Grieving puts your body under tremendous stress
Survival fear may exacerbate
Stress for Success
May 25, 2010

Just like with any stress, the death of someone dear to you triggers your stress response along with its resulting hormonal releases, increasing your vulnerably to illness and disease development. But does losing a beloved also trigger a deep evolutionary fear perpetuating an on-going, therefore, a more damaging stress response?

Some researchers believe a survival mechanism is triggered when you lose a close loved one: the natural fear that having lost this person makes you yourself vulnerable to death. This comes from the very human, instinctual bond we have with our families for the survival purposes of protection and finding food. The severing of these bonds could literally mean death to ancestors when affected by such a loss.

So, losing a close loved one not only puts you into a state of grieving but at a very deep, instinctual level it may activate an amorphous anxiety that elevates your stress response on an ongoing basis leaving you stuck in a state of continuous anxiety. Because you don’t physically act on your stress energy but rather “stew in your own juices,” your body is put under tremendous stress. Just some of the symptoms of accumulating stress include:
* Loss of focus;
* Disrupted eating and sleeping patterns;
* Panic attacks;
* Shallow breathing;
* Digestion, metabolism and circulation changes;
* Less coordination possibly causing falls;
* Weakened immune system making you more vulnerable to colds, etc.;

Depending upon your condition before your loss, if the stress from grieving continues long enough you can be vulnerable to developing many physical symptoms or illnesses such as:
* Infection;
* Cardiovascular disease;
* Rheumatoid arthritis;
* Dry mouth;
* Leukemia, lymphoma;
* Lupus;
* Alcoholism and drug abuse;
* Pneumonia;
* Diabetes;
* Glaucoma;
* Malnutrition;
* Chronic itching;
* Depression;

When you’re grieving it’s important to know that you can protect yourself from these and other symptoms. A very important first step is to accept that your body is in a state of crisis and to take care of it exceptionally well for the foreseeable future (and for the rest of your life). Are you:
* Eating healthfully?
* Resting and relaxing enough?
* Taking enough time off from work?
* Exercising?
* Drinking enough water?
* Saying “no” to unimportant things?
* Seeking professional help if necessary?
* Treating yourself to a massage, music, etc.?
There’s no time table of when you “should” experience the different stages of grief nor how long it should take you to move through them. There is no certainty that your increased stress will cause any illness or contribute to the development of any diseases. The best way to ensure that you limit any potential physical and emotional consequences is to take very, very good care of yourself. Develop excellent self-care habits and continue them far beyond your time of grieving. You’ll reap the rewards of more energy and better mental and physical health to help you move into the next phase of your life when you’re ready.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.