It’s time to tame holiday burdens
Stress for Success
December 7, 2010

Do you eagerly look forward to the holidays? Does your creative and spiritual energy expand?

Or are your holidays filled with too many “shoulds” that exhaust you?

Over the following weeks you can respond to a series of situations from an assessment requested by O Magazine that I adapted from the book, Kicking Your Holiday Stress Habits by Donald & Nancy Tubesing. These will help you move from your “Holiday Traps,” which stress you, to “Holiday Treasures,” which balance you.

1. You lose control over your activity calendar saying “yes” to all invitations and requests. Each carries a “social obligation” burden that can overwhelm you. Or the opposite, you sit at home waiting for someone to include you, which doesn’t happen so you’re alone again.
True False

2. You love the busyness aspect of the holidays because it fills you with a sense of purpose and worth. All of the social gatherings reconnect you with the support system you hold dear. Plus, the extra commitments help you appreciate the solitude and silence when they return.
True False

The first situation represents the stressful “Activity Trap” and the second one the stress reduction “Activity Treasure.” A “Yes” answer to #1 indicates that you are adding to your own stress while a “Yes” to #2 suggests you are nurturing yourself, therefore protecting yourself from the holiday strains.

It’s startlingly easy to get caught up in the holiday Activity Trap. You have your own expectations of yourself and of others while they have their expectations of you, as well. Often these expectations are very unrealistic.

To avoid the Activity Trap, list everything you want to accomplish during the holiday season then cross out the unnecessary activities.
* If everything is a priority to you then nothing is. So, identify your top priorities and make time for them, even if that means something else gets tossed out.
* What energizes and what drains you? Do more of what invigorates and less of what exhausts you. It doesn’t have to be a 100% change. Small movements in a healthier direction will do for now making more significant moves with time.
* Hold onto the activities you enjoy, even if they aren’t essential or could be done by others. You need them. They nurture you.
* Do unpleasant tasks as quickly and painlessly as possible, then reward yourself. Refuse to suffer.
* When you’re over-stressed, lighten your load. Accept help and imperfection.

Finally, turn obligations into energizers by creatively updating them:
* Instead of sending out holiday cards with a telling of the past year, write a compliment to each recipient.
* Surprise some on your list with a brief, long-distance phone call.
* Fill out your holiday cards at the library, a favorite restaurant or someplace enjoyable to you.

We’ll look at moving from another Holiday Trap to a Treasure next week.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is an international speaker and a Stress and Wellness Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.