Learn to follow Mind Management Truisms to reduce your stress
Stress for Success
March 27, 2007


Tom and Mary are stuck in traffic that’s creeping along painfully slowly making them both late for their respective meetings. Are they equally stressed? If you think the traffic is “causing” their stress then your answer should be “yes, they’re equally stressed.”

Tom thinks to himself, “Oh, great! I should have left 30 minutes earlier like I’d planned. I’d better call and let them know I’ll be late.”

Mary is pounding on her steering wheel screaming to everyone, “Get out of my way, you ignorant moron! You’re making me late!”

Whether or not you’re stressed by something is determined by your perception of it. Your perception is communicated to you through your thoughts. Wherever your thoughts are going that’s where you are going, my Mind Management Truism #1. Given what Mary said to herself she’s obviously going toward more stress than Tom.

Become more consciously aware of what you think and say about any given stressor to understand better the degree to which and why you’re stressed. Thinking thoughts that lead you away from problem-solving, not just at first but on and on is causing more stress than the event itself. It’s one thing to initially blow a gasket over traffic, it’s quite another to continue thinking gasket-blowing thoughts.

Eldridge Cleaver said in the 1960s, “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.” The same goes for your thinking. If your thoughts aren’t problem-solving in nature, they’re problem-perpetuating. If you continue to think stressful thoughts how can you reduce your stress?

Also ask yourself what your goal is in the situation. Are your thoughts leading you toward or away from it? If the goal of both drivers is to remain calm for their meetings, they must think thoughts that lead toward this goal. Tom’s thoughts meet this stress reducing criteria. Mary’s are moving her toward being frazzled.

Mind Management Truism #2 states that your perception of stress is largely about your perception of control – or lack of. Having a sense of personal control in any situation lowers your stress. In this situation both drivers have no control over the traffic. Tom reminded himself that he should have left early as he’d planned. He sees this predicament as largely of his own making. He has an “internal locus of control”, meaning that he believes he has control to influence events; if not this time then the next.

Mary blames other drivers for her stress, exhibiting an “external locus of control”, she thinks she lacks control over what happens to her. Feeling powerless keeps her from seeing how she could avoid such situations in the future. Until she takes responsibility (internal locus of control) to avoid traffic jams like leaving early, she’ll continue to feel like she has no options (external locus of control).

These are two of my Mind Management Truisms that can help lower your stress. Next week we’ll look more of the hugely important issue of locus of control followed in future weeks with more Mind Management Truisms.

Jacquelyn Ferguson, M. S., of InterAction Associates, is a trainer and a Stress Coach. E-mail her at www.jackieferguson.com with your questions or for information about her workshops on this and other topics and to invite her to speak to your organization.