Loneliness is a stressful state of mind
Stress for Success
For February 5, 2013


When you spend time alone do you feel lonely or do you consider it a luxury? If lonely, do you often feel alone even when you’re with others?

Loneliness is a near universal experience, at least at times, and is very different from being alone. A sense of isolation can be experienced by the stay-at-home mother who craves adult companionship or the elderly man who has been widowed.

How you experience loneliness, the causes of it, and how to best respond to it are all very unique to you. The lonely mother seeking adult companionship will have very different needs than the person who has lost his spouse.

Kendra Cherry, who writes for About.com Guide, describes loneliness “as a state of mind versus a state of solitude.” She goes to say, “Loneliness makes you feel empty, alone and unwanted. People who are lonely often crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it difficult to connect with other people.”

Aloneness is the perception of feeling isolated. For example, the new widower can feel lonely even when surrounded by his friends and family.

Interestingly, one cause of loneliness, according to John Cacioppo, University of Chicago psychologist and a leading expert on loneliness, is strongly connected to genetics. Other causes may be situational, like moving to a new city or divorce. It can also be a symptom of depression or low self-esteem. If you don’t think highly of yourself, you may feel unworthy of others’ respect leading to isolation and loneliness.

For some, loneliness becomes a chronic lifestyle. Assuming this mental state is stressful to the individual, over time, it has potential serious health consequences, as does any chronic stress, including:

• Alcoholism and drug abuse;

• Weakened immune function;

• Mild to severe depression;

• Trouble sleeping;

• Weight gain;

• Cardiovascular disease and stroke;

• Growing antisocial behavior;

• Worsening of Alzheimer’s disease;

Cacioppo, co-author of “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection,” in a U. S. News and World Report interview reported, “Lonely adults consume more alcohol and get less exercise than those who are not lonely. Their diet is higher in fat, their sleep is less efficient, and they report more daytime fatigue. Loneliness also disrupts the regulation of cellular processes deep within the body, predisposing lonely people to premature aging.”

Researchers have found those with little loneliness are more likely married, have higher incomes and educational status.

High levels of loneliness are correlated with health problems, living alone, small social networks and low quality social relationships.

Not surprisingly, research has also found loneliness becoming more common in the U.S. In a 1984 questionnaire, respondents most frequently reported having three close friends. In 2004, the most common response was zero!

What’s more important in combating loneliness is not how many social interactions you have but the quality of them. Having three or four close friends is enough to ward off loneliness and reduce the negative health consequences of it.

In my next article we’ll consider how to treat this mental state.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S. is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.