Enjoy Christmas, overcome stress
Stress for Success
December 25, 2007

The shopping is done, the gifts are wrapped, dinner’s ready (all of the gifts will be opened and the food consumed in a tiny fraction of the time it took prepare it), the family and the guests are gathering. It’s show time! It’s time to enjoy your loved ones and the reasons you celebrate today.

To enjoy today more with less stress focus on what Christmas means to you.

Christian beliefs celebrate the values of love, joy, hope and charity, etc. So when your sister Jean drives you nuts with her argumentative ways focus on your meaning of Christmas, which I assume includes love. Practice an underappreciated Christian value; acceptance of others as they are. (“Judge not lest ye be judged.”) Your aggravation with her won’t change her ways, it just aggravates you. Accept her and love her as she is (take a deep breath).

If you have a secular belief system Christmas is probably about gathering with loved ones. So when someone imbibes too much challenge yourself to look beyond it and to appreciate something about him; albeit perhaps when he’s sober.

For some, today is very painful because of the loss of a loved one. I wish there were words of wisdom to make this day less stressful. Certainly staying busy tends to help. But ultimately, grieving seems to require going through the difficult emotions vs. ignoring them or avoiding them. Journaling can help but probably just a little.

To find greater pleasure in today devise and repeat a mantra throughout the day, especially when something or someone is getting on your nerves. Identify two to three ways you need to “be” to side-step possible hassles. Would you need to be more patient? Less judgmental? A better listener? More assertive? Less Assertive? Calmer? Less defensive? Precede the two to three ways you need to be with, "I am …"

My favorite affirmation that I’ve used dozens of times over years is, "I'm calm and relaxed, accepting and gracious." It worked so well in the original situation for which I devised it that I've used it to center myself ever since. When I have it on my mind before I'm in a situation that’s likely to trigger me, I virtually always remain calm and relaxed, accepting and gracious. However, once I let my emotions get triggered, it's difficult to respond graciously.

Granted, it's a bit late to expect a new affirmation to work 100% for you, but by creating one right now and repeating it throughout the especially challenging moments today, you’ll center yourself so you can more likely “rise above” (as my mother always said) the events that trigger your stress reaction. Whenever you feel your blood pressure rising repeat your affirmation over and over (and take a deep breath).

Use your affirmation to bring yourself back to center to increase your ability to “be” as you want to be today.

Merry Christmas and strive to remain centered.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., of InterAction Associates, is a trainer and a Stress Coach. E-mail her at www.jackieferguson.com with your questions or for information about her workshops on this and other topics and to invite her to speak to your organization. Stress for Success