that goes wrong. You hate yourself and think you’re a bad person.
· Thinking problems: Negative and pessimistic thoughts increase your belief that nothing can get better; trouble with thinking, concentrating or making decisions especially if your work is mentally challenging
· Feeling sad, depressed, blue, empty, hopeless, helpless;
Hopelessness is having a negative view of your future; an assumption that pain and unhappiness will continue. You’re quite sure your life won’t get better.
Helplessness is a negative view of yourself; you lack self-confidence and believe it’s not possible to feel better. “What’s the use?” sums it up. Strong feelings of helplessness can lead to thoughts of suicide. If you contemplate suicide you should consult a professional immediately. Symptoms include:
· Often on the edge of crying;
· Depressed appearance (facial expressions, disposition);
· Overly irritable;
· Physical problems, especially chronic headaches, stomachaches, joint and back pain, indigestion, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome;
The second feature of depression is a significant loss of interest or pleasure in most activities nearly every day for at least two-weeks. “I just don’t care anymore,” explains your feelings toward things you once enjoyed. Your detachment is noticeable to your friends and family, too.
If you’re depressed, consider what I wrote last week: depressive symptoms may be a normal response to what’s wrong in your life and may facilitate you focusing like a laser beam on solving it.
And get professional help (next week’s topic). With today’s treatments there’s simply no reason to go through life assuming it can be no better. Your depression may improve with no treatment, and it may return. The degree of hopelessness and helplessness determines whether or not you seek help. Sometimes it’s up to loved ones to get you the treatment you need and deserve.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
One more reason to avoid being a couch potato
Stress for Success
March 8, 2011
Do you sit about as much as you sleep most days? An Institute for Medicine and Public Health poll of almost 6,300 people found you probably spend about 56 hours a week commuting, at your computer, or watching TV. And many women are more sedentary than men since they hold less active jobs and play fewer sports.
Whether or not you think you’re sedentary, you probably spend much time at work sitting. And, excessive sitting is killing us through obesity, heart disease, and diabetes.
It’s even spawning a new medical study: inactive physiology, which explores our tech-driven lives and its resulting lethal new epidemic, “sitting disease.”
American Cancer Society epidemiologist Alpa V. Patel, PhD and colleagues found through research after adjusting for smoking, height/weight, and other factors, sitting six or more hours daily - versus less than three hours - increased the death rate by about:
· 40% in women;
· 20% in men;
· 94% in the least active women;
· 48% in the least active men;
The health problem wasn’t due to insufficient exercise; it was the sitting itself. As one person wrote, “It’s the modern-day desk sentence.”
Mayo Clinic’s James Levine, M.D., Ph.D., author of “Move a Little, Lose a Lot,” says, “Our bodies have evolved over millions of years to … move. For thousands of generations, our environment demanded nearly constant physical activity.”
Contrast that with modern life: increasingly longer work weeks, electronic living that extinguishes what little activity we might otherwise choose by allowing us to:
· Interact with friends through social networking without taking a step;
· Shop and pay bills by lifting only a finger;
· Entertain ourselves through on-line distractions;
Levine says, “The consequences of all that easy living are profound.”
Marc Hamilton, Ph.D., associate professor of biomedical sciences at the University of Missouri warns when you sit too much, your body shuts down at the metabolic level. When your large muscles, meant for movement, are immobile, your circulation slows so burns fewer calories. Fat-burning enzymes responsible for breaking down triglycerides start to switch off. Sitting for a full day decreases those enzymes by 50%, according to Levine.
Additionally, the less you move the less blood sugar you use increasing your chance of contracting diabetes. Depression is also more likely due to less blood flow circulating fewer feel-good hormones to your brain.
Exercise doesn’t even give you a pass. (Now the researchers have my attention.) We’ve become so sedentary that 30 minutes daily at the gym may not be enough to counteract the detrimental effects of eight – ten hours of sitting, according to Genevieve Healy, Ph.D of the Cancer Prevention Research Centre of the University of Queensland, Australia, explaining why many women struggle with weight despite regularly working out.
Healy discovered regardless of how much exercise participants got, those who took more breaks from sitting had slimmer waists, lower BMIs, and healthier blood fat and blood sugar levels than those who sat the most. Next week I’ll present tips to counteract sitting disease.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Stress for Success
March 8, 2011
Do you sit about as much as you sleep most days? An Institute for Medicine and Public Health poll of almost 6,300 people found you probably spend about 56 hours a week commuting, at your computer, or watching TV. And many women are more sedentary than men since they hold less active jobs and play fewer sports.
Whether or not you think you’re sedentary, you probably spend much time at work sitting. And, excessive sitting is killing us through obesity, heart disease, and diabetes.
It’s even spawning a new medical study: inactive physiology, which explores our tech-driven lives and its resulting lethal new epidemic, “sitting disease.”
American Cancer Society epidemiologist Alpa V. Patel, PhD and colleagues found through research after adjusting for smoking, height/weight, and other factors, sitting six or more hours daily - versus less than three hours - increased the death rate by about:
· 40% in women;
· 20% in men;
· 94% in the least active women;
· 48% in the least active men;
The health problem wasn’t due to insufficient exercise; it was the sitting itself. As one person wrote, “It’s the modern-day desk sentence.”
Mayo Clinic’s James Levine, M.D., Ph.D., author of “Move a Little, Lose a Lot,” says, “Our bodies have evolved over millions of years to … move. For thousands of generations, our environment demanded nearly constant physical activity.”
Contrast that with modern life: increasingly longer work weeks, electronic living that extinguishes what little activity we might otherwise choose by allowing us to:
· Interact with friends through social networking without taking a step;
· Shop and pay bills by lifting only a finger;
· Entertain ourselves through on-line distractions;
Levine says, “The consequences of all that easy living are profound.”
Marc Hamilton, Ph.D., associate professor of biomedical sciences at the University of Missouri warns when you sit too much, your body shuts down at the metabolic level. When your large muscles, meant for movement, are immobile, your circulation slows so burns fewer calories. Fat-burning enzymes responsible for breaking down triglycerides start to switch off. Sitting for a full day decreases those enzymes by 50%, according to Levine.
Additionally, the less you move the less blood sugar you use increasing your chance of contracting diabetes. Depression is also more likely due to less blood flow circulating fewer feel-good hormones to your brain.
Exercise doesn’t even give you a pass. (Now the researchers have my attention.) We’ve become so sedentary that 30 minutes daily at the gym may not be enough to counteract the detrimental effects of eight – ten hours of sitting, according to Genevieve Healy, Ph.D of the Cancer Prevention Research Centre of the University of Queensland, Australia, explaining why many women struggle with weight despite regularly working out.
Healy discovered regardless of how much exercise participants got, those who took more breaks from sitting had slimmer waists, lower BMIs, and healthier blood fat and blood sugar levels than those who sat the most. Next week I’ll present tips to counteract sitting disease.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Reach goals and make decisions using “if … then” technique
Stress for Success
March 1, 2011
When considering options, do you suffer from analysis paralysis? Or, do you impulsively react? To counter both of these approaches use the “if … then technique:”
· If I do ____ then ____ will happen.
For example, you have two job offers and must decide which to accept. One seems more interesting but pays significantly less; the other pays more but requires working more hours:
If I take the job that seems more interesting but pays less, then:
• I could only pay small amounts off my debt monthly.
• I’d enjoy my work more and be less stressed.
• Commuting would be less expensive and time-consuming since the job is closer to home.
• I’d spend more time with my family because I’d work fewer hours.
If I take the higher paying job, then:
• More commute time and over-time would keep me away from home more.
• With less time at home doing household chores and spending time with the family would become more challenging.
• My family might step up and help with chores. Maybe they’d even appreciate what I do around the house more.
• I could hire a housekeeper.
At first glance this technique seems like just the pros and cons of your choices. It’s different, however, in that it encourages you to think in terms of the consequences of your options. It helps you think before you act.
· If you rescue your child from her irresponsible behavior again then you’ll teach her you’ll rescue her and she won’t have to responsibility for herself.
· If you buy that expensive outfit then you’ll have less money and you’ll look great for the party. This forces you to choose what you value more: looking great or saving money.
To avoid the ready-aim-aim-aim-and-never-fire or the ready-fire-aim approaches, use if … then and join the ready-aim-fire group.
A second and different use of “if … then” is in planning and helping you accomplish goals.
For instance, for a weight loss goal, use if … then:
1. If ____ happens, then I’ll do ____.
o E.g., If dessert is offered I’ll decline and request water.
2. Then, add your specific goal: I’ll walk 30 minutes weekdays at 6:30 a.m.
NYU psychologist, Peter Gollwitzer reviewed 94 studies that researched people who used this 2-step planning technique and found significantly higher success rates for just about any goal. He explains it works because it speaks the language of your brain: the language of contingencies.
Deciding exactly how you’ll react to circumstances regarding your goal creates a link in your brain between the situation or cue (if) and the behavior that should follow (then.)
• When dessert is offered (cue) it links to your desired behavior - turn it down and request water.
Gollwitzer says this link keeps you from having to consciously monitor your goal. Your plans get carried out without apparent effort.
I’ve used this approach recently and have been very successful in achieving my stated goal. I encourage you to try it, too.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Stress for Success
March 1, 2011
When considering options, do you suffer from analysis paralysis? Or, do you impulsively react? To counter both of these approaches use the “if … then technique:”
· If I do ____ then ____ will happen.
For example, you have two job offers and must decide which to accept. One seems more interesting but pays significantly less; the other pays more but requires working more hours:
If I take the job that seems more interesting but pays less, then:
• I could only pay small amounts off my debt monthly.
• I’d enjoy my work more and be less stressed.
• Commuting would be less expensive and time-consuming since the job is closer to home.
• I’d spend more time with my family because I’d work fewer hours.
If I take the higher paying job, then:
• More commute time and over-time would keep me away from home more.
• With less time at home doing household chores and spending time with the family would become more challenging.
• My family might step up and help with chores. Maybe they’d even appreciate what I do around the house more.
• I could hire a housekeeper.
At first glance this technique seems like just the pros and cons of your choices. It’s different, however, in that it encourages you to think in terms of the consequences of your options. It helps you think before you act.
· If you rescue your child from her irresponsible behavior again then you’ll teach her you’ll rescue her and she won’t have to responsibility for herself.
· If you buy that expensive outfit then you’ll have less money and you’ll look great for the party. This forces you to choose what you value more: looking great or saving money.
To avoid the ready-aim-aim-aim-and-never-fire or the ready-fire-aim approaches, use if … then and join the ready-aim-fire group.
A second and different use of “if … then” is in planning and helping you accomplish goals.
For instance, for a weight loss goal, use if … then:
1. If ____ happens, then I’ll do ____.
o E.g., If dessert is offered I’ll decline and request water.
2. Then, add your specific goal: I’ll walk 30 minutes weekdays at 6:30 a.m.
NYU psychologist, Peter Gollwitzer reviewed 94 studies that researched people who used this 2-step planning technique and found significantly higher success rates for just about any goal. He explains it works because it speaks the language of your brain: the language of contingencies.
Deciding exactly how you’ll react to circumstances regarding your goal creates a link in your brain between the situation or cue (if) and the behavior that should follow (then.)
• When dessert is offered (cue) it links to your desired behavior - turn it down and request water.
Gollwitzer says this link keeps you from having to consciously monitor your goal. Your plans get carried out without apparent effort.
I’ve used this approach recently and have been very successful in achieving my stated goal. I encourage you to try it, too.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Blacks pay physical price for stress of discrimination
Stress for Success
February 22, 2011
Imagine frequently:
· being followed by store employees who suspect you of stealing;
· being excluded at work;
· feeling like you have to prove yourself again;
Perceiving these and other racial stressors often, month after month, qualifies them as chronic stress making you vulnerable to illness and disease development. The stress will eventually take a toll on you emotionally and physically.
February is Black History Month, a good time to consider the on-going psychological affronts that many African-Americans still encounter, especially in their public lives of working and shopping, and especially in low income inner-cities.
At the other end of the African-American stress continuum is the stress experienced by more educated and accomplished blacks:
· 93% of African-American female college students admit to feeling like an imposter when they succeed at something;
Some of their stress comes from them:
· Feeling like “pioneers,” paving the way for more black achievement;
· Buying into society’s historic stereotypes of African-Americans being less competent;
· Being female since females of any race often ascribe success to outside reasons versus their own efforts;
Regardless of the source of racial stress, the negative consequences can mount.
National Institute of Health
‘;(NIH) research “… links excess prevalence and severity of hypertension among African-Americans to chronic and disproportionately intense societal stress." This partly explains why, when compared to all other racial/ethnic groups in America, blacks have the highest incidence of:
· Diabetes;
· Cardio-vascular heart disease;
· Hypertension and stroke;
“This is not to say that all African-Americans have poor health,” said researcher Vickie Mays, UCLA professor of psychology and health services. “However, African-Americans – as a group – have not gained as much ground (in health improvement) as other ethnic groups.”
When stress to the cardiovascular system is chronic to the point of allostatic load, the cumulative wear and tear of stress on the body, the immune system is suppressed, blood pressure increases and, over time, atherosclerosis can develop, resulting in coronary vascular disease. The chronic stress response is also associated with other diseases and obesity. (www.MinorityHealthDisparities.org.)
Heart disease is largely a preventable condition. Stress reduction strategies, including lifestyle changes, not only prevent heart disease and hypertension, they may even reverse some damage. NIH funded trials found meditation was 2 ½ times more effective in reducing systolic and diastolic blood pressure than typical relaxation. It’s a significantly healthier way to reduce blood pressure since it has no adverse reactions and costs nothing compared to standard drug treatment.
The health protections these strategies offer are only part of the pay off. Equally important is that from practicing healthy habits and experiencing their subsequent positive results you gain a greater sense of personal control, which lowers your daily stress level, enhancing your health improvements even more.
To reduce your stress, put your energy into controlling what you can, which largely excludes societal racial stereotyping. Instead, make lifestyle changes to protect yourself from the physical ravages of stress. How can you improve your daily habits of exercise, nutrition and meditation?
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Stress for Success
February 22, 2011
Imagine frequently:
· being followed by store employees who suspect you of stealing;
· being excluded at work;
· feeling like you have to prove yourself again;
Perceiving these and other racial stressors often, month after month, qualifies them as chronic stress making you vulnerable to illness and disease development. The stress will eventually take a toll on you emotionally and physically.
February is Black History Month, a good time to consider the on-going psychological affronts that many African-Americans still encounter, especially in their public lives of working and shopping, and especially in low income inner-cities.
At the other end of the African-American stress continuum is the stress experienced by more educated and accomplished blacks:
· 93% of African-American female college students admit to feeling like an imposter when they succeed at something;
Some of their stress comes from them:
· Feeling like “pioneers,” paving the way for more black achievement;
· Buying into society’s historic stereotypes of African-Americans being less competent;
· Being female since females of any race often ascribe success to outside reasons versus their own efforts;
Regardless of the source of racial stress, the negative consequences can mount.
National Institute of Health
‘;(NIH) research “… links excess prevalence and severity of hypertension among African-Americans to chronic and disproportionately intense societal stress." This partly explains why, when compared to all other racial/ethnic groups in America, blacks have the highest incidence of:
· Diabetes;
· Cardio-vascular heart disease;
· Hypertension and stroke;
“This is not to say that all African-Americans have poor health,” said researcher Vickie Mays, UCLA professor of psychology and health services. “However, African-Americans – as a group – have not gained as much ground (in health improvement) as other ethnic groups.”
When stress to the cardiovascular system is chronic to the point of allostatic load, the cumulative wear and tear of stress on the body, the immune system is suppressed, blood pressure increases and, over time, atherosclerosis can develop, resulting in coronary vascular disease. The chronic stress response is also associated with other diseases and obesity. (www.MinorityHealthDisparities.org.)
Heart disease is largely a preventable condition. Stress reduction strategies, including lifestyle changes, not only prevent heart disease and hypertension, they may even reverse some damage. NIH funded trials found meditation was 2 ½ times more effective in reducing systolic and diastolic blood pressure than typical relaxation. It’s a significantly healthier way to reduce blood pressure since it has no adverse reactions and costs nothing compared to standard drug treatment.
The health protections these strategies offer are only part of the pay off. Equally important is that from practicing healthy habits and experiencing their subsequent positive results you gain a greater sense of personal control, which lowers your daily stress level, enhancing your health improvements even more.
To reduce your stress, put your energy into controlling what you can, which largely excludes societal racial stereotyping. Instead, make lifestyle changes to protect yourself from the physical ravages of stress. How can you improve your daily habits of exercise, nutrition and meditation?
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Eat healthy, stay active and stop making excuses
Stress for Success
February 15, 2011
Feeling refreshed after a wonderful two-week Colorado vacation with friends and family it’s time to get my body’s insides feeling as energized as my mind and spirit.
Here’s why my body needs help.
We spent a week with close family - three couples and four kids - in Durango, CO. Wonderful cooks in each family showcased their skills creating mouthwatering breakfasts, lunches and dinners. This continued with our Boulder friends, too. I ate heartily at every single meal (boof!) and consumed generous amounts of alcohol over evening card games, laughter sessions and football games.
Now that we’ve returned, we’ll do our annual post-holiday, two-day cleansing apple diet to rid ourselves of our excesses.
I have two additional healthy intentions:
· To switch to one or two meals weekly of beans and legumes, with little or no meat: since my husband is the cook, I must convince him this is a good idea. So, while in Boulder I purchased a bean cookbook. To make this happen I may have to cook these meals – I haven’t cooked for over 27 years.
· To return to my exercise regimen: weekly bicycling, kayaking and Nordic Track plus yoga multiple times a week. I slacked off last quarter due to a variety of reasons, one of which was the cold weather.
If I fail to accomplish these goals, I’ll stay attuned to my reasons – aka excuses, like it’s too cold to kayak today.
Best-selling author Bob Greene, Oprah’s former personal trainer said, “I’ve heard every excuse on the planet – except a good one. Having an excuse is an obstacle that you choose to place in front of yourself. … in general, we do it to justify not changing. When you are out of excuses is when you are ready to change.”
Which excuses justify you not changing? Do your knees hurt? Maybe your job exhausts you so much that you can do nothing when you get home but veg out. Whatever your excuses, bring them to your conscious mind and admit that you just don’t want to do whatever it is you’re considering. Keeping excuses conscious versus automatic (unconscious) gives you more power to change someday.
Also, strengthen your motivation for healthy change by using intrinsic reasons that benefit you rather than someone else. The day of each week I target for my Nordic Track session isn’t a day I say, “Yippee! I get to do the Nordic Track today.” I just do it because I’m committed to strength, energy, health, flexibility, etc., all intrinsic reasons to work out.
Greene encourages you to look for some form of activity that fits you. Distract yourself while doing it if that would help, like watch TV as you march in place. Make a t-shirt for yourself with “No excuses” printed on it. Eat modestly and healthfully five days a week leaving two days to eat whatever you like. Do whatever works for you.
As one reformed couch potato said, “There is no excuse good enough for poor health.”
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Stress for Success
February 15, 2011
Feeling refreshed after a wonderful two-week Colorado vacation with friends and family it’s time to get my body’s insides feeling as energized as my mind and spirit.
Here’s why my body needs help.
We spent a week with close family - three couples and four kids - in Durango, CO. Wonderful cooks in each family showcased their skills creating mouthwatering breakfasts, lunches and dinners. This continued with our Boulder friends, too. I ate heartily at every single meal (boof!) and consumed generous amounts of alcohol over evening card games, laughter sessions and football games.
Now that we’ve returned, we’ll do our annual post-holiday, two-day cleansing apple diet to rid ourselves of our excesses.
I have two additional healthy intentions:
· To switch to one or two meals weekly of beans and legumes, with little or no meat: since my husband is the cook, I must convince him this is a good idea. So, while in Boulder I purchased a bean cookbook. To make this happen I may have to cook these meals – I haven’t cooked for over 27 years.
· To return to my exercise regimen: weekly bicycling, kayaking and Nordic Track plus yoga multiple times a week. I slacked off last quarter due to a variety of reasons, one of which was the cold weather.
If I fail to accomplish these goals, I’ll stay attuned to my reasons – aka excuses, like it’s too cold to kayak today.
Best-selling author Bob Greene, Oprah’s former personal trainer said, “I’ve heard every excuse on the planet – except a good one. Having an excuse is an obstacle that you choose to place in front of yourself. … in general, we do it to justify not changing. When you are out of excuses is when you are ready to change.”
Which excuses justify you not changing? Do your knees hurt? Maybe your job exhausts you so much that you can do nothing when you get home but veg out. Whatever your excuses, bring them to your conscious mind and admit that you just don’t want to do whatever it is you’re considering. Keeping excuses conscious versus automatic (unconscious) gives you more power to change someday.
Also, strengthen your motivation for healthy change by using intrinsic reasons that benefit you rather than someone else. The day of each week I target for my Nordic Track session isn’t a day I say, “Yippee! I get to do the Nordic Track today.” I just do it because I’m committed to strength, energy, health, flexibility, etc., all intrinsic reasons to work out.
Greene encourages you to look for some form of activity that fits you. Distract yourself while doing it if that would help, like watch TV as you march in place. Make a t-shirt for yourself with “No excuses” printed on it. Eat modestly and healthfully five days a week leaving two days to eat whatever you like. Do whatever works for you.
As one reformed couch potato said, “There is no excuse good enough for poor health.”
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Children can overcome abuse, deal with trauma
Victims of sexual assault struggle
Stress for Success
February 8, 2011
In recent articles (http://stressforsuccess.blogspot.com) I’ve covered how vulnerable children are lured into sex-trafficking due to their desperation. S/he’s:
· Likely running away from an abusive home, therefore homeless;
· Alone and frightened;
· Just a kid.
A seemingly protective man, and sometimes a woman, offers to protect them. What would you do?
Beyond predatory traffickers/pimps who are preying on vulnerable kids, there’s a sad reality that makes them more vulnerable to this nightmare: early and repetitive childhood sexual trauma.
Sexual abuse harms victims’ mental, emotional, spiritual and physical development. The following description is adapted from “Childhood and Adult Sexual Victimization” by Parson, Brett and Brett.
A victim of repetitive childhood sexual abuse undergoes damage to her still-developing personality. The abuse shatters her very spirit, which is much more difficult to heal than mental and physical damage.
“Mind, body, and spirit” implies that spirit is part of the total self. Rather, spirit permeates all. It represents her essence. It holds the fabric of the self together. Spirit:
· Provides her with a healthy self-centeredness: a sense of her unique self;
· Is the natural belief that her self is her priceless, personal possession, worthy of protection and respect;
Sexual assaults devastate his spirit and self-respect. His natural social tendencies are haunted by constant vulnerability, resulting in blameless availability for adult abuse. The child goes from being spirit-filled and alive to essence-defused and empty. The degraded self may be drained of most traces of feeling human.
Contributing immeasurably to the child’s helplessness is the blaming the child for the incest while the adult denies responsibility. The abuse is committed on someone who is least able to protect himself from immoral adult power.
After repetitive abuse the child’s changed view of self is the essence of his stress. He’s robbed of his free will, spontaneity, and autonomy. His patterns of perceiving, trusting, and acting are drastically altered based on many secrets too terrible to face. He’s forced into secrecy with threats of exposure, abandonment, fear of repeated sexual injuries, and further humiliation. He’s constantly wary around adults.
He’s forced to grow up fast, learning how to survive. To survive he navigates his dangerous terrain through hyper-vigilance to adult mood and behavioral cues of impending abuse. He maneuvers around them. He de-activates the mines before they explode through good behavior and an appeasing manner to avert adult depravity. Running away becomes a viable option.
His spirit dims; her laughter is extinguished. Their environment is a place where no joy, hope, and love are allowed to flourish. There’s only emotional and spiritual darkness, helplessness, and buried rage to be resurrected at a later time, and unleashed suddenly on unsuspecting targets, including the self.
They live in a persistent state of stress-induced burnout due to near-constant paranoid expectations of attacks. Being chronically revved-up is akin to living in an internal police state.
What’s profoundly remarkable is that these children find a way to survive. Their strength and ingenuity are integral parts of trauma therapy, which can help. To find trauma therapists in our area go to http://www.mhaswfl.org/.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Victims of sexual assault struggle
Stress for Success
February 8, 2011
In recent articles (http://stressforsuccess.blogspot.com) I’ve covered how vulnerable children are lured into sex-trafficking due to their desperation. S/he’s:
· Likely running away from an abusive home, therefore homeless;
· Alone and frightened;
· Just a kid.
A seemingly protective man, and sometimes a woman, offers to protect them. What would you do?
Beyond predatory traffickers/pimps who are preying on vulnerable kids, there’s a sad reality that makes them more vulnerable to this nightmare: early and repetitive childhood sexual trauma.
Sexual abuse harms victims’ mental, emotional, spiritual and physical development. The following description is adapted from “Childhood and Adult Sexual Victimization” by Parson, Brett and Brett.
A victim of repetitive childhood sexual abuse undergoes damage to her still-developing personality. The abuse shatters her very spirit, which is much more difficult to heal than mental and physical damage.
“Mind, body, and spirit” implies that spirit is part of the total self. Rather, spirit permeates all. It represents her essence. It holds the fabric of the self together. Spirit:
· Provides her with a healthy self-centeredness: a sense of her unique self;
· Is the natural belief that her self is her priceless, personal possession, worthy of protection and respect;
Sexual assaults devastate his spirit and self-respect. His natural social tendencies are haunted by constant vulnerability, resulting in blameless availability for adult abuse. The child goes from being spirit-filled and alive to essence-defused and empty. The degraded self may be drained of most traces of feeling human.
Contributing immeasurably to the child’s helplessness is the blaming the child for the incest while the adult denies responsibility. The abuse is committed on someone who is least able to protect himself from immoral adult power.
After repetitive abuse the child’s changed view of self is the essence of his stress. He’s robbed of his free will, spontaneity, and autonomy. His patterns of perceiving, trusting, and acting are drastically altered based on many secrets too terrible to face. He’s forced into secrecy with threats of exposure, abandonment, fear of repeated sexual injuries, and further humiliation. He’s constantly wary around adults.
He’s forced to grow up fast, learning how to survive. To survive he navigates his dangerous terrain through hyper-vigilance to adult mood and behavioral cues of impending abuse. He maneuvers around them. He de-activates the mines before they explode through good behavior and an appeasing manner to avert adult depravity. Running away becomes a viable option.
His spirit dims; her laughter is extinguished. Their environment is a place where no joy, hope, and love are allowed to flourish. There’s only emotional and spiritual darkness, helplessness, and buried rage to be resurrected at a later time, and unleashed suddenly on unsuspecting targets, including the self.
They live in a persistent state of stress-induced burnout due to near-constant paranoid expectations of attacks. Being chronically revved-up is akin to living in an internal police state.
What’s profoundly remarkable is that these children find a way to survive. Their strength and ingenuity are integral parts of trauma therapy, which can help. To find trauma therapists in our area go to http://www.mhaswfl.org/.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Human sex-trafficking is a horrific crime
Stress for Success
January 25, 2011
Got enough stress?
Compared to that of sex-trafficking victims, I assume yours is miniscule.
January is human-trafficking awareness month. This horrific crime came to my professional attention through a curriculum I’m writing for Beauty from Ashes Ministries, a local nonprofit that supports those in the sex-trade and adult entertainment worlds to leave those industries.
Here’s what I’m learning:
§ Federal law defines severe human sex trafficking as a commercial sex act induced by force, coercion OR in which the person induced to perform such an act is under 18, eliminating the “consensual sex” argument with someone under 18;
§ Domestic minor sex trafficking victims are US citizens or lawful permanent residents under the age of 18 who’ve been recruited, harbored, transported, provided or obtained to perform commercial sex acts defined as any sex act done in exchange for monetary or non-monetary gain. Examples include:
o Pimps prostituting someone under 18;
o Parents prostituting their child for rent or drugs;
o Trading a sex act with a minor for basic needs like shelter or food, known as “survival sex;”
o Street prostitution, escort services or Internet-aided prostitution;
§ Nationally 450,000 children run away – or are thrown away - from home annually so there’s an abundant supply of vulnerable children;
§ An estimated 100,000 to 300,000 adolescents annually are victims of trafficking (National Report on Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking 2009;)
§ American children are easier to recruit and sell than foreign victims because there’s no need to cross borders;
§ 30% of shelter youth and 70% of street youth are victims of commercial sexual exploitation (Shared Hope International;)
§ One in three teens on the streets is ensnared into prostitution within 48 hours of leaving home – 150,000 annually;
§ Shared Hope International reveals pimps commonly sell under-age girls for $400/hour, 10 – 15 times a day, six days a week, totally 9,360 – 14,000 sex acts a year for which the girls receive no money;
§ The average age of entry into pornography and prostitution in the U.S. is 12! (The US Department of Justice Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section);
§ 66-90% of adult sex workers were sexually abused as children (Violence Against Women, 2004;)
Think about the vulnerability of these children: most are running away from one abusive situation - their homes - right into another where traffickers/pimps are waiting to exploit them (more on understanding these children next week.) How would any 12-year-old you know hold up under such conditions?
Human trafficking is a multi-billion dollar industry. It’s the second largest and fastest growing criminal industry in the world (UN Office on Drugs and Crime, 2008.) Ninety percent takes the form of sexual exploitation. Gangs increasingly prostitute minors for prestige (imagine that!) and income; it’s fast replacing drugs as their main revenue source.
Sadly, Florida is the third highest trafficking state.
These horrific crimes wouldn’t exist if there weren’t a demand for sex with children. And the “product for sale” is most commonly local American children.
For more information, go to www.beautyfromashes.org.
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
