Healthy relationships promote physical well-being
Stress for Success
January 9, 2006

Do healthy relationships really contribute to physical and mental well-being? Can they help you live longer? The answer to both seems to be yes.

A life without good friends would be a lonely and barren life indeed. But a life with them brings you fun, laughter and support, which are associated with less stress, increased longevity, and more happiness.

But how often do you run into a friend and say, "let's get together" and then never do? If you don’t set a date certain, you may never. In our crazy and frantic lives it can feel that it's just too difficult to make time to socialize.

It’s easier to spend hours a day on the computer or watching TV, both very solitary activities. Sure you can go into a chat room and “socialize” but it’s not the same as face-to-face relationships.

Here’s what's in it for you to spend more time developing positive relationships.

In a March, 2006 study presented at the American Psychosomatic Society meeting found a connection between hardening of the arteries and the quality of relationships. 150 older, married couples picked a topic of disagreement between them, such as money, and then were videotaped discussing it for six minutes.

“The comments of each were categorized as friendly or hostile, submissive or dominant/controlling. After the discussion, each couple had a C-T scan of their chest to look for evidence of hardening of the arteries.”

The more hostile the wife’s comments, the more hardening of her arteries; her arteries were even worse if she had a hostile husband.

Husbands who displayed more dominant/controlling behavior, or whose wives did, were more likely than other men to have more severe hardening of the arteries.

For women, hostility increases the risk of heart disease, and for men, dominant/controlling behavior does. Interestingly, women were unaffected by their own or their husbands’ dominant behavior, and men were unaffected by their own or their wives’ hostility.

This research suggests that learning to communicate in non-hostile and non-dominant/controlling ways could be as good for your heart as your marriage.

University of Virginia research found through brain scans that stressed women who hold their husbands’ hands show signs of immediate relief. Dr. James Coan, study author, studied several couples who rated themselves highly satisfied with their marriages. His results showed spouse handholding created a large decrease in the brain’s response to threat with a limited decrease in this response when holding the hand of a stranger.

Pets, too, can be good for your health. UCLA research is finding that having a pet might actually improve survival after a heart attack. Additional studies have found that having a pet relieves depression, reduces blood pressure and triglycerides, and improves exercise habits, all which can lower the risk of heart attacks.

On the other hand, relationships that are full of conflict and stress have a negative impact on your health affecting blood pressure, contributing to heart disease and other medical conditions. It's in your best interest to minimize or eliminate negative relationships in your life. This is the topic for next week.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., of InterAction Associates, is a trainer and a Stress Coach. E-mail her at www.jackieferguson.com or call 239-693-8111 for information about her workshops on this and other topics or to invite her to speak to your organization.