Decide what you want, then make it happen
Stress for Success
January 5, 2010


“Live a life by design, not by accident,” said Dr. Rick Brinkman, a former colleague. What would the life you’re meant to live look like? Can you create it?

People tell me that I’m lucky to love what I do. I respond that luck has nothing to do with it; I read a book in 1979 (I guess I was lucky to come upon it), filled out the assessment (below) and voila, it pointed me toward what I’ve been doing ever since. Making it happen came from hard work, persistence, and most importantly, the belief that I could make it happen. If you don’t think you can improve your life, then you won’t even try.

If your life isn’t what you wanted what needs to happen to create a more appealing one? By “following your bliss” as Joseph Campbell said your life will be much more meaningful and less stressful.

Last week I wrote about creating New Year’s goals with the “end in mind” and briefly referred to the exercise that led me to my life’s work. If you’d like to reshape your life follow these directions. With patience you can discern your bliss, your “end.”

Directions (from “How to Put More Time into Your Life” by Dr. Dru Scott)
1. Consider your personal, professional and social lives, for each:
* What do you want/need more of?
* What do you want/need less of?
o List 20 – 30 items under each question. There will be cross over between the lists, for instance “more money,” “less debt.”

Listing 20 - 30 items isn’t easy. Keep at it. Listen for the implied “more/less of” desires in your complaints. Like complaining about commuting may imply you want “less driving,” “more working out of your home.”

2. Next, regarding your personal, professional and social lives, what do you hope your lifestyle and accomplishments will have been by the time you die?

Fill out these four lists many times over the next few weeks. Whatever repetitively shows up is forming the outline of your desired life. What reappeared in my lists included more:
* Travel;
* Money;
* Presenting workshops;
* Flexibility;
* Independence;

Less:
* Traditional work hours;
* Bureaucracy;
* Commuting;
* Politics;
* Dead-end work;

Accomplishments/lifestyle:
* A great marriage;
* World travel, adventure;
* Make more money/hour and work fewer hours;
* Author books;
* Self-employment working out of our home;

This exercise made it crystal clear that I wanted to start my own speaking business, travel the country and world presenting programs on topics that fascinated me and help people make desired changes. Once I started working toward this vision my considerable job burnout instantly started melting and gave meaning to everything I did in pursuit of my desired lifestyle. It has been my passion for 30 years.

Lily Tomlin once said, “I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” Don’t let life just happen to you. Take control and figure out which somebody you want to become. Then little by little make it happen.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., is a speaker and a Stress Coach. Order her book, Let Your Body Win: Stress Management Plain & Simple, at http://www.letyourbodywin.com/bookstore.html. Email her to request she speak to your organization at jferg8@aol.com.