Simplifying your life will help put you more in control of it
Stress for Success
January 6, 2009

There's nothing simple about the American lifestyle where we work too much and rest too little while we race against the clock eating too much and exercising too infrequently. No wonder we’re a society of obesity and diabetes, heart attacks and strokes, sleep deprivation and exhaustion.

Wow, that’s depressing! While this description may not be true of everybody, perhaps, it's a little true about most of us.

So what can you do?

Make living easier by slowing down, if not getting off, the treadmill of your life.

Happiness and satisfaction come from being what you want to be and living your values, from loving and supportive relationships, and from being satisfied with what you have versus dissatisfied with what you don't have. Simplifying your life can clear out your mental, emotional and physical clutter so the clarity of what’s truly important to you can shine through. Then slowly build your life around those things.

Unfortunately, too many are controlled by having to make a living to support the lifestyle they’ve chosen, one that’s full of clutter. This is the opposite of simplicity. To live more simply you must get rid of whatever confuses your life, both figuratively such as emotional clutter, and literally such as the stuff that piles up at home and at work.

Start the process by repeatedly asking yourself:
* What drains me the most at work and at home? Why?

For example, Peggy (not her real name) had been living in her stressful rut for so long that she couldn’t see the forest for the trees. But when she stepped back to contemplate this question it didn’t take her long to identify what was exhausting her; too much housework after long work days and too much fighting between her kids that she “had” to referee.

Here are some of the changes she made:
* She instituted weekly, family meetings where everyone discussed little, daily problems like Michael playing his music too loudly vs. Sarah failing Spanish. They learned to negotiate problem-solving, which reduced family tension so the kids fought less. Peggy also learned to stop refereeing their battles, which she shockingly learned was actually encouraging them.
* Through another family meeting everyone negotiated sharing household chores. Over a couple of months of Peggy not stepping in to “improve” or criticize how someone did their jobs, gradually all stepped up to the plate to pitch in more while Peggy learned to let go of expecting all tasks to be done perfectly.
* She scheduled thirty minutes of solitude three times a week after work to mediate, do yoga or just take a nap.

She started these small steps to decrease the tension from her main irritants. Over several months she experienced less stress, which allowed her to see even more areas that needed adjustment.

Taking even small steps to resolve what drains you miraculously moves you along the path to not only simplify your life but, more importantly, to put you back in control of it.


Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., of Inter Action Associates, is a trainer and a Stress Coach. E-mail her at www.jackieferguson.com with your questions or for information about her workshops on this and other topics and to invite her to speak to your organization