Relationships good for health
Stress for Success
March 25, 2008


I have no doubt that emotional closeness with others is good for your health. As a young child it always fascinated me when I was sick how much better I felt when my mother was sitting at my bedside comforting me. Did her presence exert only the placebo effect or is there actual physiological healing due to someone’s empathetic presence?

There’s research that supports the link between relationships and physical health for people who have strong personal ties (like marriage, close family and friends, and/or involvement in social and religious groups.) It has been found that they recover more quickly from disease and live longer.

Social neuroscience, the study of how the brain referees social interactions, is adding to our understanding of how this might work.

"Mirror neurons" in the brain have been found to track the emotional flow and even intentions of the person we’re with. Then our own brains duplicate this perceived state by stimulating the same brain areas activated in the other person. It seems that this facilitates interpersonal synchronization of physiological changes.

Mirror neurons might explain why we tend to "catch" other people's emotional states. They may also explain rapport, the unconscious mirroring of another’s nonverbal behaviors and vocal patterns as you interact. The more you mirror one another the more in rapport you are, therefore the more trusting and cooperative you’ll be.

Harmonization of brain states, emotions and cardiovascular reactions between people have been studied in mothers and their infants, spouses arguing and people in meetings. Lisa M. Diamond and Lisa G. Aspinwall, a University of Utah psychologist, have reviewed decades’ worth of data and have found that emotional closeness allows the biology of one person to influence another’s.

As the University of Chicago’s John T. Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience, says, “In short, my hostility bumps up your blood pressure, your nurturing love lowers mine," making us each other's biological enemies or allies.

Even though there’s no definitive evidence that we affect each other’s physical reactions, consider these findings:
§ Women who waited alone for an electric shock during a functional magnetic resonance imaging study experienced heightened anxiety and a greater release of stress hormones versus women whose husbands held their hands. These women felt calm and their brains quieted, according to James A. Coan’s report last year in Psychophysiology. However, a woman whose hand was held by a stranger while she waited experienced little relief.
§ It’s also known that social rejection activates the zones of the brain that generate physical pain.
§ Sheldon Cohen, psychologist at Carnegie-Mellon University who studies the effects of personal connections on health, finds that a hospital patient's family and friends help by just visiting, whether or not they quite know what to say.

Close relationships, it seems, are important to your health and resiliency to illness. To protect yourself, keep your relationships in good shape. Surround yourself with people who are your biological allies and avoid or insulate yourself from those who are your enemies.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., of InterAction Associates, is a trainer and a Stress Coach. E-mail her at www.jackieferguson.com with your questions or for information about her workshops on this and other topics and to invite her to speak to your organization.