Holidays can bring on blues

Learn about the common stressors and how to cope

Stress for Success

December 12, 2012


According to Madison Avenue, Christmas is always 100% happy, loving and generous. Do your holidays live up to these expectations? Do anyone’s? If not, this time of year can be very stressful.

Even if you measure up well, it’s a time of frenetic cleaning, decorating, baking, shopping, wrapping, going to and hosting parties, all potentially leading to exhaustion.

A key to coping is to know that we’re all more vulnerable to stress right now and to keep the increased activity, overindulgences, and unrealistic expectations from overwhelming you.

Here are some of the most common holiday stressors to protect yourself from:
• Relationships: Historically tumultuous ones can be particularly toxic, especially if you’re with your family of origin where reverting back to childhood roles triggers each other’s hot buttons.
• If you’ve lost a loved-one, the holidays may leave you very lonely and depressed.
• Finances: Money stress can occur any time but takes on new dimensions if you overspend on gifts, travel, etc.
• Exhaustion: The vicious cycle of stress-causing fatigue may leave you less likely to exercise and meditate, which increases your stress. Overindulgence of food and liquor can push you overboard.

Here are some holiday stress coping tips:
• Treat yourself kindly; accept your imperfections. Do something you find special. Focus on the importance of Christmas vs. buying stuff. Appreciate the efforts you make to create a positive experience for your loved ones.
• Put your mind into neutral and commit to not letting other’s irritating behaviors upset you. Avoid difficult people, if possible. Save any confrontations for the New Year. If someone else gets easily upset, give him a break; he’s probably over-stressed, too. An excellent holiday mantra is, "This too shall pass."
– Instead of picturing things going wrong, picture them going well. Prepare yourself mentally to positively handle what could go wrong and appreciate the positive.
• Be realistic: Let go of Hallmark expectations that everything must be perfect. If there's a spot on your tablecloth, put something over it vs. fuss about it. Virtually no one cares. And if someone does, don’t invite her next year.
• Stick to your budget: Decide how much you can afford and stick to it. To avoid over-spending leave your credit cards at home and take only the cash you've budgeted. You can’t buy love or friendship. Explain to your kids if you can’t afford something they want. Knowing there are limits is good for them.
• Set appropriate limits: Prioritize invitations, requests and responsibilities. Commit only to what’s realistically achievable.
• Plan ahead: Include your family in making a list of and dividing additional responsibilities. Decide who will do what. (If you do it all yourself you’ll teach them to do nothing.)
• Self-care: Over-eat and -drink on Christmas if you must, but not for the next two weeks. Take daily 15-minute breaks to refresh each day. Get plenty of exercise and drink lots of water to keep up your energy.
• Be grateful: Help those who are less fortunate. Catch your loved ones doing something right. As you prepare everything remember your love for those for whom you’re doing it.

If you still have the holiday blues talk to someone you trust. Keep up your normal routine and know that this too shall pass.

Merry Christmas!

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., of InterAction Associates, is a trainer and a Stress Coach. E-mail her at www.jackieferguson.com or call 239-693-8111 for information about her workshops on this and other topics or to invite her to speak to your organization.

Managing stress is especially important for those with cancer

Stress for Success

November 13, 2012

It’s vitally important for those with serious illnesses to manage stress well because chronic stress causes body tissue to adapt to higher cortisol levels - a stress hormone - so it loses its effectiveness in regulating inflammation. Unceasing inflammation aids the development and progression of heart disease, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, depression, and cancer.

Unless you’ve experienced a serious disease, like cancer, you can’t understand the stress of it. But here’s a small peek into the life of my Symphonic Chorale “palo-alto,” Mary Ann Elder. Her experience with cancer doesn’t speak for others with cancer. This is simply part of her story.

Mary Ann said, “I was exercising when the first symptoms occurred four years ago. Then there was the crisis of going to the ER in intractable pain, the tests and then the news.” With no warning signs, she was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive uterine cancer with a poor prognosis; it acts like ovarian but it’s not as treatable. Therapies routinely approved for ovarian are denied uterine cancer patients so she has also experienced the stress of fighting insurance denials.

Mary Ann was approved for SSDi very quickly after the first recurrence, which, she says, “was sobering since one criteria is having a terminal illness. I’m now in treatment for the second recurrence. Three of my online friends, diagnosed around the same time, have died in the last year.”

Mary Ann, a social worker, has practiced healthy lifestyle habits and sees herself as a strong person with a “can do” attitude. She proceeded to educate herself on her disease and its treatments.

“Early on I read O. Carl Simonton’s classic book, “Getting Well Again”. His premise is that stress contributes to illness and we need to change how we react to it to get and stay well. It helped me learn about the mind-body connection. I did his exercises, taking note of my stressors in the 18 months preceding diagnosis, analyzing my feelings and thoughts and discussing these with a counselor. I learned meditation and guided imagery techniques and used them faithfully. These helped me get through the initial treatment, which I weathered well.” She stayed active in hobbies and worked full time.

Mary Ann came to an early awareness: she didn’t want to own or be defined by cancer. She gave it a name and now refers to it as “Chester.” She chose to continue to live her life.

She talked about three stages of abuse victims’ recovery:
1. Victim;
2. Survivor;
3. Thriver;

It’s not good enough for Mary Ann to see herself as a cancer survivor, as cancer media promotes. She’s a thriver. When asked where she was now that she’s back into treatment, she said, “I guess I’m a victim again.” But these three stages create a road map for her: she may be a victim right now who needs to move into the next stage to “survive” additional treatment. Then she can move into the thriver stage again.

Knowing her, I have confidence she’ll do just that.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

 

Situation management crucial to well-being

Stress for Success

November 20, 2012

Over the last decade, my husband and I have had three siblings and eight close friends battle cancer. Their grace through their experiences has always impressed me and given me hope that should I join their ranks some day, I, too, might handle it well.

One of the most graceful people I’ve ever known, dear friend Christy Speirn-Smith, has also gone through cancer and its treatment. She too handled it with great poise. She has strong feelings about what helped her get through it originally and what sustains her to this day. I thank her for sharing these ideas with us.

Christy said, “The number one most important lesson is to trust your intuition. No one else knows how you feel.”

She learned how important it is to heed her inner voice when she found a lump in her breast over six years ago and subsequently went to her doctor. She was told that there was no problem. Months later, her intuition insisted that something was wrong. So, she returned to her doctor. She was right. She had Stage 2 breast cancer and went through a lumpectomy followed by radiation and chemotherapy.

During the diagnosis and treatment phase she said she didn’t spend her energy worrying; she has never been a worrier. We discussed how much more difficult going through cancer and its treatment would be if you’re the type to worry or obsess over life’s stressors. Her lack of worrying almost certainly protected her physically because as I wrote last week, excessive stressful thinking dumps excessive cortisol into your body. This dumping of this stress hormone during chronic stress leaves body tissues adapting to higher cortisol levels and losing their effectiveness to regulate inflammation. Chronic inflammation aids the development and progression of heart disease, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, depression, and cancer.

Christy went on to say, “You must also take control for how to move forward with your treatment.”

This alone lowers stress at least a little because you’re taking your anxious energy and focusing it where it can do some good. So she educated herself about her illness and treatment options and found medical professionals she trusted. “You must connect with your caregivers,” she adds.

With her cancer several years in her rearview mirror, she remains responsibly vigilant. She’s not paranoid but she doesn’t believe in denial. If there’s a sign that something might be wrong she faces it and deals with it. In fact, right now she’s in the middle of dealing with another lump she found in her breast. Preliminary exams suggest it is not cancer but she is going through with full testing to make sure.

Finally, she stresses the importance of taking very good care of herself. The aftermath of her treatment provides daily reminders of what she went through. She still experiences neuropathy and pain that’s treated with medications, which drain her. “I fight the fight every day,” she said referring to these after-effects. It’s good that she’s also assertive because it allows her to set limits that protect her interests and her energy.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

 

Managing stress is especially important for those with cancer

Stress for Success

November 13, 2012

It’s vitally important for those with serious illnesses to manage stress well because chronic stress causes body tissue to adapt to higher cortisol levels - a stress hormone - so it loses its effectiveness in regulating inflammation. Unceasing inflammation aids the development and progression of heart disease, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, depression, and cancer.

Unless you’ve experienced a serious disease, like cancer, you can’t understand the stress of it. But here’s a small peek into the life of my Symphonic Chorale “palo-alto,” Mary Ann Elder. Her experience with cancer doesn’t speak for others with cancer. This is simply part of her story.

Mary Ann said, “I was exercising when the first symptoms occurred four years ago. Then there was the crisis of going to the ER in intractable pain, the tests and then the news.” With no warning signs, she was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive uterine cancer with a poor prognosis; it acts like ovarian but it’s not as treatable. Therapies routinely approved for ovarian are denied uterine cancer patients so she has also experienced the stress of fighting insurance denials.

Mary Ann was approved for SSDi very quickly after the first recurrence, which, she says, “was sobering since one criteria is having a terminal illness. I’m now in treatment for the second recurrence. Three of my online friends, diagnosed around the same time, have died in the last year.”

Mary Ann, a social worker, has practiced healthy lifestyle habits and sees herself as a strong person with a “can do” attitude. She proceeded to educate herself on her disease and its treatments.

“Early on I read O. Carl Simonton’s classic book, “Getting Well Again”. His premise is that stress contributes to illness and we need to change how we react to it to get and stay well. It helped me learn about the mind-body connection. I did his exercises, taking note of my stressors in the 18 months preceding diagnosis, analyzing my feelings and thoughts and discussing these with a counselor. I learned meditation and guided imagery techniques and used them faithfully. These helped me get through the initial treatment, which I weathered well.” She stayed active in hobbies and worked full time.

Mary Ann came to an early awareness: she didn’t want to own or be defined by cancer. She gave it a name and now refers to it as “Chester.” She chose to continue to live her life.

She talked about three stages of abuse victims’ recovery:

1. Victim;

2. Survivor;

3. Thriver;

It’s not good enough for Mary Ann to see herself as a cancer survivor, as cancer media promotes. She’s a thriver. When asked where she was now that she’s back into treatment, she said, “I guess I’m a victim again.” But these three stages create a road map for her: she may be a victim right now who needs to move into the next stage to “survive” additional treatment. Then she can move into the thriver stage again.

Knowing her, I have confidence she’ll do just that.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Psychological stress hurts your health

Stress for Success

November 6, 2012


Our largely science-based society tends to underplay the mind/body connection. Some research confirms the power of a positive attitude on health while other research disputes it. So, do your thoughts and feelings impact your health, or not?

Having studied the stress response for years, I assume there must be a strong connection between your psychological states, like chronic anger, your stress level, and your body’s ability or inability to defend against illness and disease development.

Recently, several studies have confirmed the importance of managing stress well for those fighting illness.

MD Anderson Cancer Center’s Lorenzo Cohen, professor of general oncology and director of the Integrative Medicine Program at the University of Texas, found that depression among patients with late-stage renal cell carcinoma was associated with an increased risk of death. His study was published in the journal PLOS ONE in August 2012.

The chief suspect in his study was cortisol, the stress hormone I’ve written so much about for years, and inflammatory pathways.

“This study is the next step in the process of understanding that emotional factors have an impact on biology, which can … influence outcomes in cancer,” says Cohen.

Cortisol is the adrenal gland produced hormone that’s triggered in response to stress and helps regulate the body’s inflammatory response. Normal cortisol levels should be higher in the morning then decrease throughout the day. But for patients experiencing chronic stress or depression, cortisol levels can remain higher throughout the day and night.

In Cohen’s study, patients with sustained higher cortisol levels had an increased risk of mortality. Through gene profiles, he documented the connection between the patient’s psychological state and survival time, which may stem from a “dysregulation in inflammatory biology.”

Also, a team of Carnegie Mellon University researchers led by Sheldon Cohen (unrelated to Lorenzo Cohen), professor of psychology and director of the Laboratory for the Study of Stress, Immunity and Disease, found that chronic stress was associated with the “body losing its ability to regulate its inflammatory response.” The researchers found that over an extended period of chronic stress, body tissue adapts to cortisol and loses its effectiveness in regulating inflammation.

“Inflammation is healthy when triggered in an attempt to fight infection,” says Lorenzo Cohen, “but chronic inflammation can advance the development and progression of many illnesses, including heart disease, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, depression, and cancer.”

One of the problems with this type of research is that causation between psychological stress and cancer survival is notoriously hard to establish: it would be unethical to stress cancer patients in order to monitor their stress response, after all. But expanding research of breast, ovarian and other cancers is strengthening the link between psychological stress and disease.

Cancer patients certainly need to manage the significant stress that accompanies this difficult disease by making stress management a vital part of cancer treatment, if not all inflammatory diseases. You could choose from psychiatric medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy, meditation, yoga, tai chi, or guided imagery, all of which have been shown to be effective in managing stress.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Feelings of control boost employee satisfaction

Stress for Success

October 30, 2012

A new study by Harris Interactive for Everest College has identified American workers’ top job stressors:

1. Low pay (reported by11%), the second time this was rated as #1;

2. Annoying coworkers (10%);

3. Commuting (9%);

4. Unreasonable workload (9%);

5. Working in a job that’s not their chosen career (8%);

6. Work-life balance (5%);

7. Lack of opportunity for advancement (4%);

8. The boss (4%);

Not all was negative in this report:

• Last year 9% reported their biggest fear was being fired; this year only 4% did;

• 26% said nothing about work stressing them out at all, up from 21% last year;

There were gender, educational and regional differences:

• 14% of women reported low pay was their biggest stressor; 8% of men said the same;

• 11% of women were stressed because their job wasn’t their chosen career versus 5% of men;

• 14% of those with high school diplomas or less cited low pay as their first concern, followed by annoying coworkers;

• College graduates ranked unreasonable workload as their #1 (13%), followed by low pay (11%);

• Northeast workers reported workloads the most stressful;

• For Southern workers low pay was the #1 (14%);

• In the West, the top complaint was commuting (14%);

Perhaps not surprisingly, the highest concentration of employees who said nothing stressed them on the job (37%) were those making $100,000 or more!

During these economically tight times, employers could reduce employee stress while improving motivation and growth without spending a dime: give them more control.

In 1976 Richard Hackman and Greg Oldham reported that increased control enhanced motivation and growth for most positions. In 1979 Robert Karasek found that workers whose jobs were high in job demands but low in employee control over decisions reported significantly more exhaustion after work, trouble awakening in the morning, depression, nervousness, anxiety and insomnia than other workers. When workers facing high demands had more control, their stress decreased.

Updating these earlier findings is a 2002 survey of 604 employees by the Society for Human Resource Management and USA Today showing 94% of those polled consider autonomy and independence “very important” or “important” to job satisfaction.

Just one business example of putting this concept into practice comes from Ford Motor Company who in the early 1990s increased productivity, quality and job satisfaction by shifting its manufacturing operations at their Romeo, MI engine plant to a team-based approach giving employees far greater control over their work. Rather than being told what to do, employees talked directly to suppliers about parts, researched better ways to run equipment, and took independent action to eliminate product defects. This was so successful that Ford expanded it to virtually all employee targets allowing them to find ways to accomplish them.

What a bargain! Employers can improve job satisfaction without reducing actual workload or spending money.

So, how can you increase your employees’ work-related control? Ask them. I bet they have plenty of ideas.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Try Yoga meditation to reduce inflammation

Try Yoga meditation to reduce inflammation
Stress for Success
October 16, 2012


Anyone who regularly practices Yoga can attest to its many benefits. But new research suggests it’s even more advantageous than previously thought.

A study by Dr. Helen Lavretsky, professor of psychiatry at UCLA’s Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior, and colleagues discovered that practicing a brief, daily yogic practice, which included Kirtan Kriva Meditation (KKM), reduced stress levels of people who care for those with Alzheimer’s and dementia. They worked with 45 family dementia caregivers and found that 68 of their genes responded differently after KKM, resulting in reduced inflammation.

One group of caregivers learned KKM and practiced it 12-minutes daily at the same time for eight weeks. The other group was asked to relax in a quiet place with their eyes closed while listening to instrumental relaxation music, also for 12 minutes daily for eight weeks. Blood samples were taken at the beginning of the study and again at the end of the eight weeks.

“The goal of the study was to determine if meditation might alter the activity of inflammatory and antiviral proteins that shape immune cell gene expression,” said Lavretsky. “Our analysis showed a reduced activity of those proteins linked directly to increased inflammation.”


Since caregiving for a family member can be a significant life stressor it puts the caregiver at greater risk for health problems. Dr. Lavretsky reports, “On average, the incidence and prevalence of clinical depression in family dementia caregivers approaches 50 percent.” They also show higher levels of inflammation biological markers, often have weakened resilience to stress and an increased rate of cardiovascular disease.

Therefore, these findings are very important. Since it is known that continual inflammation contributes to a host of chronic health problems, this simple meditation could prove t be very valuable.

I researched KKM on-line and discovered it’s a Kundalini Yogic practice that uses chanting and finger poses (mudras). It reduces stress, increases brain circulation, and facilitates focus. Here are directions to practice it:

1. Sit in an upright position on the floor or in a straight backed chair. Rest your hands on your knees with palms facing upwards.

2. Chant the syllables Sa, Ta, Na, Ma; lengthen the ending of each sound as you repeat them, aaaaaaaaah.

3. Touch your index finger tip to the tip of your thumb as you chant Sa.

4. Touch your middle finger tip to the tip of your thumb as you chant Ta.

5. Touch your ring finger tip to the tip of your thumb as you chant Na.

6. Touch your pinky tip to the tip of your thumb as you chant Ma.

7. Chant the following sequence. Chant:

• Out loud for 2 minutes;
• In a whisper for 2 minutes;
• Silently for 4 minutes;

• In a whisper for 2 minutes;

• Out loud for 2 minutes;

Even if this seems foreign to you, why not try it? It won’t hurt you and maybe, just maybe it will help you deal with your caregiver stress, or any stress for that matter.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Good family stress management habits important to kids

Stress for Success

October 2, 2012
I’m forever grateful my parents were great stress managers. They seldom reacted over-emotionally and didn’t solve my problems for me but taught me how to think for myself by asking me what my options were in dealing with them. Most importantly, they gave unconditional love, allowing me to risk learning and trying new approaches to challenges.

Parents are definitely kids’ primary stress management role models. How do you handle life’s ups and downs? Is this how you want your kids to handle them? Do you stuff emotions, release them through gasket-blowing or express them appropriately? Do you cope well with what’s beyond your control? All of your habits are observed and learned by your kids.

According to Dr. Rebekah Evans, an Arkansas psychologist, “Many people don’t realize (they’re) already practicing healthy stress management techniques …, such as getting enough sleep and openly communicating as a family. … A foundation of healthy habits makes difficult life situations easier to navigate. This school year, make a point of strongly supporting healthy habits and trying out new ones … as a family.”

The Arkansas Psychological Association recommends the following healthy habits:

• Exercise is the natural stress reliever and increases the production of endorphins. Demonstrate to your kids that physical fitness is fun, important, and necessary for healthy living. Have your children devote at least an hour per day to physical activity.

• Balance your diet at home to teach your kids how to make healthy food choices when they’re away from you and tempted by the plethora of garbage. Toss out the crap food and stock up on fresh vegetables and fruits.

• Put your kids on a regular sleep schedule. According to the Mayo Clinic, school-aged children should get 10 to 11 hours of sleep per night. A lack of sleep can negatively affect their moods, behaviors and physical health. Create a relaxing evening ritual for your family to unwind together before bedtime.

• Balance your kids’ extracurricular activities to avoid burnout from over-commitments. Assess how their activities affect their school work and relationships and limit these activities and your own commitments to reduce stress. As I wrote last week, declare one day weekly as a no-activities day for all. Use that day to connect in a positive way with your family. Your kids may complain about it but once you work to make it a positive experience, they’ll eventually look forward to it.

• Improve communication with your kids, vital to creating a healthy home environment. Talking about problems helps virtually everyone. Put your foot down and insist on sit-down dinners at least a few times a week with no electronic gadgets at the table. Again, the kids may complain but this is tradition worth encouraging. Meal time can offer indirect communication opportunities, which older kids respond more positively to versus sitting them down to talk about something you’re concerned about.

Establish healthy family patterns for the entire school year and beyond. For more information on family stress management, go to www.apa.org/helpcenter.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Manage kids’ extracurricular activities to lower family stress
Stress for Success
August 28, 2012

Remember when after-school activities were typically neighborhood kids playing whichever game with no adult supervision until their mothers called them for dinner?

Today it’s different: kids are enrolled in any and all classes they – or you the parent – have an interest in to provide those sweet darlings with skill building activities. Since most are after school, everyone hits the race-track to fit everything in.

Extracurricular activities are great as long as they don’t turn from an enjoyable challenge to stress. So limit activities, even if that means just one activity per season.

Extracurricular activities certainly benefit children. They:
• Build self-esteem;

• Help kids make new friends;

• Teach them how to be team players;

• Improve school performance;

• And importantly, keep kids from becoming inactive TV watchers and video game players, packing on the pounds as the sedentary years march by;

Consider these ideas to create a healthy lineup of activities for your kids, which will also help avoid burnout for all. Since you’re the parent and in charge (you are in charge, right?) make sure their schedule works for you, too.

1. Help your kids prioritize and choose activities that match their interests versus doing anything that looks exciting. Mostly, let them choose their own activities since pressuring them into something YOU’RE interested in may create tension.

Your answers to these questions can help decide which activities to sign up for. Is the activity:
• Meaningful? Would it be beneficial to your child now or later?

• Interesting to your child?

• Within your time and resources?

• Located in an area that fits your schedule?

2. Insist on one family day per week with no outside activities to build family time and to avoid burnout.


3. Start slow with new activities and encourage personal responsibility in choosing what to do. Instead of automatically buying the best equipment for a new endeavor simply because your son’s interested in the activity, require that he commit to a full class or season before upgrading the equipment. Have him demonstrate he’ll stick with it. This also keeps him from irresponsibly jumping in and out of activities willy-nilly.

4. Reduce commute time by choosing classes close by when possible, arranging carpooling where possible and running errands in that part of town when you drive.

5. Keep all kids’ commitments on a family calendar posted where all can see. List who’s doing what, where, when and how they’re getting there.

6. Look for signs of boredom and stress: does he procrastinate on practicing or even attending? Does he worry excessively about it? Find out why. Speak with his instructor to gain additional insight into the worth of the activity for him.

7. Adapt involvements as your children mature to accommodate increased commitments elsewhere.

Kids, like adults, can’t do it all; that’s why prioritizing is important. And never underestimate the importance of kids playing with kids with no supervision. It offers skills supervised activities don’t. And, not every moment of their “free time” needs to be scheduled.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Hotheads often blow up because of unrealistic expectations
Stress for Success
August 14, 2012

A supervisor I had during college was a good guy but had the temperament of an angry 4-year-old. He pitched fits at the drop of a hat. Shortly after yelling at someone he’d act normally toward her oblivious to her seething.

This is typical of many hotheads. Minutes after they explode they’re fine again wondering why you’re still upset.

Another commonality is that some chronically angry people are unassertive, building up reservoirs of frustration and anger to be dumped onto someone who triggers their temper. Then, watch out!

If you’re chronically angry and would like to reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease, not to mention improve your relationships, here are three steps to better manage your temper.

First, become much more consciously aware that you’re uncomfortable with your temper. This is required to motivate you to do the hard work of change.

A married couple developed a tiresome dance of anger over their 25-year relationship. She’s a smothering-mothering-type wife who continually tells her husband what to do, which is met by his angry outbursts. They’re very uncomfortable to be around.

Recently he became more conscious of his angry reactions. He learned, after yelling at her, to back his way out of his attack. This growing awareness gave him more power to change future angry reactions.

To increase awareness, become an observer of yourself. Notice when your blood pressure shoots up in anger and notice others’ reactions to your outbursts. You don’t need to change anything yet. Just observe. The more conscious you become the easier it will be to ultimately change your behavior.

Second, determine if your expectations in the situation are realistic. Anger is often triggered by unmet expectations. Those with hair-trigger tempers usually have very unrealistic expectations.

The husband above expects his wife to stop mothering and smothering. She’s in her 60s; do you think she’s going to change? Why does he continue to expect something different? He increases his stress by continuing to expect something beyond his control.

Finally, always bring the solution for a given stressor back to yourself. Restate what you want in a way that’s within your control to get. Instead of hoping she’ll change, he needs to develop a goal that’s within his control like accepting her as she is and being more assertive with her. This implies his options include:

• Breaking his angry retaliation habit;

o Looking for humor in their interaction style could help;
• Asserting himself with her vs. yelling at her, requesting she not mother him;
• Divorcing her if her smothering is a divorceable issue;

All your emotions are your responsibility to manage. As long as you blame outside forces (people or situations) for your feelings and reactions, you’ll never be in charge emotionally. You’ll also lack the ability to change your ineffectual ways; a very powerless and stressful way to live.

Increasing awareness of your anger and adjusting your expectations also help you see additional options for handling your difficult situations, improving your heart health along the way.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Be perfect on most important tasks only

Stress for Success

July 24, 2012

Why do some people need to have life be perfect? What are they afraid might happen if it isn’t? That they’ll be perceived as imperfect themselves? Why is that so bad?


Whatever drives an individual perfectionist, there’s help to overcome this stressful and fruitless tendency.


The most important lessons I learned in minimizing my own perfectionism was from my still favorite time management book, “How to Put More Time into Your Life” by Dr. Dru Scott (1980). She points the finger of blame for mismanaging time at personality traits, including perfectionism.


Dr. Scott encourages you to keep a time log at work and at home for one week. Every 15 - 30 minutes jot down what you just did: for example, you had a conference call for 30 minutes. List the meeting time – 8:30 – 9:00 - and brief notes about with whom you met and about what.


Scott then presents three categories into which everything you do can be divided:

• Central: The most important things you do leading most directly toward your top personal and professional goals. Her advice for these is to set aside the best time of your day with the fewest interruptions to focus on them. Include healthy self-care activities here, which is central to accomplishing everything else in your life.

• Secondary: The activities you must do, like bill paying, but they don’t lead you toward important goals. Schedule a specific time to do these tasks, like switch paying bills when they come in to paying them every Saturday morning.

• Marginal: The nit-picky details that don’t contribute to your important priorities, like chitchatting at work or house cleaning. Do marginal things only when you have nothing more important to do.


For many perfectionists, self-care doesn’t appear in any category. “I don’t have time,” is their complaint. Make it a priority and schedule time for it by putting marginal tasks where they belong: at the bottom of your list.


Categorize everything on your completed time log as central, secondary or marginal. (You can do this only by knowing your top goals and priorities.)


You’ll likely notice you spend an inordinate amount of time on marginal and secondary tasks. Lots of perfectionism falls into these categories. With increased awareness of Scott’s categories you can catch yourself investing too much energy into unimportant project details proving that you have more time than you thought. Reinvest that energy into more important tasks freeing up your time.
From my time log, I was shocked by how much time I spent on secondary and marginal tasks. This awareness (the first step to any change) motivated me to decrease my perfectionism on lower priority items and allowed it free reign on central tasks.

Whether a perfectionist or not, I challenge you to keep a time log for one week. If you’re expending more time on unimportant things to the detriment of higher priorities, realign your time investments. At least be imperfect on lesser tasks thereby reducing some stress that perfectionism creates.


Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Life still goes on without perfectionism
Stress for Success

July 17, 2012



You’re racing out the door on your way to work and out of the corner of your eye you notice a throw rug is turned up. What would you do: rush back to make it right or ignore it?


Or when you look in the mirror, do you see mostly what’s wrong with your appearance versus what’s right?


How do you think perfectionists would answer?


Take it from a recovering perfectionist, life really does go on when you let go of some of your too-high expectations of yourself and others. Plus, more realistic expectations lead to lower stress.


Women more than men, have been socialized to be perfect: perfectly nice and polite (I exaggerate only a little), to NEVER hurt anyone’s feelings, and to always be clean and smell good (this goes for their homes as well). And women are not to lose their tempers; it’s very unladylike.


I’ve known many a male perfectionist in my day but far more women.


Part of the problem for any perfectionist, male or female, is that we judge others by our own impossible standards. Who can live up to them? Because so few do we can become very judgmental of those who don’t, which creates more conflict.


Here’s a perfect (forgive the pun) definition of a perfectionist: “One who takes great pains and gives them to others.” (Source unknown) Ask anyone who works for or lives with a perfectionist. They appreciate this definition.


When you’re a perfectionist, you have multitudes of unmet expectations daily; therefore you compound normal every-day stress unnecessarily.


To decrease your perfectionist expectations of others start with this rule (be careful how you read this):


• “I won’t should on you if you won’t should on me.” (Source unknown)


When someone disappoints you, listen for the “shoulds” in your assessment of what’s wrong. For example, your boss didn’t give you any positive feedback on your recent project when everyone else told you how great it was. You heard yourself think or say to others, “I don’t understand bosses who give no positive feedback. I always compliment my employees.” The implied “should,” “She should give positive feedback.”


No doubt a boss “should” praise employees’ good work. But has she in the past? If not, what leads you to expect her to do so now? The stress is that in your perfectionist (and judgmental) eyes, it’s realistic to expect she’ll change. When she doesn’t (again) you’re stressed all over.


Can you also see the judgment of the boss is based on your own shoulds? “I always compliment my employees so other bosses should, too.” When you hold others to your own perfectionist standards you not only set yourself up for disappointment and stress, you also put yourself into the being the judge and jury of what is good. “Who died and left you in charge”, others whom you judge may wonder.


Stop shoulding on yourself and others. The degree to which you are successful will be the degree to which you’ll lower your stress.


Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Stress reduction themes from 408 articles
Stress for Success

July 3, 2012

This is my 408th article since November, 2003! Over the years there have multiple themes that keep reappearing. This week, I’m, highlighting four of these as a reminder of some of the most important lessons in managing stress.


First and foremost is the stress truism: stress is in the mind of the beholder. The bulk of your stress comes from how you perceive or interpret situations. Just look at drivers: some explode with road rage over the same situation that others just roll their eyes over. So stop blaming the situation or person you assume is causing your stress.


Hurling strong, negative labels at the others, like you’re stupid, rude, lazy, etc., means your perception is more of your stress than the event itself. The more strongly emotionally hooked you are, the more the stress is coming from yourself.


This is difficult to accept when you’re convinced, for example, your unfair boss is making your life miserable. But listen to what you think and say about her; the more negative your labels, the more your stress is coming from you. Your negative labels also mean you’re taking the situation personally. And this is where your stress reduction work can be accomplished. Instead of blaming the person, substitute your negative assumptions with asking, “What are my options?”


This leads to the second lesson: stop fussing and stewing over what’s beyond your control and problem-solve on what’s within your control. That ignorant moron of a driver is absolutely beyond your control. So is your unfair boss. The only thing within your control is how you choose to react. Blowing a gasket at them means you choose stress. Identifying options of how to deal differently with them means you choose stress management.


Choosing to react differently requires the third important theme: you must live consciously. When you automatically negatively judge others, you’re probably doing it unconsciously. You get emotionally hooked and Boom! Out comes your wrath. To become conscious you must observe yourself negatively labeling the other. Don’t change anything yet, just watch. Notice you’re pounding on the steering wheel at the ignorant moron of a driver. Notice you just labeled him an ignorant moron. Also observe that you’re yelling at him. Now, turn inward and become aware of your increased heart rate and faster breathing, both signs you’ve triggered your fight/flight response ordering the release of stress hormones to course through your system. Is the ignorant moron worth putting your health at risk? I hope not.


This leads to the fourth important point: every time you’re stressed by anything, little to huge, you release stress hormones into your body. You can tolerate a lot of this for a long time. But if it’s excessive and it lasts month after month, if not year after year, you’re doing unseen damage to your physical and emotional self and one day your physical roof caves in.


There are more themes but my 500 word limit is here. Thanks for reading my column over the years.


Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Conscious living is required in brain training techniques

Stress for Success

June 26, 2012

Thanks for indulging me while I’ve raved over recent weeks about the fascinating book, “Buddha’s Brain,” by Rick Hanson, PH.D and contributing author, Richard Mendius, MD (past articles at http://stressforsuccess.blogspot.com). Their brain re-wiring techniques give hope that we can all create greater emotional, thus behavioral, balance and control for ourselves.


Now it’s time to understand the importance of living consciously, or their skills won’t work.


The authors present their four stages of learning.


1. Unconscious incompetence: e.g., you reacted defensively (impatient or irritated, etc.) in a situation but weren’t aware of it;


2. Conscious incompetence: you reacted defensively and knew it;


3. Conscious competence: you could have reacted defensively, but chose not to;


4. Unconscious competence: your historic defensive reaction didn’t come up in the situation in which you’ve practiced re-wiring your brain. Your preferred way of reacting gradually becomes automatic;


To make desired changes you must “choose” more appropriate responses - consciously. You must be aware of:

• Your undesirable reaction;

• The discomfort it causes you;



For example, you want to stop over-eating to lose ten pounds by August 1. To succeed you must first become consciously aware of when you’re overeating, what you’re overeating, what triggers you to overeat, and the distress this causes you. Once consciously aware of these things, you’ve arrived at stage two above. To graduate to stage 3 you must consciously choose to not over-eat. Eventually, this conscious decision-making becomes unconscious, and you’ve arrived at stage 4.


Use brain training skills to help reach your goal. Start with this technique.
• You’re beginning to become consciously aware when you overeat. Now, identify the emotion you feel when you’re compelled to gorge, e.g., sadness.

• When you’re upset (e.g., sad) find a quiet setting and rate your level of upset from 1 (mild) to 10 (severe);

• Let go of what triggered the upset (it’s probably unconscious so you may not know what to let go of; continue anyway);

• In its place, imagine anything you find pleasant like a vacation spot or a fond relationship memory. Imagine this in detail for five minutes. Be specific with who, what and where.

• Rate your upset again from 1 – 10.


If you’re less upset it proves that imagining pleasant things alters your inner emotional landscape. Is it enough to deter you from over-eating? If not, keep practicing this technique. Invent a different pleasant memory. Spend more minutes imagining it more deeply until it works.


To facilitate brain training, also relax your body:
• Relax your jaws, eyes, tongue;

• Feel the tension draining away from your body and into the earth;

• Run warm water over your hands;

• Touch your lips;

• Breathe in and exhale to equal counts;

• Scan your body for tension and consciously release it;



I’d love to write 100 more articles on this book. Since that’s unreasonable, go out and buy it. It’s an easy read for non-scientists.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

More brain training techniques to calm emotions
Stress for Success

June 19, 2012

Emotions can bugger things up, can’t they? Accepting that most are triggered by “childhood hangovers,” and have less to do with your present situation than you assume, allows you to practice modern science techniques to train your brain to react differently.


In recent weeks I’ve shared ideas from “Buddha’s Brain,” by Rick Hanson, PH.D (past articles at http://stressforsuccess.blogspot.com.) Here are additional ideas to put you more in charge of your emotional life.


Accept these emotional truisms:


1. Automatic emotional reactions to stressors come from the primitive part of your brain. To minimize them you must re-wire your brain, requiring on-going practice.
2. No one else can make you feel any emotion. You choose, albeit often unconsciously, how to respond largely based on how your brain was wired early on and your ongoing beliefs.


For example, you respond to a co-worker with impatience, but why? Your answer indicates the belief that drives your emotional reaction. “I’m impatient because she’s an incompetent moron!” But her behavior doesn’t upset you. It’s your “moron” label that triggers your emotions.


To change your emotions change your answer to “why?” by using Alternative Explanations. What else could explain her behavior: she’s not trained well enough or she’s dealing with a huge stressor and isn’t thinking clearly. Identify at least three alternative explanations, which don’t have to be accurate, and notice how each influences your emotions. This proves that her actions don’t cause your upset. Your story explaining why she acted as she did does.


Here’s another technique to change your emotional reaction (e.g., impatience) to how you’d prefer to respond (e.g., with patience). Recall for several minutes an experience from your life when you were very patient. How did your body feel? Imagine this when you’re feeling impatient and notice your annoyance diminish and gradually move patience to the forefront of your mind and impatience to the background.


A variation on this skill is to imagine the same impatient situation but respond with another emotion, like sadness. The point again is to prove what you focus on changes your inner emotional landscape.


Calming yourself is always helpful. Create distance between yourself and your difficult emotions by practicing equanimity. This doesn’t mean being apathetic or indifferent but rather being engaged just not troubled. Imagine the contents of your brain coming and going in a vast open space and accept:


• Feelings are just feelings;

• People are just being people;

• Thoughts are just thoughts;

• Boundless space surrounds them, dwarfing them;


Increasing equanimity helps engage your brain’s anterior cingulate cortex, which:
• Integrates your thoughts and feelings;

• Gathers information for problem-solving;

• Is the primary over-seer of your intentions, guiding your intentions and your actions;

So, in situations that trigger unwelcome emotions, consciously state your positive intent repeatedly. Before you’re with the person who triggers your impatience say to yourself, “I’m patient with her and listening to her.”


Brain training becomes easier the more you practice it. Gradually, those in-your-face emotions won’t surface so immediately.


Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Daily brain training can moderate moods
Stress for Success
May 29, 2012

Brain training based on current brain research can help diminish what haunts you mentally and cultivate better moods.
According to the authors of “Buddha’s Brain” Drs. Hanson & Mendius, to make progress on this, you must let go of regretting what has already happened and worrying about what the future may hold. Both the past and the future are beyond your control. All you can do is deal with is your present reality.
Evolving brain research, as covered in their excellent book, offers suggestions on how to shape your present reality to influence your future in a variety of ways. For instance, if you’re trying desperately to stop a defensive reaction to someone who hooks you emotionally, when you’re with this person take a very deep, slow breath and exhale more than you just inhaled. This breathing style triggers the relaxation response (the calming parasympathetic nervous system). It allows you to “choose” a more appropriate and hopefully calmer response. Doing this won’t guarantee you’ll actually change your defensive reaction but it facilitates the change if you want to make it badly enough.
Or when you relive an upsetting experience, like doing poorly in an interview, make yourself recall the feeling of an experience when you were very competent, impressive and successful. Relive the positive experience for several minutes. Allow the image to sink into every part of your mind and body. This gradually permeates the upsetting memory with a positive feeling.
Another small strategy done often that can gradually lead you to better mental states is to deliberately extend feelings of happiness. This increases the level of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which helps your attention stay focused.
The book’s authors tell us that doing little things like this throughout your days, month after month, changes your brain “from the inside out.” They caution that to be successful with the techniques you have to be kind to yourself and forgiving of whatever created in you the emotional states that now inhibit your happiness. You must simply accept that your only influence is in the here and now. Any blaming, complaining, worrying, or regretting what made you the way you are will only reinforce the moods you want to change, making them more difficult to alter.
The authors also say the major roadblocks your mind (your brain) constructs to inhibit change are usually ones that involve some kind of suffering. After all, it is only we humans who worry about the future, regret the past, and blame ourselves for the present. We become frustrated when we don’t get what we want and disappointed when others don’t behave as we wish they would. We become angry with other drivers on the highway, sad about seeing the same person in the mirror every morning.
But Drs. Hanson & Mendius share some very good news: since this anguish is constructed by the brain, the brain can also create other mental states like contentment. I’ll share more of their ideas next week
Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.

Knowledge of the brain helps balance your moods
Stress for Success

May 22, 2012



Moods are tricky things. Some come and go quickly, causing no real distress, but others are more obstinate. Some can be overwhelming causing depression or other uncomfortable mental states. But a better understanding of the brain and how it works can help you avoid emotions’ ¬¬¬¬¬¬all-consuming potential.



A fascinating book, “Buddha’s Brain” by Drs. Hanson & Mendius, explains some of the complexities of the brain. Their Foreword states, “Buddha’s Brain is an invitation to use the focus of your mind to harness the power of attention to enhance your life and your relationships … Synthesizing ancient insights from contemplative practice … with modern discoveries from … neuroscience, (the authors) have assembled a thought-provoking and practical guide that walks you step-by-step through awakening your mind.”


They start with some basic facts about the brain, including:

• It’s organ tissue weighing approximately 3 pounds with 1.1 trillion cells, including 100 billion neurons, each receiving about 5,000 connections or synapses from other neurons.

• Neurons communicate with each other. When a neuron fires, it sends signals to other neurons through its transmitting synapses telling them to fire or not.

• Typical neurons fire 5 – 50 times a second.

• Neural signals contain bits of information, which are mostly outside your awareness. Your nervous system moves this information around like your heart moves blood. These signals regulate everything from your stress response to remembering how to ride a bike to your personality tendencies.

• Your brain’s the primary mover and shaper of your mind. Even though it’s only 2% of your body’s weight it uses 20 – 25% of its oxygen and glucose. This should suggest you need to be more aware of what you eat knowing your diet also fuels your brain.

• The brain works as a whole system. Attributing a function, like attention or emotion, to just one part of the brain is usually an oversimplification.

The authors compare your very busy brain to a refrigerator: always humming away, performing its functions.

Scientists have learned more about the brain over recent decades than was learned in all of recorded history. The great news is much of what they’re discovering can teach us how to activate brain states that underlie healthy mental states, allowing you to influence your own mind and mood.


The authors begin to describe how by explaining three fundamental functions of the brain:


1. Regulation: Your brain regulates itself and its bodily systems through a combination of excitatory and inhibitory activity: green lights and red lights.

2. Learning: It learns through forming new circuits and strengthening or weakening existing ones.

3. Selection: It selects whatever experience has taught it to value. They point out, even an earthworm can be trained to pick a particular path to avoid electric shock.
 These functions operate at all levels of the nervous system and are involved in any important mental activity. Next week I’ll share more of the authors’ insights into the brain and how to use this information to facilitate healthier mental states and less stress.
 Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.






Accept Mother Nature’s survival emotions as normal
Stress for Success
May 15, 2012



Anger and fear have been called Mother Nature’s survival emotions because they prepare you to deal with threats by triggering your automatic, physical fight/flight response. This is partially accomplished by your amygdala, your brain’s fear center, which serves as your guard dog always keeping watch over your environment to spot possible threats. Just as a guard dog attacks first and asks questions later, sometimes your emotional reaction is an over-reaction and emotions run wild in your brain like an emotional pin-ball game.

Anger and fear are the umbrella emotions under which you’ll also find jealousy, aggravation, impatience, greed, etc. When you experience any of these emotions it means you perceive something as stressful. You perceive rightly or wrongly that you have insufficient control in the situation that has your attention.

If you don’t know when you’re stressed, use the presence of any of these emotions to increase awareness that you are. Immediately search for options in dealing with the situation since options equal a greater sense of control, which lowers stress.

Without these emotions, you’d be at a distinct disadvantage protecting yourself from life-threatening or typical run-of-the-mill stress. One purpose they serve is to focus your mind. The moment you notice stress your unconscious mind automatically narrows your attention to what’s truly important regarding the taxing situation. So if approached by a menacing person your unconscious brain automatically, actively searches for your options.

Fear also triggers the release of norepinephrine, the brain’s adrenaline, which makes your mind more alert when attention is important. This hormonal burst also stimulates the brain’s hippocampus, an important center for memory formation. This reaction, as all others, is for survival. If you encounter a life-threatening situation that is the same or similar to one you’ve experienced before, you’ll want to remember what happened the first time to help you deal with it this time.

Applied to a non-life-threatening situation like public speaking, if you experience a shaky voice or light-headedness know that it’s caused by the fight/flight response, which prepares you to physically fight or run away. Attractive options as they seem, you’re unlikely to punch someone or run away from your presentation. Rather, you slam on the brakes of this energy turning it into that shaky voice or queasy stomach.
 Earlier in my career when I experienced too much stress before a presentation, I’d pace the halls of the venue at which I was speaking, working off its physical energy. I’d also deep breathe focusing on exhaling to more counts than inhaled.

But many “performers” have learned that nervousness (fear) is a good thing if harnessed. A healthy amount of fear helps you focus like a laser beam on your stress-producing activity.
 On the other hand, any time you’re too relaxed you may lose focus as your mind wanders leading to a less-than-stellar performance.

Accept your stress emotions as perfectly normal. In truly life-threatening situations they increase your ability to survive. Trust them. In less dire situations they help you function more effectively with greater focus.


Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.














Fear is your friend
Stress for Success
May 8, 2012

Human brains and bodies are miracles. We all have great potential but usually don’t unleash it until “it’s unlocked by fear,” according to Jeff Wise, author of “Extreme Fear.”


Fear is typically an uncomfortable emotion to be avoided, but it’s a vital survival emotion intended to protect us. Since our ancient ancestors lived with potential perils on a daily basis nature provided them with a danger-response system that was automatic, swift and powerful to defend against attacking saber-toothed tigers.


Today we have the same system. It constantly monitors our surroundings routing sensory information into two paths, Wise says. One goes to the consciousness, where we observe and remember the sensory information. The other goes to the subconscious amygdala, which filters it for signs of danger. When danger is sensed, the amygdala triggers the automatic stress response so quickly we may react before we’re consciously aware there’s even a problem. It takes the conscious mind about half-a-second to perceive an outside event. The amygdala can respond in much less time: it receives signals from the ears and eyes in just twelve-thousandths of a second according to New York University neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux.


The amygdala’s triggering of the fight/flight response is what gives us the physical energy and strength required to fight or flee if the danger is imminent. If the threat is more remote the reaction may be to freeze. Once the threat is consciously considered you may thwart the amygdala’s automatic response: freezing at the sight of a snake on the hiking trail then relaxing when you get closer and see it’s only a stick.


The greater the threat, the greater your potential energy reserves, like the family who during Hurricane Charley fled the master closer to the other side of the house when the roof over the closet began to separate. Their fight/flight responses enhanced their physical and mental ability to escape to safety.


The amount of strength available to you must be limited, however, to avoid injury. If the situation is life-threatening risking injury may be worth it and your strength limit may increase. When facing physical peril your danger-response system prepares you to punch your attacker with a greater wallop but the stories of a mother lifting a car off of her child are exaggerated. A 100 pound person under great stress may lift 135 pounds but not a 3,000 pound car, according to Penn State kinesiologist Vladimir Zatsiorsky.


The fear response facilitates self-protection by also deadening pain. Under heightened stress the brain releases powerful analgesics whose painkilling effects can override significant pain. This capacity, however, can cause problems after the threat has been dealt with by causing injury to your body.


So, look at fear not as a negative emotion to be avoided but as a self-protective response. What do you sense you need protection from? That’s the issue that needs to be addressed and solved to soothe your fear. Let your fear motivate you to problem-solve whatever is stressing you rather than avoid it.


Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.