Good family stress management habits important to kids

Stress for Success

October 2, 2012
I’m forever grateful my parents were great stress managers. They seldom reacted over-emotionally and didn’t solve my problems for me but taught me how to think for myself by asking me what my options were in dealing with them. Most importantly, they gave unconditional love, allowing me to risk learning and trying new approaches to challenges.

Parents are definitely kids’ primary stress management role models. How do you handle life’s ups and downs? Is this how you want your kids to handle them? Do you stuff emotions, release them through gasket-blowing or express them appropriately? Do you cope well with what’s beyond your control? All of your habits are observed and learned by your kids.

According to Dr. Rebekah Evans, an Arkansas psychologist, “Many people don’t realize (they’re) already practicing healthy stress management techniques …, such as getting enough sleep and openly communicating as a family. … A foundation of healthy habits makes difficult life situations easier to navigate. This school year, make a point of strongly supporting healthy habits and trying out new ones … as a family.”

The Arkansas Psychological Association recommends the following healthy habits:

• Exercise is the natural stress reliever and increases the production of endorphins. Demonstrate to your kids that physical fitness is fun, important, and necessary for healthy living. Have your children devote at least an hour per day to physical activity.

• Balance your diet at home to teach your kids how to make healthy food choices when they’re away from you and tempted by the plethora of garbage. Toss out the crap food and stock up on fresh vegetables and fruits.

• Put your kids on a regular sleep schedule. According to the Mayo Clinic, school-aged children should get 10 to 11 hours of sleep per night. A lack of sleep can negatively affect their moods, behaviors and physical health. Create a relaxing evening ritual for your family to unwind together before bedtime.

• Balance your kids’ extracurricular activities to avoid burnout from over-commitments. Assess how their activities affect their school work and relationships and limit these activities and your own commitments to reduce stress. As I wrote last week, declare one day weekly as a no-activities day for all. Use that day to connect in a positive way with your family. Your kids may complain about it but once you work to make it a positive experience, they’ll eventually look forward to it.

• Improve communication with your kids, vital to creating a healthy home environment. Talking about problems helps virtually everyone. Put your foot down and insist on sit-down dinners at least a few times a week with no electronic gadgets at the table. Again, the kids may complain but this is tradition worth encouraging. Meal time can offer indirect communication opportunities, which older kids respond more positively to versus sitting them down to talk about something you’re concerned about.

Establish healthy family patterns for the entire school year and beyond. For more information on family stress management, go to www.apa.org/helpcenter.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.